Bethany in Ithaca, New York, wants a word that sums up a way she’s feeling lately: being desperately lonely, but also reveling in her solitude. She’s toying with her own coinage based on Greek and Latin roots having to do with “solitude” and “split in two,” dichosolisthenia. Martha suggests turning to the simpler, earthy language of Anglo-Saxon, which powerfully evokes loneliness in such 10th-century poems as “The Wanderer” and “The Seafarer.” Gladlorn, maybe? Or perhaps a compound like anhagawynn from words that mean “solitary happiness.” Grant offers a German term from Will Jelbert’s book Word Wise: Say What You Mean, Deepen Your Connections, and Get to the Point (Bookshop|Amazon). It’s Waldeinsamkeit, literally “forest loneliness,” the idea of feeling alone in a forest while also feeling happily connected to nature. This is part of a complete episode.
Transcript of “A Word for Feeling Terribly Lonely But Loving the Solitude”
Hello, you have A Way with Words.
Hi, my name is Bethany. I’m calling from Ithaca, New York.
Hi, Bethany. Welcome to the show.
My question is, I was looking for a word that means to feel at the same time just desperately lonely, but also absolutely reveling in your solitude.
Can you talk a little bit more about that?
Well, sure. Well, I posed the question to my friends. I have a lot of friends who have degrees in English and linguistics and, you know, who speak different languages. And just for the concept of the idea of feeling these two very different things, feeling so incredibly, horribly lonely, but also just like really happy to be alone. And no one could come up with anything.
So they suggested that I coin a word. So I did. And the word I coined is dichosolosthemia. That’s dichosolosthemia. And I got there from dichotomy, the dicho for dichotomy, the dichotomy of feeling very, you know, happy, but also very depressed and lonely. And the solace from solitude, because that’s what the dichotomous feeling is about. And then since talking about feelings and English likes to beat up other languages to steal from them, I stole the anastemia from Greek. The themia, so it’s like the solesthesia.
And I don’t know. That’s a really good explanation. Sounds like a well-made word. The feeling that you’re describing reminds me of breaking up with someone who’s bad for you where you really missed the relationship.
Oh, yeah.
So you needed to get rid of them.
Yeah.
Yeah, it is like that. You’re right. And Bethany, I appreciate your reaching for Greek here, of course. It’s often difficult to bring Greek into English and have it be, I don’t know. I find it hard to describe feelings with Greek roots. Somehow it feels kind of clinical to me.
So I guess I’m reaching for something from Anglo-Saxon, you know, that sort of more kind of earthy language. I mean, I’m just making this up. I mean, something like Gladlorn, you know, sort of like Lovelorn, but Gladlorn.
Oh, that’s nice.
Forlorn and glad.
Yeah.
Yeah. I mean, you might enjoy.
Kind of like despair and despair.
Yeah, yeah, like despair and despair. I’m also thinking you might enjoy going and reading some Anglo-Saxon poetry in translation. There’s some really great stuff. There’s one old, old, old poem called The Wayfarer and another called The Wanderer and another called The Seafarer. And they just really viscerally, I think, connote loneliness.
And I’m just wondering if there’s something from Anglo-Saxon, An Haga Winn. An Haga is solitary and Winn is happiness. I’ve got one more for you, Bethany, and this is from Will Gelbert’s book, Word Wise. This book just came out, and he’s got a section in here for these supposedly untranslatable words. Of course, there’s no such thing as an untranslatable word. There’s hard or difficult to translate words, but it might take a paragraph rather than a single word.
This word is a German word, Waldseemkeit, and it means basically forest loneliness. It’s a literary word, basically woodland solitude. You’re in the forest without other people, but you’re not alone because you’re connected to nature.
Oh, I love that. How do you spell that?
Wow, that’s beautiful. W-A-L-D-E-I-N-S-A-M-K-E-I-T.
Yeah, and I got that from Will Gelbert’s book, Word Wise. Wald Einstamkeit. That sounds a lot like it. I like all our suggestions. It’s more about the intersection between these feelings, right?
Right, right. It’s something you feel but can’t articulate?
Yes.
Well, you know what, Bethany? The really cool thing is that even if people are listening to this program in solitude, we can all come together and try to come up with more words to describe this feeling. So I’m looking forward to hearing from our listeners about how do you put into one word the feeling of being lonely, but at the same time, okay with that loneliness. Actually reveling in it a little bit.
Thank you, Bethany, for bringing up this topic. Really appreciate it.
Yeah, thank you so much for having me on.
All right.
Be well.
Take care.
You too.
Bye-bye.
Bye-bye.
And if you’ve got a word for Bethany, one you’ve made or one that you found, let us know, 877-929-9673. Email words@waywordradio.org or talk to us on Twitter @wayword.
