“High” School Quiz

You’re listening to A Way with Words. I’m Martha Barnette.

And I’m Grant Barrett. And joining us now from New York City is our quiz guide, John Chaneski. Hello, John.

Hi, Grant. Hi, Martha. How are you guys?

Hi, John. Doing well.

What’s cooking with you, man?

I think it’s never too early to start researching schools for the kinder.

So, Jenny and I have been looking at high schools for Max and Jessie. Can you believe it?

Now, wait a minute. How old are they?

Three and five.

Okay.

Now, there are arts high schools and technical high schools.

But, you know, I’ve got to say, in this age of specialization, it’s weird to see all the niche high schools out there.

For example, there’s a school out there for kids who are just interested in pumping gasoline.

It’s called – can you guess what it’s called?

Ethyl High?

No, it’s called Octane High.

Oh, okay.

You can perhaps tell me what sort of school focuses on the study of millinery?

High hat.

Hat High.

Hat High, that’s right.

They study fedoras and stuff.

And they have a heck of a band.

You should see the drummer go.

Very good.

All of these have two ways of looking at them, all these schools.

That’s why we go on the tours.

Now, here’s descriptions of a few more high schools.

Here’s the first.

There’s one high school that’s similar to Octane High, but the only thing they teach is how to change a car tire.

Wow.

Come on, Grant.

You drive a car now.

All the examples were easy.

Right.

Well, there are very few things having to do with changing a car tire.

Maybe you can think of the main one.

Oh, hijack.

Jack high.

Jack high, right.

Jack high.

Yeah, try to give it blank high for the first thing.

I think it sounds funnier.

But that’s just me.

Here’s the next one.

I’m sure you two are familiar with this high school that turns out most of the nation’s lexicographers.

I don’t know.

Gee, high.

You’d think I’d know.

This is tailored to me.

Probability high?

Your alma mater.

Really?

Well, what thing?

Let’s see.

I’ll tell you one thing about this.

How about falutin high?

Falutin high.

I’ll tell you one special thing about this school.

They have a really good A.V. Club.

What words can you think of having to do with words, especially dictionaries?

What is wrong with us, Grant?

I have no idea.

Lexicon high.

Entry high.

High gloss?

Gloss high?

No.

What do you think of when you think of dictionaries?

Gloss.

Paycheck?

Those little thumb things.

You guys got to come around the other end of the dictionary sometime and just read the thing for crying out loud.

I’m looking for definition high.

Oh, definition.

High definition.

Oh, oh.

That has to do with words?

Oh, terrible.

AV club.

High definition.

Never mind.

Okay.

Oh, my gosh.

Here, I’ve got this one.

How about the school whose core curriculum is mostly about gardening?

Yield high.

Oh, that’s good.

No, that’s pretty good, but not what I was looking for.

Gardening.

Think of tools to do with gardening.

Oh, Ho-Hi.

Ho-Hi, yes.

They have a disproportionate amount of dwarves in Ho-Hi.

I don’t know.

Very good, yes.

I immediately ruled out this one high school located in a spooky haunted mansion.

They study phantoms, ghosts, and apparitions, so we said no thanks.

Oh, I don’t know.

This is a tough one.

Phantoms, ghosts, and apparitions.

Oh, spirits high.

Spirits high, yes, very good.

Their pep rallies are amazing.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, their policies regarding alcohol are pretty lax, though.

That’s why the pep rallies are so fun.

That’s right.

Another school we rejected has only one famous graduate, Benedict Arnold.

Treason High?

Treason High, yes, very good.

Very good, nice.

Good.

I have to say, though, that I wouldn’t mind Jesse someday attending this school that teaches kids about investing and other monetary matters.

Yield high.

Oh, return high.

That’s good.

Though I would have said that that was a school about recidivists.

Okay, so high return or, I mean, return high or yield high?

No.

No?

No, much more broadly, money matters.

Finance high?

Oh, finance high.

Finance high.

Yeah.

I wouldn’t mind if Jesse attended this school.

The focus is on oceanography, specifically the changing depths of marine and estuarine and currents.

Tide high?

Tide high.

Tide high.

Very good.

Another school among the more useful ones, this school churns out future electricians.

Voltage high.

Voltage high.

Very good.

That actually might be a really good school.

Yes, exactly.

The rest of these, I don’t know, but that one, yeah.

Not so much, yeah.

But, you know, I think we’ve got a winner here.

This is a super exclusive school.

There’s only one teacher, but she’s the best in the world.

They only have two students in the whole place, and they only attend class for one day.

It seems they are not interested in quantity.

Instead, they are…

Concentration high?

Quality high?

Quality high.

Quality high, right.

I thought you were going to say homeschooling.

No.

Mom plus two kids.

They’ll be the best poet philosophers you ever met.

That’s right.

And they’ll know something about puzzles, I hope.

Though this might not be any indication of my teaching skills at Puzzles and Quizzes.

No, this was fun.

Actually, it was a good mix of stumpers and easy ones.

Good.

I’m glad you liked it.

I liked it, too.

Thanks, guys.

John, thanks for coming.

Thanks, John.

Thanks for entertaining us.

My pleasure.

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