Inspired by our conversation about the language of leave-taking and the Southern expression Y’all come go home with us, Claire in Durham, North Carolina, calls to reminisce about her experience as a teenager in Mexico and the extended good-byes among friends and family there. She has fond memories of them all singing “No Me Amenaces,” which translates as “Don’t Threaten Me.” Popularized by Jose Alfredo Jimenez, this mournful breakup song addresses a lover who threatens to leave and break the singer’s heart but never quite gets around to doing so. The song goes in part te vas y te vas y te vas y te vas y te vas y no te has ido which means “you are leaving, and you are leaving, and you are leaving, and you are leaving, and you are leaving, and you are leaving, and you are leaving, and you have not left.” This is part of a complete episode.
Transcript of “And You Go And You Go And You Go…”
Hi there, you have A Way with Words.
Hi, this is Claire Stadlin from Durham, North Carolina.
Hey, Claire, welcome.
Hi, Claire, welcome to the show. What’s up?
The thing that came to my mind was you did a show, I’m not sure exactly when it was,
But it was on the topic of leave-taking.
And someone called in and shared this wonderful story about moving to the South
And hearing the expression, y’all come go home with us. And you had this whole conversation
Where you used the term leave takings. And I was just listening, like sometimes I’ll be doing my
Dishes or something while I’m listening and I just stand still. And I just like, oh, this is a great
Topic. I had never heard the term leave takings. I come from a Jewish family in New York City and
We never say goodbye. We say goodbye, but we never leave. And we say goodbye and we stand at the door
And we just keep talking and talking.
And so when I was a teenager, I spent a lot of time in Mexico.
My dad and my uncle had a home there.
And so my sister, my cousin and I, we made a lot of local friends
And we had some boyfriends and we just had a lot of fun.
And when it was time for everybody to separate in the evenings,
We never wanted to part.
And so we would say goodbye and then never leave.
They found it so funny, and they shared with us a popular song that spoke to, it wasn’t really about that, but it completely spoke to it.
And the song goes like this.
And the song basically means, why do you go and go and you go and you go and still you haven’t gone?
And here I am waiting for you to leave me, waiting for you to leave me, waiting to forget you.
So that’s how your family says goodbye.
That’s what you’re telling us?
That’s what they told us, that we were exactly what that song was saying.
Oh, that’s so perfect.
Yeah, I think it was originally done by Jose Alfredo Jimenez.
Yeah, that’s right.
And his then wife, Alicia Juarez, who died just a few years ago.
He died tragically young in the 1970s, but it was huge.
He had so many hits, but it’s an incredibly long song.
I can just hear the guitars, you know.
Yeah, me too.
Yeah.
I can’t believe you know this stuff.
This is why I love your show so much.
I don’t know what year it was, though, but that’s got to be a while back because if he died in the 1970s, that would have to be, what, late 60s, early 70s, something like that?
Well, you know, it could have been popularized before we were there, but we were there like in the late 70s.
You know, like 70, 80.
Yeah, but the thing is about Jose Alfredo Jimenez, he is huge and still huge.
He’s kind of legendary.
I don’t know if Sinatra level, but big time.
So some of his songs are such classics that you still play them at birthday parties and quinceañeras and baptisms and weddings and stuff like that.
They’re just like the songs that you expect to hear.
Yeah, this song is so sad, isn’t it?
It’s so cool.
It is.
It’s a very sad song.
It’s really sad because the other person has chosen to go look for a new life.
Right.
But they just won’t let you go.
They won’t leave.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It’s very sad.
It’s not at all like the belief-taking concept, but it completely fit with the idea of why do you go and you go and you go and you go and you never go.
You don’t really give me a chance to get over you.
Thank you, Claire. That’s lovely. All the memories attached to this song, that it’s just a perfect connection. Thank you so much.
Oh, my goodness. We don’t want you to go.
I don’t want to go. And that’s just it. I will never hang up if I don’t have to.
You know, we’ve talked about this on the show before, but we have a term for people who don’t want to hang up. We call them doorknobbers.
Okay, well, I am a therapist, and in my field, we call doorknob therapy when someone’s walking out the door and they, like, drop a big bomb at the end of the session.
Yes.
Oh, perfect.
Been there, done that.
That’s hilarious.
You call that doorknob therapy?
That is terrific.
That’s doorknob therapy.
Right, right.
And they’ve already used their 50 minutes and just one more thing as I’m going out the door.
Yeah, the Columbo moment.
One more thing.
Oh, Claire, you are a delight.
Thank you so much for having me on this call.
You have energized us for another day.
Thank you.
Same here.
Hasta luego.
Bye-bye.
Gracias.
Bye.
Hasta.
Hasta luego.
Ciao, ciao.
Well, we know that Claire isn’t the only one who can sing.
If you’ve been reminded of a song, sing it into our voicemail.
Maybe we’ll put you on the air, too.
Language and music are closely related, and we know that you’ve got something to say.
