What do you call a gift that turns into a hassle, like a gift card for a store not in your area, or one with a pressing expiration date? A New York caller suggests the term gaft. Another possibility is white elephant, a term derived from the story of a king in ancient Siam, who punished unruly subjects with the gift of a rare white elephant. The recipient couldn’t possibly refuse the present but the elephant’s upkeep became extremely costly. This is part of a complete episode.
Transcript of “Unwelcome Gifts”
Hello, you have A Way with Words.
Hi, this is Brianna calling from New York, New York.
New York, New York. The city’s so nice they named it twice. Welcome to the show, Brianna.
Well, I have a number of questions, but the one I want to ask today is, I’m looking for a word that I don’t think exists, and so I’m wondering if you all could help me out.
I’m looking for a word to describe when a gift is not a gift. So, for example, my partner’s parents, in effort to be generous, were going to fly her home across, fly her to see them across the country and use their frequent flyer miles.
And if you know anything about trying to cash in on frequent flyer miles, you don’t have a lot of control on how to get to where you want to be. So what could be a fairly direct five-hour trip turned into an all-day circuitous trip throughout the country.
And so while it was a gift, it ended up being quite inconvenient. So that inspired some thinking. That was one type of inconvenient gift.
Others that we’ve come up with has been when somebody gives you something that has a specific time limit on it so you feel a pressure to use it or when they get you something like a gift card or such that should be used on something specifically like where they dictate how it should be used.
I feel that way about all gift cards frankly because they buy them for a particular store and you have to go all the way across town.
Right, right. And a lot of times they don’t even know if I have that store in my town, you know?
Good point. Good point.
Oh, this is interesting. Well, when you first said that the gift that was burdensome, the first thing I thought of was white elephant. You know the story of the white elephant? Why we use that term?
I don’t know why we use that term.
Well, in ancient Siam, the king of Siam, whenever he wanted to burden somebody or annoy them or punish them, he would give them the present of a beautiful white elephant. They were very rare and considered holy.
And it would be this gift that would actually be a kind of curse because the upkeep would be awful. And that’s where we get the term white elephant because you’re stuck with it. And, you know, thanks a lot.
So I thought white elephant, but then I like this whole larger category of an inconvenient gift. You know, a gift, not a gift with benefits, but a gift with…
Obligations.
Yeah.
Yeah.
We can make a portmanteau. How about something that’s a blessing and a curse? Maybe call it a blurs?
That sounds like some kind of blouse purse.
How about a clessing?
Oh, yes. Your parents gave your partner a clessing.
Yes.
Or a blurs.
Well, I had thought of a few that I’m not sure if they’re really going to take off.
Okay.
So I thought instead of a gift, it’s a gaffed.
I like that.
Gaffed.
And the other one, this is really dependent on inflection. I thought, well, the word resent is already in the word present. So maybe if we could just pronounce present like a present or a present.
Or a p-resent.
I kind of like p-resent.
A p-resent.
A p-resent.
Yeah, I like the p-resent.
And they tried to come up with an inconvenience gift. You put a lot of thought into this.
Yeah.
Holy moly. I didn’t want to be ill-prepared.
Of course.
Of course.
Oh, those are all really good. It’s certainly something that deserves a term. I like gaffed. I think that’s the best one that you’ve got there.
It’s easy to say. I think it’s transparent, gaff plus gift. It occurs to me that the German word gift, G-I-F-T, means poison.
Oh, I’m German. But white elephant, that’s a great story. It’s a gift that’s not quite a gift. It’s got obligations and strings and burdens and clauses attached.
Yeah, it keeps on giving, and you’re going to keep on shoveling. And it’s not really a gift horse either, right?
No, it’s a gift elephant. Brianna, you have set our brains to working here.
Great. Thank you so much for having me on the show.
Our pleasure. Brianna, it was wonderful to talk to you.
Oh, thank you so much, and thank you for all of the gifts, not gaff, that you give us.
Oh, well, our pleasure, of course. We have a ball.
All right, thank you.
Bye-bye.
Thanks, bye-bye.
What would you call a gift that you were given that’s not quite as great as it should be? It’s got obligations or it costs more than you thought it should or it makes you kind of inconveniences you in an extraordinary way where you can’t get rid of the gift. You have to use it.
I want to know what those gifts are, too. I think there are probably some really good stories there. Send it all to words@waywordradio.org or tell us about it on the telephone, 877-929-9673.
