Moonbats and Wingnuts (full episode)

You’re listening to A Way with Words.

I’m Grant Barrett.

And I’m Martha Barnette.

You know, these days it’s impossible to turn on the radio without hearing people talk about politics.

So does this mean you’re about to talk about politics?

As a matter of fact, it does.

But of course what I want to talk about, Grant, is political language.

And I know you’re a lexicographer, you follow this stuff.

What are you seeing?

What are you hearing?

Once you start tracking this stuff, Martha, you can’t shake it.

You know, the guys who turn to the sports pages because they have to see what last night’s scores were, they skip the whole rest of the paper.

The world could be on fire and they want to see it out of the next did.

I’m kind of that way with political language.

Well, yeah.

Yeah, it’s addictive.

One of the terms they came across, which I really like because I like the fact that it’s catching on, is sleepover.

Sleepover?

Now, wait a minute.

Is this another political scandal?

Has nothing to do with Edwards.

Oh, good.

This is when a poll worker takes an electronic voting machine home.

Boy, they’re desperate.

Seriously.

The machine sleeps over at their house.

The machines get prettier at closing time?

What?

Some strange beer goggles.

No, no.

They bring it home because they want to protect it, prevent people from possibly tampering with it.

Or even more practically, the next day they’re just going to take it to a new polling station.

Really?

So they take it home with them.

Yeah, it’s kind of a measure of security.

Now, the problem with this is, of course, is various political parties might question the allegiance of the poll worker and think that maybe they’re taking it home so that they can tamper with it.

And so it’s one of those things that continues to be used because of various legislation in California and Ohio has come up over this practice.

So sleepover, interesting, yeah.

Oh, that’s great.

I love it.

As far as the election goes, there’s not a lot else new that’s happening.

The old terms are coming back.

Every four years, there’s a revival of political language.

This is if you discount, of course, the plays on words for the name Barack Obama.

Oh, sure.

Okay, great.

Well, if you’d like to talk about political slang or any other kind of slang or any other aspect of language, give us a yell.

The number is 1-877-9299673.

That’s 1-877-Wayword or email us.

The address is words@waywordradio.org.

Hello.

You have A Way with Words.

Hi, Martha and Grant.

This is Kay from Traverse City, Michigan.

Well, Kay, what’s on your mind?

Well, it’s happened again and I can’t find a word in the English language for it.

The garage door wouldn’t work and when the repairman came out, it worked fine.

In the past, I called a plumber to fix a leaking toilet and when he got here, it didn’t leak.

And I’ve called a cable TV guy out about a bad reception.

When he got here, it was perfect.

And I know mothers have taken sick kids to the doctor and then they’re just fine when they get there.

And I wonder, is there a word for this phenomenon?

Because I’ll tell you, all I know now is that I have fixophobia.

What are you calling it?

Fixophobia?

Fixophobia, I guess.

Fear of getting anything fixed at this point.

So F-I-X-A-P-H-O-B-I-A?

Sure.

We’ll put a pH in it to make it fancy.

Yeah.

Well, I know just what you’re talking about and we do need a word for it.

You know, Martha, I’ve been on the other end of that.

When I worked in the tech support business for years and years, I was the guy that people would call when they had computer problems.

And I can’t tell you how often I would arrive at someone’s office or desk and they’d be like, “I don’t know what happened.

It’s all working fine now.

What did you do?

Did you do something in the server room?

Did you do something remotely over the network?”

I’m like, “No, I just showed up.”

Well, I’m glad to know other people have these problems.

Oh, absolutely, Kay.

Absolutely.

I might have a word for you, Kay.

It depends on how paranoid you are.

Do you tend to be paranoid?

Oh, I’m open to anything at this point.

I’m hoping for some long, impressive sounding word so that I could say, “Oh, yeah, the repairman came out and it was another one of those fill in the blank experiences.”

Gotcha.

What about “resistentialism”?

Well, I’d better say that again.

What about “resistentialism”?

It’s kind of a joking word, but it’s the belief that inanimate objects are hostile to humans.

Oh, now that sounds good.

And so they do things on purpose just to mess with us, like you’re writing a document and the computer eats it at the last second.

Aha, I’m beginning to believe that.

It’s a word that was coined by a humorist in the 1960s, and you will find it in the Oxford English Dictionary.

I mean, it’s kind of a joking word, and it’s sort of a combination of the Latin word “race,” which means “thing,” and “resist.”

So it’s the way that things resist us, you know, like that garage door opener or your toilet that’s now working.

So would you pronounce that one again for me?

“Resistentialism.”

R-E-S-I-S-T-E-N-T-I-A-L-I-S-M.

“Resistentialism.”

That sounds great.

That’s just what I was looking for.

That’s a great word, Martha.

That’s a great word.

And you know what?

I think you’ve cured my fixophobia.

Well, all right.

But you know, the first time you see that on a bill from a repairman, where he writes “Resistentialism,” $45, then you’re going to regret it.

$45?

You must have a cheap plumber, Grant.

Well, okay.

Well, I hope that at least makes you feel better the next time your toilet gets better.

It certainly does.

Okay, take care of yourself, Kay.

All right.

Well, thank you, and I love your show and enjoy talking to you.

Aw, that’s nice.

Thank you, Kay.

Bye-bye.

All right, bye-bye.

If you can’t put a name to your pain, give us a call, we’ll try and help.

The number is 1-877-929-9673, or send us an email to words@waywordradio.org.

Hello, you have A Way with Words.

Hi, Grant, this is Judy Hendricks.

I’m calling from Grays Lake.

Hi, Judy, how you doing?

I’m doing well.

Hi, Martha.

Grays Lake where?

Illinois.

Oh, Illinois, okay.

You have a question for us?

Yes, I do.

All right.

It’s a weird one.

Okay, so I was driving down the highway, and I glanced up at this billboard on the side of the road.

And I really have no idea what they were advertising, you know, possibly alcohol.

But it showed this picture of this big, burly, ruddy-looking Highlander in a full kilt with a sock dagger and a sporan and all that.

And it just said, “Great Scott.”

And I suddenly had one of those episcopal moments when I realized that I had never heard any other nationality used as an exclamation.

I’ve never had anyone run up to me and yell, “Holy Haitians,” you know.

And so I came home, and I looked it up to see if I could find out where that came from.

And all I could find was a reference to some Civil War general.

And even with that, I had no idea how it could have become an exclamation.

You know, it’s like, “Great, the guy was good on the field,” or something.

But then I had a neighbor, a guy named McTavish, who told me that he thought it was from Macbeth, that when people would talk about Macbeth, they would say — when they thought you were acting a little strange, they would say, “You’re acting as crazy as the Great Scott.”

That Scott.

So that when you would say “Great Scott,” it meant something was really a little off-kilter.

-huh.

Off-kilter.

Off-kilter, oh, sorry.

Pun unintended.

Well, you can keep it.

That’s all right.

I was just wondering if you guys had any info on this.

You know, if you look at the Oxford English Dictionary, it takes you back to 1885, saying that “Great Scott” is just a euphemism, one of those words that you use so that you don’t use the word “God,” you know.

Like, instead of saying “Great God,” you would say “Great Scott.”

And it lists several like that.

It sounds like a stretch to me.

Does it?

It sounds like a stretch?

Sounds like a stretch.

I mean, God and Scott don’t sound all that much alike to me, but what do I know?

Well, but Jiminy doesn’t sound very much like Jesus either.

Jiminy Cricket I can see.

Yeah, well, there are lots of those, like “Great Caesar” and “Great Jehoshaphat” and things — Holy Zeus.

Holy Zeus.

Well, yeah, there’s sort of a euphemism too.

But you mentioned the Civil War general, and I’m kind of leaning in that direction, Grant, although I don’t think we can nail it down for sure.

There was a great Civil War general, the guy who was commander-in-chief when the war broke out, named General Winfield Scott, and supposedly he was great in that he was quite heavy.

At one point he weighed about 300 pounds.

Oh, great as in massive.

Well, not only that, but he had a very high opinion of himself, Winfield Scott did, and some people called him “fuss and feathers.”

Ooh, “fuss and feathers,” yeah, and there are — Oh, that’s funny.

Yeah, there are references during the Civil War to soldiers swearing by their commander.

That is “Great Scott.”

Yeah, the earliest use, right?

Our colleague Barry Poppock has turned this up from 1867, and somebody specifically talking about General Scott, that Scott with two Ts, says — how does it go?

“We used to swear by him and the army.

‘Great Scott’ the fellows said.”

So it’s an actual — that’s very specific there, that they’re connecting the term to him, and that is the earliest use that I know of in print.

Well, that’s interesting, thank you.

Super.

Well, I’ll have to go back and break this to Mr.

McTavish.

Mr.

McTavish.

He’s going to be very upset.

Yeah, yeah.

Thanks a lot, guys.

Yeah, no problem, take care up there.

All right, bye-bye.

Bye-bye, Judy.

If you’ve got a question about the origins of something that you’ve long heard and just only started to wonder about, we are the people who can help you.

The number is 1-877-929-9673, that’s 1-877-Wayword.

Okay, Grant, how about you hit me again with another great slang term?

Well, if you remember, I talked earlier this year to William Safire.

He put out a new edition of his Political Slang Dictionary, right, which is a great book.

I think you’ve seen that.

He’s included for the first time terms that have sprung up, say, in the last 4 to 10 years.

And the reason I mention this is because the difference between 2004, when I did my book, and 2008, when he’s published his, a couple of these terms weren’t yet fixed in the language.

So it’s interesting to note what terms now we can consider four years later to be well established.

And two of these worth mentioning are moonbat and wingnut.

Do you know these?

Moonbat.

Is it like a fruit bat?

Well, only if you’re talking about a liberal in derogatory terms.

Oh, really?

That’s what a moonbat is?

Yes, and a wingnut is a derogatory name for a conservative.

I’ve certainly heard wingnut, but moonbat hasn’t quite invaded my consciousness yet.

Well, hey, I have an oldie but goodie for you in terms of, and I guess it isn’t necessarily political slang, but it was just a word I stumbled across in the Oxford English Dictionary the other day, and it’s empleomania, E-M-P-L-E-O-M-A-N-I-N-A.

This is when you’re crazy to be employee of the month?

Pretty close.

It’s defined in the OED as a mania for holding public office.

Empleomania.

I think there’s a lot of that going around these days.

Yeah, there’s something they call Washington disease or Potomac fever.

This is when somebody just seems to be insane to run for the presidency.

They can’t think of anything else that all they want to do is become president of the United States.

Sounds like it’s related to that.

Yeah, sounds like some people need to be cured.

Well, if you want to talk about language, call us, 1-877-929-9673, or send those emails to words@waywordradio.org.

Up next on A Way with Words, it’s a word puzzle.

[Music] You’re listening to A Way with Words.

I’m Grant Barrett.

And I’m Martha Barnette, and here’s our quiz guide, John Chonesky.

John, what ho.

What ho.

I’ll tell you what ho.

We’re waiting for the don, I’m his joke.

Come on.

Do you have a quiz for us here?

I do have a quiz.

Are either of you familiar with the phrase “the musical question”?

Sure.

Am I going to regret this?

No.

Well, it’s a bit dated, but during the classic days of radio, emcees would sometimes introduce a song and a performer with, “And now here’s Les Brown and his band of renown asking the musical question, ‘Who’s afraid of the big bad wolf?'”

Well, I’ll introduce some musical questions, that is, famous songs whose titles are questions, and I’ll give you the year, the performer, and some clues as to the song content.

For example, I might say, “It’s 1968, and here’s Dionne Warwick, completely lost somewhere in Northern California, asking the musical question, “Do you know the way to San Jose?”

“Do you know the way to San Jose?”

Right, that’s our musical question.

Right, that was one of those pre-GPS songs.

Exactly, now you would never have a song like that.

That’s right.

Here’s our first song.

“It’s 1976, and here’s Stevie Wonder presenting his newborn daughter to the world, asking the musical question, “Isn’t she lovely?”

“Isn’t she lovely” is great.

There you go, you got it.

Okay, here’s the next one.

“It’s 1965, and the love and spoonful are thinking about hiring a wizard to help their career, so they ask us the musical question, “Well, wizards make you think of…”

Pointy hats.

More general.

Wands, spells.

More even general.

Magic.

Right, and the love and spoonful, 1965, a question about magic.

“Do you believe in magic?”

Oh, right, right, right.

Oh, see, I knew that because Sean Cassidy covered that, and my sisters listened to it over and over.

Oh, okay.

I guess I should have threw in more Sean Cassidy information.

They had velour jackets with his face on the back.

They were quite in love with him.

And now the world knows it.

Let’s move on.

“It’s 1979, and Rod Stewart is putting the make on us as he asks us the musical question…”

I was thinking Rod Serling, wait a minute, okay.

No, different one.

Different Haggard face.

Different Rod.

“Is tonight the night?”

No.

What is he asking us?

Well, let’s see, Rod Stewart is putting the make on us, and I’m in no position to judge his relative attractiveness, but he’s asking…

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

Martha?

Yeah, Rod.

Rod.

Rod Stewart.

I’ll give you a hint.

Rod Stewart.

You may know this because of this trivia.

A lot of people think the title of the song begins with the word “do,” but it doesn’t.

It begins with the word “duh.”

“Duh?

You think I’m sexy?”

“Do you think I’m sexy?”

“Do you think I’m sexy?”

“If you like my body and you think I’m sexy, come on, darling, let me know.”

Nice.

This one’s aimed right at word experts, okay?

Okay.

When is he arriving?

In a way.

It’s 1944, and the king of the jukebox, Louis Jordan, grills his girl about the status of their relationship.

In Southern dialect, he asks the musical question, “Is you is or is you ain’t my baby?”

Wow, very good.

“Is you is or is you ain’t my baby?”

Louis Jordan.

How did you know that?

Danny Stiles.

Danny Stiles got a show on satellite radio, also plays on the air on WNYC and has for decades, does the whole big band sounds.

Great stuff.

That’s fantastic.

Well, now I know.

Your wheelhouse is- One of them.

Jazz standards.

Small, very small, very small.

It’s a jazz standard, even though the grammar ain’t standard.

All right, let’s see.

What’s the next one?

It’s 1984, and an amalgam of Irish and British pop stars are curious about the yuletide season on another continent.

They ask the musical question, “Do they know it’s Christmas after all?”

Very good.

“Do they know it’s Christmas?”

I think you found my sweet spot.

The teen years when music starts to become important.

That’s right.

Do you know the name of the group?

What they call themselves?

I forget.

It was Band Aid.

Oh, Band Aid.

That’s right.

Band Aid.

By Bob Geldof.

Let’s try this.

It’s 1966, and the Beach Boys give voice to teenage frustration as they ask the musical question …

I’ll give you a quote.

“It’s gonna make it that much better when we can say goodnight and stay together.”

“Wouldn’t it be nice if …”

Something out of the way.

“Wouldn’t it be nice if we were older?”

Yay.

All right, John, that was so much fun.

Thank you for coming on the air with us today.

I had a great time, guys.

Thanks very much.

And if you have a question about language, call us.

The number’s 1-877-929-9673.

Or email us, as always.

The address is words@waywordradio.org.

We read everything.

Hello, you have A Way with Words.

Hi, how are you?

Hi.

Great.

Who is this?

This is Gabriel Spencer.

Hiya, Gabriel.

Where you come from?

From a little bit north of Baltimore, Maryland.

Yeah, so what’s up?

Well, I had a question about an experience I had.

I thought that you might be interested and that you might know the answer.

I was visiting my friend in Portland, Oregon, and I had a rental car, and he got in.

And there were some papers on the seat there.

And so I just told him to go ahead and put the papers in the jockey box.

And he looked at me, not quite knowing what I meant, and so I repeated it.

I said, “Just go ahead and put those in the jockey box.”

And he just kept looking at me.

So I pointed to it so he’d understand what I meant.

And he told me he’d never heard of that word before, jockey, or that.

He thought you wanted him to stick it in his underwear.

That’s right.

Something like that.

I don’t know.

Anyway, so he said he’s always called the jockey box a glove compartment.

And I’d heard of that too, but I was interested in that he had never heard of jockey box before.

Yeah.

So my question is, where did I get that expression from, and am I the only one who uses that word?

Well, I tell you, I never heard that growing up.

I used to say glove compartment, and I heard older people say glove box.

What about you, Grant?

Same story here.

Before I got into language biz, it was nothing I would have ever encountered before.

But let me ask you, Gabriel, where are you from?

You’re in Maryland now, but are your roots there?

Well, I have, I guess, some scattered roots.

I grew up as an army brat for part of my life, moving around from army base to army base.

Then I went to middle school and high school in Logan, Utah, and my parents are still living there.

And then otherwise, I moved around quite a bit from Washington, D.C. Area to Long Island, and now I’m here in Baltimore.

Yeah.

Did you hear the bells go off in our heads just now when you mentioned Utah?

No.

What about that?

I guess maybe I’m just hearing the bells in my own head.

Those are the voices, Martha.

They just sound like bells sometimes.

They’re saying Utah, Utah, Northwest, jockey box.

Right, there’s a strong connection there.

My dad is from Idaho and my mom is from California.

There we go.

Perfect.

That’s close enough, because jockey box is very much specific to that part of the country.

I mean, it’s a little widespread, but it shows up again and again in the historical record in Idaho and Utah.

And I think the idea is that at least as early as the 1890s, there was a box under the driver’s seat in a wagon where he could put little small articles.

And the jockey, the guy who was driving the vehicle, just about that time they started coming up with prototypes of automobiles and all of that, so it makes sense that that would get applied to automobiles.

The earliest use that we know of is from 1881 in a newspaper in Idaho.

And it’s funny, this word really hasn’t spread that far from that part of the country.

People east of the Rockies are all pretty much going to be befuddled when you say “chockey box” instead of “glove box” or “glove compartment.”

Well, hey, Gabriel, I suspect that you’ve just introduced a whole huge swath of the country to that expression “jockey box.”

Thanks for sharing with us, Gabriel.

Thanks for setting some light on that.

I appreciate it.

Sure.

All right.

All right, bye-bye.

Take care.

Bye-bye.

Give us a call.

The number is 1-877-9299-673, or send those emails to words@waywordradio.org.

Hello, you have A Way with Words.

Hi, this is Noriko.

I’m calling from San Diego.

Hi, Noriko.

How are you today?

Good, thank you.

How are you?

What’s on your mind?

Well, I have a question about a word “shrink,” meaning therapist.

A shrink, right.

First, I didn’t know what it meant.

I’m originally from Japan, and I really didn’t know, so I’d like to find out.

Okay.

But you know now.

Now you know it means a therapist, but you’re just curious about how shrink comes to mean therapist, right?

Yes, yes, yes.

Do you have any theories about that yourself?

Well, I didn’t.

I really couldn’t think of anything, and I asked my boyfriend.

He said — he didn’t know, but he thought maybe it’s coming from the head shrink or something like a tribe in Amazon.

You’re involved with a smart man.

I mean, number one, he’s involved with you.

And number two, he’s right about shrink coming from head shrinker.

Okay.

As far as I know, Grant, in the early 1950s, people were talking in Hollywood about going to see a head shrinker that is a therapist, and it appears to be a reference to tribes in Ecuador and Peru who are known for this grisly practice of cutting off the heads of their enemies and then shrinking them down in this process that I won’t go into, but it’s kind of interesting if you read about it.

But it’s a joke, right?

It started out as a joke and just became kind of — it’s still got a joking connotation to it, right?

Oh, sure.

Yeah, yeah.

It’s casual, and yeah, as you said, it’s a joke.

And in 1951, there was a documentary called Jungle Headhunters, and I think that probably did a lot to popularize the notion, because there were all these posters that said things like, “See, human heads shrunk to the size of baseballs.”

And so I think the idea there is that they do something kind of powerful and magical to your head.

It might also have to do with shrinking those massive egos in Hollywood.

I don’t know.

That’s funny.

Well, Noriko, I find it kind of interesting because if you think back to the 1950s, it was really different from how it is now.

There was quite a stigma, much more of a stigma, I think, in seeking help with your mental health.

And I will say that I don’t know if your boyfriend mentioned this, but you have to be a little bit careful with that word.

A lot of people toss it off casually, but I know a lot of, especially psychotherapists, are still offended by that word.

Don’t you find that, Grant?

Yeah, there’s still — it’s not a word that anybody who’s in that business is going to put on a business card.

They’re not going to put it on their office door.

Yeah.

So I’d like to say that it’s because they help shrink your problems, but it apparently, as far as we know, goes back to that idea of doing something really intense to your head.

Wow.

That’s interesting.

Yeah.

Well, now you know, Noriko.

Yes, thank you very much.

You’re welcome.

All right.

Thanks for calling.

Thank you.

Bye-bye.

Bye-bye.

Well, you can give these headcases a call.

The number is 1-877-929-9673.

Or email us.

The address is words@waywordradio.org.

Hello, you have A Way with Words.

Hello, this is Mike Prinkline from Cedarburg, Wisconsin.

Cedarburg, Wisconsin.

Mike, how you doing?

Hi, what’s going on in Cedarburg?

Well, not much.

I’m a writer, so I don’t get out much.

I couldn’t even tell you what the weather is the last few weeks.

When’s the last time you took a shower?

My wife is laughing very hard right now.

That is a dilemma.

Got a language question in there somewhere.

I write television documentaries, and one of the things I noticed is that when you have a narrator do a reading, you connect teeth.

When one word ends in a “t,” another word begins in a “t,” you have to connect them.

It’s what we call telegraphing the teeth.

So, like, if I were to say to an Olympian that they could have two meals, I would say, “You should eat twice.”

Now, on paper, there’s two teeth, but when we say it, there’s only one.

Your tongue never leaves the top of your mouth.

Well, that all works perfectly fine when you’re speaking it, but I was kind of wondering about the impact on language.

The really best example of this is in filmmaking we use a very handy product called duct tape.

You know, I did not telegraph the teeth there.

I separated them, but if you telegraph them, it’s duct tape.

Duct tape is a great product, but I realized recently I’ve seen it for sale as duct tape.

It looks like they’ve just sort of changed the whole word.

I was kind of wondering about how this happened, if this happened often, that how we say words, especially in that case, would change what the language actually is, because now my duct tape has a little duck on it.

And you’re wondering which came first, the duck or the duct?

I think the duct came first, but I think the duct is losing, and that’s what I’m deeply concerned about.

The duct tape is losing itself to duct tape.

Yeah, well, that’s a tricky one, isn’t it, Grant?

Yeah, that’s a tough one.

There was a type of tape called duct tape, D-U-C-K, that is much older than the D-U-C tape, the duct tape.

So there’s some confusion there between the two different types of tape.

Because it’s like cloth, like canvas duct?

That’s right, exactly right.

Duct is a type of canvas or cloth.

But, Martha, I think what we’re talking about here is what we call in language is when you allied words, right?

Mm-mm—

You’re kidding.

You’re saying duct tape actually came first?

Well, we’re not sure.

Etymologists have kind of been all around Robin Hood’s barn about it.

We can’t say for sure which came first.

We do know that in the printed record we see duct tape first, but again, it’s a different type of tape.

But it’s entirely possible that there are separate occasions of people confusing the words that came later.

It’s probably likely, actually.

But to go back to your original question, the history of duct tape is interesting, but from a language geek’s point of view, I like what you’re saying about it sounds more natural when you blend the two sounds together, right?

If you separate them, it sounds unnatural and unlikely.

Exactly, that’s the challenge, yeah.

Right, and I guess you see that all the time.

I mean, words like ice cream and handicapped parking hard disk.

But you don’t see the spelling changing there.

I’m trying to think of…

Iced tea is the one that I can think of.

So some restaurants, I live in New York City, so I’m always walking down the street and I see signs.

Some list in the window, we have iced tea with I-C-E-D-T-E-A in the window.

Others leave off the D, and it’s only iced tea.

And it’s because those D and T sounds do exactly what you’re talking about.

They blend, and so it might seem natural to write only one of the hard contents and not both of them.

Oh, that’s fascinating.

Well, Mike, thank you so much for an interesting call.

You led us to a bunch of places here.

Thanks, it’s a lot of fun.

I listen every week on the podcast.

All right, well think of us the next time you use duct tape.

Or duct tape.

Or duct tape, whatever.

Whatever it was.

And we’ll think of you.

Okay, thank you.

All right, thanks, Mike.

Bye-bye.

Bye-bye.

Well, if you’d like for us to put you on tape, we won’t duck your questions.

Just give us a call.

The number is 1-877-929-9673.

Earlier in the show, we talked about political slaying.

You want to hear some more?

Of course I do, Grant.

Remember, I said that it’s almost impossible to keep up with all the plays on the name of Barack Obama.

Oh, yeah, I just saw “No-bama” in the paper today.

Exactly.

I’ve given up trying, basically.

And it’s just as well because in February, Chris Wilson’s encyclopedia “Baracktannica” Oh, no!

Has appeared on Slate magazine.

It’s hilarious.

And they’ve even made a widget that you can post on your own website where you click the “More” button.

And every time you click it, it gives you a new word based upon Barack Obama’s name.

Things like “Obombastic” rhetoric is spoken by Barack Obama.

Or “Obomaraderie” — goodwill and lighthearted rapport at a campaign rally.

Oh, no!

There’s tons of this stuff.

If he’s elected President of the United States, we’re going to have four years of this.

Oh, my gosh.

And what about McCain?

I mean, isn’t there stuff you can do with him?

I mean, I realize that the name McCain isn’t as weird as Obama.

Oh, there’s stuff that you can do, but it’s all pretty kind of predictable and ordinary, like “McCan’t” or stuff like that.

It’s not.

The best Obama one that I’ve seen is where they put an apostrophe between the “O” and the “B” and then they changed his logo to have a shamrock in it, so it looks like he’s Irish.

Oh, no.

Well, meanwhile, if you have a question about language, give us a call.

The number is 1-877-929-9673.

That’s 1-877-Wayword or send an e-mail to words@waywordradio.org.

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You’re listening to A Way with Words.

I’m Grant Barrett.

And I’m Martha Barnette, and it’s time for another slang quiz.

Grant, today’s contestant for slang this is Mark Pachean from North Carolina.

Hello, Mark.

Hi, Grant.

I’m Martha.

Hi, I’m Mark.

We understand that you are a physician.

Do you use a lot of slang in your work?

Well, I’m a pediatrician, and probably my favorite slang comes back from years ago when one of my medical school mentors was telling kids to calm down by telling them to cool their jets.

And I’ve always thought that was a great expression, and I still use it to this day.

Cool your jets.

Oh, you know, I use that with my son all the time because he’s the most impatient person on the planet.

Cool your jets.

Well, Mark, are you ready to rev up your jets and play?

I’m ready.

Okay.

Here’s how we’re going to play the game.

Grant is going to give you a sentence with a blank in it, and then he’ll give you three words that could fill in that blank.

And your job will be to figure out which slang word fits best in that space.

Okay?

Okay.

I’m not using the questions either, so I’ll be on your side of the table listening, and we can talk about the clues if you like.

Let’s go.

All right.

Let’s go.

All right.

Here’s the first sentence.

I know the Dow just dropped 20%, but I’m sure there will be a blank in the next 48 hours.

You can sell at a slightly lower loss if you time it right.

So what goes in that blank?

Will there be a yellow canary swoop in the next 48 hours?

A dog yelp or a dead cat bounce?

Well, a yellow canary swoop doesn’t make any sense.

If you’re talking about canaries and mines, that just doesn’t do anything to it coming up.

A dead cat bounce sounds more like something that’s dismal that at least is less dismal.

And a dog — what did you say?

A dog yelp?

A dog yelp.

I guess a dying dog could give one little yelp before it dies, so it could be either one of those last two.

I’ll go for a dead cat bounce.

Really?

And I think that’s pretty smart, because economics is the dismal science, right?

Mm—

Poor puppy, though.

Poor cat!

The cat’s already dead!

Poor kitty.

I hope it was a painless death.

You’re right.

It is a dead cat bounce.

It’s one of those terms that the men on Wall Street use to suggest that the market would rebound just a little bit.

It’s one of those crude and juvenile terms that they use, but that’s pretty much what you’d expect from the same people who put our national economy in the state it’s in, right?

Right.

So not bouncing very much then, just going up a little bit.

No, just no bounce at all.

All right, let’s try another one, Mark.

You ready?

Ready.

The second sentence.

Sally’s mother and father each were identical twins, but she and her brother, though they were also twins, were only blank.

So, were Sally and her brother A, a pigeon pair, B, candlesticks, or C, double runts?

That’s R-U-N-T-S.

A pigeon pair, candlesticks, or double runts?

That’s right.

Well, did you say they were twins as well as their parents?

Yes, Sally and her brother were twins, and their mother and father were also twins of a pair, you know, each twins with a sibling.

So did you say the parents were identical twins or not?

Right, yeah, each of the parents were identical twins, but Sally and her brother are not identical twins, so what are they?

You’re talking to a pediatrician, Grant, so you have to be really clear.

Right, if they’re paternal twins, but I’ve never heard any of those other slangs.

Say them again.

That’s right, yeah, a pigeon pair, candlesticks, or double runts?

I don’t know anything about pigeons, whether they’re supposed to ever look alike or whether they’re all variations.

Candlesticks don’t really, doesn’t imply differences, and double runts doesn’t really imply differences.

I mean, the runt of the litter doesn’t really, I guess if you’re a twin, you’re often smaller than if you’re not a twin.

I would go with the first one.

A pigeon pair.

A pigeon pair.

That’s it, you got it exactly right, Mark.

It’s a pigeon pair.

This is one of those terms that goes back a couple hundred years, and a pigeon pair can be one of two things.

Fraternal twins that are a boy and a girl, or they can be non-twin boy and girl siblings who are the only children in their family.

So Mark, that’s two for two, beautiful.

Yeah, great work.

I’ve got to make this harder.

So that’s it?

That’s it.

Well, the fireworks start in about five minutes.

Oh, man.

And I promise not to lip-sync the anthem.

Well, there is one more thing, Mark.

Yes?

To thank you, we’re going to send you a copy of Grant’s book called The Official Dictionary of Unofficial English.

Fantastic.

Thanks, Mark.

Thank you very much.

Bye-bye.

Well, if you have a question about pigeon pairs or any other kind of English expression, give us a call.

The number is 1-877-929-9673.

That’s 1-877-929-word.

Or send us an email to words@waywordradio.org.

Hi, you have A Way with Words.

Hi, this is Sarah from Galveston, Texas.

Hi, Sarah.

Well, hi, Sarah.

How are you doing?

Good.

Sarah, what’s on your mind today?

I was actually wondering what makes a word actually slang.

The reason I ask is it actually comes back to your show.

You always ask the people, the contestants on that slang-ness what’s their favorite slang word.

So I was trying to think of mine and I came up with wonky, which is kind of a synonym to askew.

And I wondered, you know, I wonder if that’s actually a word in the dictionary or if it is slang.

What qualifies a word for slang?

So I found it in the dictionary and then I thought, well, it could still be slang.

I didn’t know.

So I thought I’d ask you guys.

Yeah, it should be in most dictionaries, at least the older sense meaning askew or a slant or crooked or not quite right, maybe slightly broken, right?

You hear that more in Britain, don’t you?

Yeah, but I think you’ll find it in most American dictionaries and probably won’t have a label as far as the region goes.

I know it.

I think it’s part of my own language.

But your question about what makes slang, that gets to the heart of what I do for a living.

Yeah, you’ve come to the right place.

The first thing to say is you’re absolutely right.

Something being in the dictionary doesn’t mean it isn’t slang.

Slang can still be in the dictionary.

Dictionaries are simply a very small snapshot, even the largest dictionaries, including the OED of the English language.

There are millions of words that are not in mainstream dictionaries, millions.

Of course, most of them are medical words or chemical words or technological words, scientific words, but still.

So the dictionary can only ever capture a small part of the language that most of us use at a given time and they’ll often put common slang in there.

That’s fine and it’s good and that’s what you use dictionaries for to find things out.

Sarah, when you think about wonky, would you call it slang?

To me, it sounds slang.

It doesn’t sound like you would use it in a proper English essay or something.

There we go.

It doesn’t seem as proper.

You’ve plugged into one of the criteria for what makes a word slang.

It’s the language that people would generally agree should not be used in formal situations or in front of people with a high social status.

I would say the president or the queen.

There are a couple of other things.

Slang tends to come from the language of people who don’t have a lot of power, who aren’t ranked socially high.

This is why slang tends to appear in the language of young men or in minority cultures or even in professions where people may be committed to the profession, but the profession, for whatever reason, doesn’t have a lot of influence on the world or the way that it works.

You’ll find again and again if you can slot a lot of slang into that category.

There are a few more of these, but one of the other ones that I think is most important to say is that slang, although it tends to be disrespectful or inappropriate or even crass, that is not enough alone to make it slang.

I see a lot of people who criticize language that they disagree with or that they feel is incorrect as slang, as if just because they believe it to be wrong, it must automatically be slang, and that’s simply a fallacy.

That simply is not true.

Carl Sandburg said that slang is a language that takes off its coat, spits on its hands, and gets to work.

The one I like best is I used to quote John Updike, and he wrote this quite a while back.

He described it as a protest against the king’s English.

It’s a way of saying I recognize that there is a more formal language or a more proper language to use in this situation than others, but I am choosing to make a point by using other language that maybe has different connotations that you don’t know.

So it’s rebellious then.

It is a little rebellious.

I don’t really see wonky as rebellious.

But it doesn’t have to be all of these things at once.

No, but it doesn’t.

I don’t know.

It’s a fun word to say.

It’s more picturesque than askew in my mind.

I see wonky, you know?

You know, like I have a picture of a chair that’s sort of leaning over, and the legs are leaning, you know?

Like, all the screws aren’t in there.

I don’t know.

To me, it was a silly word that I had never heard before.

I like it.

A wonky chair or a squeejawed chair.

Yeah!

Well, Sarah, I know there was a whole brainful that I dumped there, but hopefully you’ll make some sense of it.

No, thank you very much.

You’re welcome.

We’re glad to take your call.

Good luck down there now.

Galveston.

Thanks.

Okay, thanks for calling.

Bye-bye.

If you have a question about language, call us.

The number is 1-877-Wayword.

That’s 1-877-929-9673.

Or you can email us.

That address is words@waywordradio.org.

Or if you want to talk about this stuff right away, why not go to our discussion forum?

You’ll find that at waywordradio.org/discussion.

Hello, you have A Way with Words.

Hello.

Hi, who’s this?

Harrison.

And where are you calling from, Harrison?

San Diego.

Okay.

Well, what’s on your mind?

So I was reading this book by Michael Pollan called The Botany of Desire.

Oh, he’s great, isn’t he?

I really enjoyed it.

Yeah.

And I was reading about the tulip and had the obsession that the Dutch had with the tulip.

Right.

And he quotes Alexander Dumas writing about the story about a tulip.

And I know that it’s translated, but it said, “The whole of the flower was as black and shining as jet.”

And I realized this is a translation, but it started me thinking, “Jet black.”

You know, where does that word, where does jet black come from?

Because, you know, jets aren’t black.

I’ve never seen a black jet.

Jet is a kind of hard stone.

It’s related to coal.

It’s a product of the earth and of plant life that once existed on this earth.

And it’s a type of lignite.

And you can cut it up and polish it.

Huh.

Now, you know what?

I mean, I have to confess that when I was growing up, I thought it had to do with either skid marks on the runway or, you know, the stuff coming out of the back of a jet.

Oh, no, no.

It’s hundreds of years old.

I think the earliest uses we have of it, and we originally get it from old French, are 600 years old easily.

So that’s been around a long time.

Yeah.

That is older than the Dutch obsession with tulips.

Yeah.

Tulipomania.

That was a crazy time, huh?

I wasn’t there.

But it sounds, from reading his book, as though it was.

Michael’s got a particular way of writing where he can take big historical events, and Michael Pollan, that is, and kind of condense them down so that they’re comprehensible.

Because going crazy over tulip bulbs just seems so foreign to us, right?

Yeah.

Giving away all your property, your whole estate for one tulip.

I mean, you know, it’s amazing writing.

Right.

Well, thank you so much for your call, Harrison.

I hope we’ve helped.

Yeah, my pleasure.

Thank you very much.

All right.

Love your show.

Bye-bye.

If you’ve got a question about plant lore, Martha is your lady.

And if you’ve got a question about slang or new words, I am your man.

The number is 1-877-929-9673.

That’s 1-877-Wayword.

You want to talk stamens and pistols, you email us at words@waywordradio.org.

Hello, you have A Way with Words.

Hi, this is Michael Nolan calling from Carbondale, Illinois.

Hello, Michael.

How are you?

Hi, Michael.

Well, Michael, what are you calling us about today?

Well, I’m calling you about one of my pet peeves.

It’s when I’m at a nice restaurant and finishing up a meal, and a waiter or a waitress comes by and says, “Are you still working on that?”

I hate it.

Sometimes I use the short abbreviation “still working.”

How do you respond?

What do you say to them?

Well, you don’t want to be rude, so usually I just say, “No, I’m not finished.”

Or, “Yes, I’m still eating the dinner.”

But I wonder how this might ever have gotten started and what people can do to stamp it out.

Yeah, yeah.

I completely agree.

It drives me crazy.

How about you, Grant?

Oh, yeah, yeah.

They come up to me and they say, “Are you still working on it?”

And I feel like saying something like, “Well, let me remove my hard hat and wipe the sweat and don’t trip over the orange safety cones on your way out.”

I mean, I’m just working.

It’s sort of unconscious, I think, when people say things like that.

Right.

It’s a formality.

They’re a real question.

The subtext to what they’re saying is, “When are you going to leave?”

And that’s what’s kind of bothersome about that, right?

You’re taking up a table that I could put another paying customer in.

Well, do you think they’re really saying that, though, you guys?

I mean, I think they’re inquiring whether you’re ready for them to take the plate away or not.

So they should say that maybe, right?

Well, you know what I’ve heard many times also, and I don’t know if you’ve heard this, Michael, but I mean, people will come up and say instead of, “Are you still working?”

They’ll say, “Are you still enjoying that?”

Oh, that’s better.

Do you like that?

Yeah, I like that.

I think it’s— No, I got to the bad part that you kind of hit underneath the cherry, you know, whatever.

Yeah, I don’t know.

I think that sounds so contrived, like they’re actively trying not to say, “Are you still working on it?

Are you still enjoying it?”

It’s like, you know, “No, I was enjoying it.”

Yeah, exactly.

Just like you said, Grant, I don’t like it.

Maybe if they said, “Are you ready for me to take your plate?”

Yeah, what’s wrong with that?

They’re in a position where they want to be not too friendly and not too colloquial.

It’s not like your aunt feeding you dessert at the table or something, right?

There’s a kind of business relationship there that requires a certain kind of formality of the language.

I mean, I can kind of get to how this is an infective, this kind of speech, because you’ve heard many other— waiters go from restaurant to restaurant.

People tend not to stay put.

It’s spread across the culture.

I mean, you can find people moaning about this phrase in opinion columns in the newspaper as far back as 20 years, maybe even further.

Oh, really?

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

And the reason I say that is because it’s something that they say everywhere I’ve ever been.

Yeah, and I just want to say to them, “Wait, you’re the one who’s working.

I’m relaxing.”

There is one book called The Waiting Game.

It’s kind of advice and actually how to be a waiter.

And they specifically say, “Are you still working on that?”

Is wrong.

Oh, they do?

Really?

I think there’s an understanding in the business that you shouldn’t say that, but I know perfectly well how hard it is to avoid that.

One other thing that I’m seeing, there’s a book called The Cork Jester’s Guide to Wine.

And ordinarily, Jennifer Rosen, who wrote the book, writes about wine and all the things related to wine.

But in one particular column, she goes off about this.

Oh, really?

Yeah, this is from 2006.

And she said something that I like.

She said, “They fight you for your plate before you’re finished.

Are you still working on that?”

And then whip it away fast enough to serve the same steak to three different tables that night.

And that’s kind of the impression you get.

It’s called table turnover.

You want to turn over your deck or turn over your tops, as they say in the business, right?

You’ve got a two-top.

Two people can sit there.

You want to get more sets of two people every night, increases your restaurant’s overall take, and your tips, and all that stuff that a restaurant needs to survive.

So you can see why they’re pushing you out the door, but you don’t want to be pushed, right?

Right.

You’re paying for the pleasure to enjoy your meal.

Exactly.

Now, I do feel for the waiters because I think that it’s hard to find exactly the right verbiage, but I think your suggestion of just saying, “May I take that?”

Yes.

Is about as good as it gets.

Well, I know we’re going to hear about this, so thanks for raising the issue, Michael.

Well, great.

I’m glad to have had the opportunity to raise it in public.

All right.

Thank you so much for your call, Michael.

Thank you.

Bye.

Bye-bye.

Bye-bye.

Yes, we do welcome your emails and calls about this.

We’d love to hear your perspective.

And maybe something else that could be said instead of, “Are you still working on that?”

Give us a call.

The number is 1-877-929-9673, or send us an email.

The address is words@waywordradio.org.

That’s our show for this week.

If you didn’t get on the air today, don’t worry.

You can leave us a message any time, day or night.

Call 1-877-929-9673.

You can also email your questions to words@waywordradio.org or join the conversations going on right now in our discussion forum.

You’ll find them at waywordradio.org/discussion.

Stefanie Levine is our senior producer.

Our technical director and editor is Tim Felten.

Tim also engineered our theme music.

Kurt Konen produced it.

We’ve had production help this week from Michael Bagdasian.

From Studio West in San Diego, I’m Martha Barnette.

And from the Argo Network in New York City, I’m Grant Barrett, inviting you to join us next week right here on “A Way with Words.”

Salaam.

See ya.

♪♪♪