Biffed It

Hello, you have A Way with Words.

Hi, this is Anna calling from Dallas, Texas.

Hey, Anna, welcome.

Hi, Anna, what’s going on?

I am hoping that you guys will be able to settle a dispute that my fiancé and I have been having since just about the week after we met.

Oh, my.

Do you want a happy marriage? Then hang up now.

Well, actually, we have a bet on this. We haven’t discussed the terms of the bet yet.

Oh, wow.

You need to get that nailed down.

Yeah, I think so. I’m pretty sure I’m going to win, though.

You’re pretty sure you’re going to win.

And Anna, so the marriage is going to go through no matter what, right?

Basically, it’s not dependent on who wins this or not.

This is more of a good nature ribbing.

Okay.

And I actually have my fiancé here with me.

So after I tell you my side of the story, if you guys would like, we’ll switch over and she can tell you her side of the story, which, of course, is wrong.

Fantastic.

Let’s see how it goes.

When we first met, it was up in Chagrin Falls, Ohio, and somebody had almost fallen.

And so she was like, oh, that person almost biffed it.

And I’m like, what is biffed it?

And she’s like, it’s when somebody hits something or almost falls or something.

You say biffed it.

And I’m like, that’s not a thing.

No way.

So this has been an ongoing thing.

Okay.

And she didn’t have a cold.

She wasn’t saying missed it, but she had a cold and said, missed it.

How would you spell that?

B-I-F-S-E-D.

Oh, wow.

Okay.

All right.

So somebody bissed it.

And how did you take this?

I just looked at her incredulously and was like, that’s not a thing.

And she’s like, it is a thing.

And I’m like, you’re crazy.

All right.

So what’s your fiance’s name?

Sarah.

All right.

Put Sarah on.

Let’s talk to her.

Hello.

This is Sarah.

Hi, Sarah.

Hey, Sarah.

So you’re going to get a fair hearing here, even though she’s tried to stack the deck against you.

I hear.

What’s your take on this?

She’s incredibly confident.

My take is, well, I’ve heard it ever since I was little.

My grandma’s used it.

My aunt’s used it.

And every time we almost trip or every time I hit something else, we use the term biff or biffed it.

Like, oh, she biffed it, just like Anna has told you.

She’s been very, she’s convinced it’s not a thing.

I do actually have my term.

I have what I’m going to make her do if I win.

I’m going to make her use the phrase three times over the next three days.

Oh, my.

I think that’s…

And maybe she could work it into her wedding vows, you know?

I really biffed for her.

Hopefully she won’t have to.

Hopefully neither of us fall.

Well, fall for each other is what I’m thinking.

I biffed for her.

Yeah.

That’s nice.

What do you think?

Does that work?

Yeah.

I think that does.

I’ll take that.

Yes.

Sarah, and how are you spelling this?

I think the way it’s spelled is B-I-F-S.

S as in Sarah?

F as in Frank.

B as in boy, I.

F as in Frank.

F as in Frank.

Huh.

Because I was swearing.

It sounded like B-I-S-S as in Sarah Sarah.

Okay.

Oh, no.

This is helpful.

This is helpful.

Absolutely.

It’s making some sense to us.

Yeah.

Because Biff.

It means I win.

Well, maybe.

Maybe.

So you said your grandmother used this.

Yeah, she’s used it a lot.

She’s used it over the years.

And, you know, we played soccer growing up and we used to fall all the time.

And so that was just kind of the term around the house.

And she Biffed it or she almost Biffed it.

-huh.

-huh.

Yeah.

Well, Biff is a slang term that means to hit or punch.

Right.

That’s what I’m thinking, too.

And I think if you look in slang dictionaries, you’re going to find a variety of biffing things that about hitting the floor would fit perfectly into that.

If that makes sense.

You don’t say.

Is that right?

Is that right?

-huh.

I am hearing echoes of the future, I think.

Intimations of the future.

I’m looking to see Anna’s face right now.

It is in the Dictionary of American Regional English, and it says it’s scattered, but especially in the South and South Midlands.

Yeah, and Green’s Dictionary of Slang has an entry as well.

It says it’s U.S. Campus, which means an American college term, and to biff it is to fail an examination or to fall causing embarrassment.

And only dates it as far back as 1989, but I’m sure it’s older than that.

Oh, yeah.

So this is perfectly the definition of the term that you’re using.

To fall causing embarrassment.

That’s exactly what we’re talking about.

That’s exactly it.

So it sounds like dishes for a year, right?

Yeah, you’re going to have a dishwasher or is this manual?

The dishwashing in your home.

I think I’m definitely going to, I’m going to claim bragging rights just a little bit.

Just a little bit.

Okay.

And I want her to use the phrase, and that will make me so happy.

I think you should have her say, she biffed for you.

Yeah, can we have Anna back for a minute?

She fell really hard.

Can we have Anna back for a minute?

Because then everybody wins.

Everybody gets a ribbon.

Oh, good.

Okay, here’s Anna.

It sounds like I lost.

Anna.

Anna, great news.

She loves you so much.

Yes.

But you were wrong.

Oh, the horror.

Yeah.

Man, so I’m going to have to say this a lot tonight.

Yeah, I know, right?

You biffed it.

It can be your special word, though.

You know, it’s nice to fail early in a relationship for something safe, right?

This seals the bond.

Well, this has been a lot of fun, you all.

Thank you.

We wish you both the best.

Thanks, Anna.

Thanks, Sarah.

Thank you so much.

All right.

Bye-bye.

Bye-bye.

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