The parent of a highschooler in Madison, Wisconsin, says that at the beginning of each semester, when her daughter’s classmates introduce themselves and their preferred pronouns, gender-neutral students often say their pronouns are they and their. Linguist Denis Baron has compiled an extensive list of other epicene pronouns. WHen they and their are applied to an individual, it’s best to use a plural verb. This is part of a complete episode.
Transcript of “Singular “They” and “Their” Take a Plural Verb”
Hello, you have A Way with Words.
Hi, this is Jane calling from Madison, Wisconsin.
Hi, Jane. Welcome to the show.
Thank you.
At my daughter’s high school, at the beginning of each semester, the kids introduce themselves and they state their preferred pronouns. And for kids who are gender neutral, they use the pronouns they, them, and theirs. And I have a couple of questions around that.
First of all, have we come up with any other pronoun that folks who are gender neutral are using instead of the plural? And if we haven’t, do we ever use the plural in a singular way?
Well, there are lots and lots of those pronouns floating around. Some people use ze and zeer for that.
Instead of they and their, right?
Yeah, and there are long lists of pronouns that have been tried out and used. But I think it’s wonderful that they have this practice of asking people what their preferred pronouns are.
Yeah, it’s very common in our community, and I think it’s great, too. I appreciate it.
Yeah, and so what do they say in terms of the verb that they use with that pronoun?
I don’t know. It surfaced at a New Year’s party that I was at this year, and I got in conversation with a friend the next day. I said, you know, do we ever hear the term they is coming to the party? And I don’t think that we ever mix those two things, what feels like a plural with a singular.
Yeah, and I’ve heard people complain about that. They sort of tie themselves in knots about whether it should be a singular or a plural.
Right, so if they is used to refer to a single known individual, why wouldn’t you use the singular conjugation of the verb?
Right.
But the truth is the pronoun’s the God, right?
Right. It is always they are, even if they is known to be one person.
All right. That’s good to know. I look forward to learning those other pronouns that seem like it would make much more sense than trying to use they, them, and theirs.
Part of it is, Jane, that there’s this barrier to entry, if I can borrow a term from the business world, which is the more you’re asking people to change at any given one time, the less likely it is for the change to take place. So this is why a lot of these other proposed non-binary pronouns or gender neutral pronouns have not stuck because you not only had to teach them the word and how to say it, but you had to incorporate into the already existing body of English.
Whereas they has a long history of being used as a singular pronoun when the gender of a person isn’t known. For example, you might say a customer said they were looking for a stepladder, right? We used they even when we know that it was a single customer. And so we already have this tradition of they as a singular.
We have this tradition of already using it with a plural verb no matter what, no matter whether they was singular or plural. And so it’s far easier to now introduce this next step of allowing people to make a choice and say, I want to be they even though you think of me of having a specific gender. You think you see a gender in me.
Thanks. I think that’s a great explanation. I’m wondering, I know that some of the formal writing, like in journalism and in newspapers, I feel like there’s still kind of a struggle there for them. Do you think that’s true?
I do. Yes. Many of the style guides haven’t caught up, and print is by nature conservative with a lowercase c, which is it persists in the old traditions and ways long after the spoken language has already changed and moved on.
Well, I suppose they avoid trends that way. They’re waiting for something to stick for the long term.
That’s right. Exactly. They’re waiting for something to stick.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Jane, thank you for your call. We really appreciate it.
Oh, you’re welcome. Thank you. Take care.
Bye-bye.
Bye-bye.
Bye-bye.
If you’re looking for a master list of these pronouns that have been proposed to be genderless, look for the word epicene, E-P-I-C-E-N-E, epicene. Just look up epicene pronouns. And I believe Dennis Barron, who goes by Dr. Language, has a master list of these. And there’s a lot of them. And you’ve heard of almost none of them because most of them don’t stick.
