Why Would You Ever Tell Anyone About Having Their Cake and Eating It Too?

Hello, you have A Way with Words.

Hello, so glad to be here.

My name is Pearlene Jeffrey.

I’m from Fort Worth, Texas.

I have a question for you, and I know that you guys are the ones that can answer it.

Ever since I was a young girl, my family has always said to me,

You’re trying to have your cake and eat it too,

Or oh, you want to have your cake and eat it too.

And I grew up in a time when children couldn’t talk back,

But in the back of my head I was like what is the point of having cake if you can’t eat it too

And I’m like yeah yeah I do I want to have my cake and eat it too but I kind of get it that

Because every time they said it to me it was when I was just doing a lot of stuff because I was always

Really really active but at the same time now that I’m older it’s like come back to me and I’m like

Am I trying to have my cake and eat it too and I’m still asking to myself yeah and then I said

Who thought of that?

That is such a stupid saying.

It’s got to be wrong.

So I’m calling you guys for you to set the record straight on this.

I just want to know.

I’m with you.

What’s the point of cake?

I mean, you might as well have the fake cakes in the pastry window,

The ones that are styrofoam decorated with cement or whatever.

These are pictures of cakes that I like.

No, I want a cake.

Instead of wallet-sized photos of your children

And wallet-sized photos of all the cakes you’ve loved.

I love this image, Perlene, of you hearing what the adult said

And knowing that you can’t talk back but thinking, boy, that’s a really stupid saying.

I thought a lot came out on the day you turned 18.

You’re like, okay, now I can say it all.

Right?

No, it didn’t work that way in my house.

Mine neither.

So, Grant, this expression, you can’t have your cake and eat it too.

I mean, it is a confusing expression if you break it down.

I mean, I think we know what it means, you know, that you can’t have it both ways.

I mean, I think part of the problem is that verb to have.

Because have can mean to be in possession.

But it can also mean, you know, I’m having cake.

I’m sitting here at the table with Perlene and Perlene and I are having cake.

You’re eating it.

Yeah, it means two different things, right?

Yeah, and probably one thing that we can say about this expression is that it is hundreds and hundreds of years old.

I mean, it makes sense that it was before you could just take a picture of your cake and put it on Facebook or whatever, and then you still sort of have it, right?

Okay, so it’s probably like when cake was like a really, really rare thing.

Well, yeah, that’s a good point because some of the really early uses of this expression may have just referred to small pieces of bread or, you know, like oat cakes or something like that.

But, yeah, there’s also that special element of the kind of cake that probably you and I enjoy.

What’s your favorite?

I don’t have a favorite cake, but there’s only one cake that I actually dislike, and that’s red velvet.

What?

Every other cake.

Yeah.

To me, red velvet is a useless cake.

I’m sorry.

What’s the point?

Just get some really good chocolate cake and just spare the red dye.

What is the point of red velvet cake?

How about a German chocolate cake with coconut icing?

That’s my favorite right there.

Okay.

My favorite is carrot cake with cream cheese icing.

How about that one, Perlene?

Can we compromise on that one?

Okay.

Yeah, okay.

We can compromise on that one.

Well, Perlene, we are—

The cream cheese icing is delicious.

We love your energy.

We appreciate your clever thinking on this issue.

And we agree it’s confusing.

But, you know, like all idioms, you’ve got to take it as a whole.

Don’t try to break it down to its parts.

It’s like just treat it as one big blob of meaning.

And that big blob of meaning is you can’t have it both ways.

Just go forward and enjoy your cake in peace.

A big piece.

A big piece.

I shall.

Maybe another one later.

Maybe now people will do away with that thing.

Get something totally different.

Perlene’s Law.

We’re going to have them name it.

It’s going to be in all the Perlene’s Law.

I don’t care how hundreds of years old, it’s time to do away with that.

Because, yeah, don’t serve me cake if I can’t eat it.

Thank you so much.

Oh, that’s wonderful.

You take care now, right?

I really enjoyed being on with you guys.

Thank you.

Bye-bye.

Thanks, Fraleen.

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