We Cook Off Our Potatoes (minicast)

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Welcome to another minicast from A Way with Words. I’m Grant Barrett.

The call I’m going to play for you now was part of our pledge show this year. Ron called us from eastern Tennessee to ask what could possibly be meant by a sign at a cafe that says, we cook off our potatoes. Is it a good thing? A bad thing? What could it possibly mean? Well, I’ve got a question about something that’s been bothering me for some time now.

A few years ago, I was passing through Minneapolis on a very foggy night, and I had to get off the interstate because the fog was so bad. So I pulled into a truck stop. I went in to get something to, and on the menu it said, we cook off our potatoes.

And I sat there looking at the menu, but I couldn’t figure out what they were trying to tell, what they were trying to say. You know, were they saying that they pre-cook their potatoes? Do they reheat their potatoes? Are their potatoes so hot that they’re able to cook off them like charcoal? I mean, nothing made any sense.

And I realized that a cook-off is a competition, like a chili cook-off, just like a bake-off is a baking competition. But I sat there wondering, are they trying to tell me that they enter their potatoes in contests? You know, I’m thinking, how hard can it be to cook a potato? And, you know, shouldn’t they just say, try our prize-winning potatoes?

So I called the waitress over and I said, what do you mean you cook off your potatoes? And she stood there, she looked at me, and she said, we cook off our potatoes. I said, well, I know that, but what does it mean? And she just looked at me like, well, I can’t make it any simpler than that. And she walked away.

So, you know, I was left with the feeling that I was asking way too many questions, so I ended up just ordering the oatmeal. But I’ve asked people that question since this happened a few years ago, and everybody’s like, well, I don’t know what that means, what they’re trying to say. Do you have a clue there?

Ron, I can’t believe you didn’t order the potatoes so you could see. I didn’t want to take any chances. Okay. I have a couple clues for you, but not a definitive answer.

Okay. If you Google around on this, especially in Google Books or other places where books are archived online, and look for variations on this phrase, you’ll find a number of recipes and a number of cooking guides that will use this term. They also don’t explain what it means. It’s not in the glossary in the back. They don’t ever say, but cooking off, what do you mean? They don’t ever do that.

But judging from the context, as far as I can tell, it simply means that they cook them all the way through. They finish them. So they don’t partially cook them and then cook them later. So I think you said something earlier they think is right on the money. They cook them, let’s say overnight or at the beginning of the day or whatever, and then they use them throughout the day to spoon them over onto your plate.

So what you’re going to get is a potato that’s probably very mushy, probably very waterlogged. It was not done on the spot. It wasn’t something they did right after you ordered. And so you’re going to get this soupy potato, which a lot of people like. You throw a little cilantro in there, maybe a little onion and pepper, and it’s very good. But I think that’s what we’re talking about here, all right?

You’ll also find other vegetables sometimes described as being cooked off in the same way. Now, one of my ideas that I have even less evidence for is that sometimes it might mean that they cook off all the water. But all I think that is is a recipe for burnt potatoes, so I’m not quite sure that’s it either.

In any case, it doesn’t sound very appetizing. I think I made the right choice picking the oatmeal. Seriously, if you’re cooking off your potatoes and putting a sign up about it, it better be really great. It better be like gold flakes on top of your potato, right?

Yeah, I’m like, you know, I didn’t know if they were bragging or if it was a warning. Yeah, there wasn’t a red circle with a red slash to it, was there? No. No, but, you know, it was so foggy outside, and then when I went into this truck stop, it was really like I had stepped into the twilight zone.

What’s the name of this place? I’m headed out. We’re going to find out what these cooked potatoes are. Yeah, field trip, road trip. I don’t know. I never stopped there before that, and I’ve never stopped there since. It was just kind of a place like an oasis in the fog. It was very strange.

Wait a minute. This is starting to sound like an urban legend or something. And did a man with a hook come after you? It was just really weird. And then on the menu it said bagels, a dollar, with cream cheese, a dollar fifty extra. And I said to the waitress, I said, you mean it’s a dollar fifty with cream cheese? She said, no, it’s $1.50 extra.

I said, you’re charging $1.50 just for the cream cheese? And she said, do you have any idea how much cream cheese costs? I said, yes, I do. That’s why I’m surprised you’d be charging that much. So it’s very strange.

Yeah, but they’re in Minnesota. You can’t get good bagels outside New York City anyway, so why try? I guess. Well, Ron, I hope we’ve helped you just a little bit. You have eased my mind on this question that’s been bothering me for the past few years.

We can be good listeners. Ron, if you ever find that cafe, send it along. I’m going to try it out. Yeah. I will do that. Thank you so much for giving us a ring. Thanks, Ron. This was a hit. Great. Bye-bye.

I do recommend that recipe for potato soup, by the way. Sliced and boiled potatoes, a little bouillon, salt and pepper, and then when the potatoes are almost done, throw in a whole sliced white onion and two handfuls of chopped cilantro. Yum.

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For A Way with Words, I’m Grant Barrett in New York City. Support for A Way with Words comes from National Geographic Books, publisher of I’m Not Hanging Noodles From Your Ears, a collection of intriguing idioms from around the world by Jag Bala. Learn more at shopng.com slash noodles.

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And thanks.