Phixophobia

Hello, you have A Way with Words.

Hi, Martha and Grant. This is Kay from Traverse City, Michigan.

Well, Kay, what’s on your mind?

Well, it’s happened again, and I can’t find a word in the English language for it.

The garage door wouldn’t work, and when the repairman came out, it worked fine.

In the past, I called a plumber to fix a leaking toilet, and when he got here, it didn’t leak.

And I’ve called a cable TV guy out about a bad reception.

When he got here, it was perfect.

And I know mothers have taken sick kids to the doctor,

And then they’re just fine when they get there.

And I wonder, is there a word for this phenomenon?

Because I’ll tell you, all I know now is that I have fixophobia.

What are you calling it, fixophobia?

Fixophobia, I guess, fear of getting anything fixed at this point.

So F-I-X-A-P-H-O-B-I-A?

Sure. We’ll put a P-H in it to make it fancy.

Yeah. Well, I know just what you’re talking about, and we do need a word for it.

You know, Martha, I’ve been on the other end of that.

When I worked in the tech support business for years and years,

I was the guy that people would call when they had computer problems,

And I can’t tell you how often I would arrive at someone’s office or desk,

And they’d be like, I don’t know what happened.

It’s all working fine now. What did you do?

You’re magic.

Did you do something in the survey room?

Did you do something remotely over the network?

I’m like, no, I just showed up.

Well, I’m glad to know other people have these problems.

Oh, absolutely, Kay, absolutely.

I might have a word for you, Kay.

It depends on how paranoid you are.

Do you tend to be paranoid?

Oh, I’m open to anything at this point.

Okay.

I’m hoping for some long, impressive-sounding word, you know,

So that I could say, oh, yeah, the repairman came out,

It was another one of those, you know, fill-in-the-blank experiences.

Gotcha.

What about Resistentialism?

Ooh.

Well, I better say that again.

What about Resistentialism?

It’s kind of a joking word, but it’s the belief that inanimate objects are hostile to humans.

Oh, now that sounds good.

And so they do things on purpose, you know, just to mess with us.

You know, like you’re writing a document and the computer eats it at the last second.

Aha, I’m beginning to believe that.

It’s a word that was coined by a humorist in the 1960s, and you will find it in the Oxford English Dictionary.

I mean, it’s kind of a joking word, and it’s sort of a combination of the Latin word race, which means thing, and resist.

So it’s the way that things resist us, you know, like that garage door opener or your toilet that’s now working.

Oh, did you pronounce that one again for me?

Resistentialism.

R-E-S-I-S-T-E-N-T-I-A-L-I-S-M.

Resistentialism.

That sounds great.

That’s just what I was looking for.

That’s a great word, Martha.

That’s a great word, and you know what?

I think you’ve cured my fixophobia.

Well, all right.

But you know, the first time you see that on a bill from a repairman,

Where he writes,

If you want to give a residentialism $45, then you’re going to regret it.

$45? You must have a cheap plumber, Grant.

Well, I hope that at least makes you feel better the next time your toilet gets better.

It certainly does.

Okay, take care of yourself, Kay.

All right.

Well, thank you, and I love your show and enjoy talking to you.

Thank you, Kay.

Bye-bye.

All right, bye-bye.

If you can’t put a name to your pain, give us a call.

We’ll try and help.

The number is 1-877-929-9673 or send us an email to words@waywordradio.org.