Current-Event Limerick Quiz

You’re listening to A Way with Words. I’m Martha Barnette.

And I’m Grant Barrett, and we’re joined by our quiz guy, John Chaneski.

Hello, John.

Hi, Grant. Hi, Martha.

Hi, John.

How are you doing?

Good to be here again.

You got a quiz in your pocket?

I sure do. That’s what that is.

It’s time, once again, to look through that stack of newspapers by the front door and come up with vaguely amusing limericks that describe several headline stories from 2011.

Vaguely amusing? I love vaguely amusing.

Oh, okay, good.

I’ll begin the limerick, and you finish it. How’s that?

Okay.

Great.

Good. Here’s the first one.

Protesting these days can be quiet compared to a revolutionary riot. If you think things financial could use change that’s substantial, head down to Wall Street and just…

Occupy it.

Occupy it, yes.

Very good.

When I tested this on someone, they said, try it. I’m like, no, no, no.

Occupy it.

Here’s the next one.

A huge wedding Kardashians threw. Kris looked down and said, darling, I do. Kim met his firm gaze, said, I’ll love you all my days, but they lasted just…

72.

72.

Darn, I had 73 in the office pool.

They’re calling that a Kardashian now.

72 days is a Kardashian.

A Kardashian.

A Kardashian.

You can calculate how many Kardashians you’ve been married online.

Here’s the next one.

Our soldiers, America’s shield, kept some personal lives well concealed. For years they stood fast. They’ll stand proud at long last because…

Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell was repealed.

Yes, Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’s been repealed.

Very good.

The news of the world was sent packing. Editors’ morals were found to be lacking. Murdoch hardly was bowed through an ugly storm cloud about insidious telephone…

Hacking.

Hacking, yes.

Here’s the next.

A North African state finally flipped. The corruption there hopefully clipped. A 30-year chief brought to trial in much grief by a revolution that happened in?

Egypt.

Egypt, yes.

Here’s another, and just watch yourselves in this one, okay?

Okay.

Politicians should keep their tweets cleaner and act with a nobler demeanor. No puns you will find here, because you know in our minds we’re all thinking of?

Anthony Weiner.

Anthony Weiner, yes.

Well done, John.

Thank you, thank you.

This one, actually, I’m addressing directly to you guys, okay?

Okay.

Yeah.

As word experts, your heads must be spinning. Since an actor who’s well-known for sinning got asked from his show, but then next thing you know, there’s a new definition for…

Winning!

Means something completely different now, apparently.

Thanks to Charlie Sheen.

Okay, here’s the last one.

Today I’m just wondering what’ll become of those vehicles NASA must scuttle. Though I’m sad for the news, I really could use a late model pre-owned…

Space shuttle.

Space shuttle, yes.

Sure could find something to do with one of those.

Those are our limericks for 2011 news stories.

I hope you liked them.

In 2011, we’re allowed to use more syllables in our lyrics, right?

Yes, I shove a few extra in.

I’m sort of like Springsteen.

Want to hold a bumper, let it drag me down the street.

You could do the news limericks every week and I wouldn’t complain.

Thank you, Grant.

Thank you.

Bye-bye.

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