Transcript of “Is Schmoozer Derogatory?”
Hello, you have A Way with Words.
Hi, this is Mona from Riverview, Florida.
Well, we’re glad to have you on the show. What’s up?
I would like to talk about the word schmooze or schmoozing or schmoozer.
So I’m Jewish and I come from New York originally.
And when I was growing up, my family used the word schmooze.
And the way that I interpreted it was you go to a party, you go to a gathering with people, and you talk to them.
And it’s not like you’re trying to get anything.
You’re just like working the crowd.
And as an adult now, a much older adult, I love to schmooze.
I love to like walk into a crowd of people, especially if I know them, and just, you know, start talking.
So last summer, we vacationed up in Upper Michigan.
And I was at a gathering of women and this one particular friend who I think is very outgoing and gregarious and friendly.
I said to her, you’re such a schmoozer.
And she looked at me and she said, excuse me?
I said, you’re a schmoozer.
You’re like, you know, you’re always like friendly and talking.
And all of a sudden, everybody in this small group like stopped talking and looked at us.
And another person said, you know, you’re insulting her.
And I said, I’m not insulting her.
I’m telling her that I appreciate her friendliness.
And so this other woman got out her phone and Googled the meaning of schmooze or schmoozer.
And she came up with mine, but she also came up with some other meanings.
And it never occurred to me that it could have a negative connotation.
So I listened to your show.
I loved the show.
And I thought, this is a great way to find out what people think.
Wow, what a dilemma.
You encountered one of the classic snafus, that a word has more than one meaning.
And you only knew about one of them.
Sounds like a real difficult situation, Mona.
Yes.
Well, the friend is still my friend.
Okay, good.
That’s good.
I do not call her a schmoozer, but I do have to say, other friends, especially Jewish friends, they’re like, yeah, we’re just schmoozing.
Come on, let’s schmooze.
It’s like, it’s not a big deal.
So maybe it’s a cultural thing.
It’s complicated because that word schmooze was borrowed from Yiddish, as you probably know, probably more than once.
And in the first original meaning, it did mean to chat or to gossip.
And so it really is just about having conversation, just shooting the breeze with people.
But the second sense, which shows up in English almost immediately, so we’re talking 1880s forward for both meanings, is coexistent.
This one where a schmoozer is somebody who wants something.
Maybe a politician is a schmoozer.
A salesperson is a schmoozer.
And it’s the schmoozer word in particular, the noun form of somebody who schmoozes that really has this dichotomy.
The verb’s a little safer.
You know, we’re just schmoozing means, you know, we’re just chattering or having a light conversation.
That one is a little less clear cut with the two meanings.
But that noun of a person who schmoozes, you know, a flatterer isn’t always a person you want to talk to.
So I definitely learned my lesson, and I realized I have to be more cautious.
And you’re right.
You were right.
So thank you for that.
No, but you came to us with this perfect dilemma, and I think we’ll be talking about this another time because it’s just a great explanation of words almost always have more than one meaning, and it’s the context that matters.
But you were in a friendly environment talking about a schmoozer, and the context wasn’t completely clear.
Yeah.
Well, you’re schmoozing with us.
Yeah.
And Mona, the other word that I’m thinking of in this context is the word kibitz.
You know, we were just kibitzing.
Because that’s sometimes negative and sometimes not.
Exactly.
Yeah.
It can mean to speak informally, just to chat, but it can also mean to look on and give unwanted advice.
You know, like you’re watching somebody playing a card game and you’re sticking your nose into their business.
But it has those two meanings as well.
That’s interesting to me as well, because I think of kibitzing as you’re just teasing or fooling with someone.
It’s not like it has no name.
It’s like you’re kibitzing.
You’re a kibitzer.
You’re a joker.
You’re a comedian.
You’re just having fun.
Like you kibitz.
Yeah.
So that’s interesting.
And I wonder if in my family, which, you know, they’re pretty much all gone.
My parents and the aunts and uncles, like what they would have said about it.
Yeah, that would be good to know.
Well, I know we have lots of listeners who have Yiddish speaking heritage somewhere in their line.
So I have no doubt, Simona, that we’ll hear from them about how they use these two words.
Perfect. Great. Thank you so much for sharing your story with us.
And you take care now.
OK, thank you. Bye.
We would love to have you call and schmooze with us.
