Greg Pliska presents a groaner of a quiz about world capitals. Let’s just put it this way: the number of puns in this quiz will be Dublin exponentially. This is part of a complete episode.
Transcript of “World Capital Puns in a Geography Quiz”
You’re listening to A Way with Words. I’m Grant Barrett.
And I’m Martha Barnette, and we’re joined once again by our very own quiz guy, Greg Pliska.
Greg, how are you doing?
I’m doing great, Martha. Thank you for having me once again.
Well, hello, Greg. What do you got for us today?
I have got a puzzle, of course, Grant.
No.
Really?
Yes, indeed.
Where’s the money you promised?
No, I give you the money after you get the puzzle.
Oh, right.
Those pennies sure do come in handy.
Yeah, they do.
Pennies from heaven.
This puzzle is actually based upon an earlier puzzle we did.
Of all the puzzles we’ve done together, the one that’s gotten the most fan mail has been a puzzle called State State Capitals.
Well, I’ve decided to broaden our horizons today with a puzzle called A Whirl of World Capitals.
Oh, my.
Or we might say we’re Havana Dily of a time.
Oh, no.
Havana, Cuba, and, of course, Dily, the capital of East Timor.
Oh.
Once again, I’ll read you a sentence with a blank in it, and your job is to complete the sentence with the name of a world capital.
And remember, spelling is not important.
What’s important is the sound of the word, and in some cases, you can be liberal with your pronunciation.
So let’s try an example.
Here’s the sentence.
These puzzles are twice as hard as the previous ones.
Why must you keep blank the difficulty?
Compounding.
No.
Yes, the new capital of Burma, compounding.
Oh, no, Grant, I think we’re in trouble.
So is it something that begins with two?
No, you’re on the right track, though.
Twice as hard is your clue there.
If you’re going to make something.
Oh, I know.
Oh, I heard the light bulb go off.
Dublin.
Dublin.
Why must you keep doubling the difficulty?
That’s very good.
That’s awful, but great.
How does that work out?
That’s funny.
So if you’re ready.
It’s like acne. It means you’re a teenager, but yet you’ve got the acne.
Right. What are you trying to say about Dublin?
No, nothing. Nothing at all. Some of my best white nights were spitting Dublin.
Okay. Are you ready to give it a whirl?
Yes.
All right. Here we go.
Because mom wanted an expensive blank, went shopping at Louis Vuitton.
Because mom wanted an expensive blank, went shopping at Louis Vuitton.
I have it.
Oh, the light bulbs are going off out there again.
You want to venture a guess, Grant?
Oh, we wouldn’t.
It’s ganging up on Grant.
Hello, two-on-one.
Wait, what do the rules say?
It’s not written in the rules.
It doesn’t say that.
I don’t know.
Moskva.
Purse.
I have no idea.
Synonym for purse would be?
Handbag.
Bag.
Good, good.
Sack.
No, no.
Bag.
Hand.
Bag.
Bag.
Bag.
Bag.
Oh, Baghdad.
No.
Way to go.
Is it?
Because mom wanted an expensive bag, dad went shopping at Louis Vuitton.
Right.
World Capitals.
Good work, Grant.
All right.
Here’s another one.
I’ve heard of that.
Dorothy certainly didn’t rank getting out of blank on her wish list.
I was going to say Oz High.
I think you’re on the right track.
Dorothy.
Osmandias.
No.
Dorothy didn’t rank getting out of blank on her wish list.
Oz low.
Oz low.
Oz didn’t rank Oz low on her wish list.
Dorothy certainly didn’t rank getting out of Oz low on her wish list.
How about another?
Here’s another.
From Conrad Hilton through Larry Fortensky, just how many times has blank married?
Liz Boa?
Lisbon.
Don’t go for the obvious capital city.
Go for a more obscure city or a different pronunciation of it.
So it’s not Paris?
No, not that.
Lisbon.
Yes, Lisbon.
How many times Lis-bon, you got to just like, blah, a vowel.
You got to step all over the shore.
Lisbon.
From Conrad Hilton through Larry Fortensky, just how many times has Lis been married?
Lisbon, Lisbon.
Hilton threw Fortensky just how many times?
She was married to Hilton?
Conrad Hilton was her first time.
I didn’t either.
Yeah.
Wow.
How many times has Liz been married?
All right, here’s a good one.
You’ll get this one right away.
Oh, right.
I bet.
Yeah, sure.
To us, it looks like a whole line of X’s, but to a Greek, it’s a blank.
What?
A line of X’s?
Are we talking about Elizabeth Taylor again?
Nice.
That’s very good.
Yeah, Lisbon is the answer once again.
Wait, is it?
A line of X’s.
So an X to a Greek is what?
An X.
Key.
No.
Key.
Or pronounced.
Key.
Oh, key.
Right.
To a whole line of X’s.
It looks like a whole line of X’s, a line of X’s to us.
But to a Greek, it’s a.
Key, key, key, key, key, key.
Yep.
So now you just need a capital city.
That starts with the syllable chi.
Somewhere in the Middle East.
No.
Cairo.
Cairo.
Oh, Cairo.
No.
Cairo.
You know, I feel my skin thickening with the…
It’s my natural defense against puns.
This is nothing but puns.
We got puns for days.
My claws are growing out, too.
Holy moly.
I’m turning in.
Some people have a full moon when they turn, but I need puns before I just become an animal.
Wow, Greg, I don’t even know what to say, but thank you very much.
Splendid.
No, it was good.
All teasing aside, that was a huge amount of work for all three of us, I think.
You both have such type A personalities.
Got it?
Type A.
Oh, man.
Come on, Grant.
Come up with one.
I’ll cobble together another batch of these next time.
Oh, stop.
Stop.
I’ll make those triply difficult.
Wow.
Well, if you think you can vex our brains even better than Greg Pliska, give us a call.
The number is 1-877-929-9673.
