Susan in Traverse City, Michigan, wonders if there’s a single English word that denotes the relationship between two mothers-in-law, two fathers-in-law, or a mother-in-law and father-in-law. Co-mother seems too vague, and the psychologists’ terms affine or co-affin e, from the same root as affinity, aren’t used widely among the rest of the population. In Spanish there’s consuegro, and in Yiddish machatunim, as well as words in Portuguese, Italian, and Greek, but nothing that’s been adopted into English, and the German Gegenschwiegermutter doesn’t seem a likely candidate, either. This is part of a complete episode.
Transcript of “What Do We Call our Children’s In-Laws?”
Hello, you have A Way with Words. Hi, this is Susan Turner from Traverse City, Michigan.
Hi, Susan. Welcome to the show. Hi, Susan.
Hi. I was wondering if there is such a word that is a name for the relationship between one mother-in-law and another mother-in-law, or a mother-in-law and a father-in-law, father-in-law or father-in-law.
In other words, we always have to say my daughter’s mother-in-law or father-in-law or my son’s mother-in-law or father-in-law. And when I refer to my daughter’s mother-in-law, for instance, that’s how I have to put it. And it seems like there might be a word that is easier than going through the whole mother-in-law business. So your kids are married, your child is married to their child, and what is a short name for your relationship to them? And so you just use those mouthfuls that you just mentioned?
Sure. If I have to introduce, or if I am talking about one of them, I will say my son’s mother-in-law. Of course, that’s easily understood. And someone had mentioned, when I was talking about this with a friend, had mentioned co-mother, but that has various implications that that could mean anything.
Right. That sounds like a lesbian couple, maybe, or some kind of high rating, raising a baby.
Yeah.
Yeah, this is a perennial frustration for speakers of English because we don’t really have a good word for that. There are a few technical terms that you might see psychologists or therapists use, like affine, A-F-F-I-N-E, which is a relative by marriage which can be an in-law like that, or co-affine.
Does that come from the word affinity?
It’s related to the word affinity, yes.
Okay.
But, you know, you just you don’t hear that. And it’s a sort of a confusing sounding word, a fine. And it’s kind of the same problem with the other languages that do have a word. We could borrow, but for a very long time, you still would have to explain what that word meant every time you borrow it.
That’s right.
You have to put the brakes on the conversation and say that in Spanish they have the word consuegro. And in Yiddish there’s machatunim, which is also people related by marriage. But there’s no common word other than…
Not in English, there isn’t.
Portuguese has it, Italian has it, Greek has it, but English does not.
Yeah, there’s German Gegensvigermutter, but, you know.
Even that is a little bit of a mouthful.
We need a word.
We need a word in English.
I don’t know that we’re going to be able to make it stick, but we’ll keep our ears and eyes open, and if we come across something that really seems to be sticking to English, we will put this out there because we get this question quite a few times a year.
And people are just like, I’m just tired of saying my daughter’s mother-in-law.
Sure.
Okay.
And if I hear of anything that sounds appropriate, I’ll let you know.
Outstanding.
Susan, thank you so much for calling in and our best to the other mother-in-law.
Thank you.
I appreciate that.
It was good talking to you.
All right.
Thanks, Susan.
Bye-bye.
Okay.
Bye-bye.
So Spanish, Italian, Greek, German, Yiddish, Portuguese, they have a word for it.
Tagalog, I believe, has something.
We don’t have a word for it.
Yeah.
Let’s come up with one.
If you have a word that you know is going to catch on for your child’s in-laws, let us know.
Or tell us an email, words@waywordradio.org.
