Salma

Hello, you have A Way with Words.

Hi, how are you doing? My name is Matt Brunker. I’m from Grapevine, Texas.

Oh, welcome to the show, Matt. How are you doing?

Hi, Matt.

Doing all right. How are you all doing?

All right. What can we help you with?

I wrote in a couple weeks back to share a story about a word that my wife and I, when we started dating, had made up to fulfill a certain conversational need.

We would find that oftentimes when we’re telling one another about our past or anything that was bad, or even on days when someone just had a headache or something, one of us would say, well, I’m sorry, and we never knew really what to respond with.

We both felt that trying to respond with, well, that’s okay, when sometimes it wasn’t okay, or it’s not your fault, and clearly it wasn’t the other person’s fault, never quite sufficed.

So we tried to think of a word that sounded sympathetic, and so one day I suggested we say the word Salma, S-A-L-M-A.

And ever since then, I normally come home from spending a hectic work day or whatnot, come home, and I tell her about it, and she says, Salma, baby.

And it’s kind of filled that little void for us for not knowing exactly what to say, but trying to show some sort of sympathy and or empathy to the other person.

Matt, how did you come up with Salma?

I guess mostly, completely, only because it just sounded like a soft sound.

It sounded soothing or something that you would say to a crying child or something.

It sounded lyrical almost.

Nice.

Nice.

So that word just came to you, huh?

I mean, it’s sort of like a verbal one-armed hug or something.

Right.

Exactly.

Maybe.

Exactly.

It kind of has echoes of Saul good or Saul right.

Kind of like that.

Salma.

So instead of saying you’re sorry when somebody’s had a rough day or a rough time, you just say Salma instead.

Yeah.

Yeah, that’s correct.

Or is it the response to sorry? Like, you’ve had a rough day. I’m saying, oh, I’m sorry. And then you say, Salma. Is that what’s happening?

Yes.

That’s where it originated.

Sometimes it jumps in earlier now because that’s clearly the progression of the conversation.

Right, right.

It perturbed us that there was never a good way to say, you know, without saying, I thank you for your sympathy.

It sounded too, you know, too starched.

And so we looked for something a little bit more conversational to put in there.

But nowadays, sometimes we just jump the gun and we know that that’s where the conversation is going.

The bomb becomes out sooner.

Yeah, Matt, what I like about it is it sounds like it’s the language of connection.

It sounds like shorthand for lovers or people who are on the same team.

It’s like you don’t have to say anything more than just that.

Right.

Like we’re in this together, even though maybe it’s not fixable.

Exactly.

And it does come in handy sometimes when there are quarrels.

Oh, really?

Your own secret.

Not so much secret anymore, if I’m sharing it with you, but having your own homegrown terminology to put in there.

-huh.

Yeah.

Well, that’s really sweet.

I think so, too.

Well, we’re glad you shared that with us.

I bet we’re going to hear a lot more of that from our listeners.

That’d be great.

Thanks, Matt.

Appreciate it.

Thank you.

All right.

Bye-bye.

Take care.

I do like that shorthand communication.

It reminds me of my favorite shorthand communication, which is in volleyball, when you are going to take the ball, you say, I go.

Because it’s so perfect.

It’s exactly what needs to be said.

It’s no more than what needs to be said.

And it tells everyone else on the court exactly what’s going to happen.

I am going to get this ball.

I go.

I go.

Sometimes it’s me go.

I go.

I go.

Yeah.

I go.

I go.

Huh.

I have never heard that.

Really?

Yeah, and I wonder if some of it is the distinctiveness of that sound.

You’re not going to confuse it with any other term.

Yeah, you’re not going to say you get it or your turn or I can’t reach it.

If you can’t get it, you say nothing.

Yeah, that’s interesting.

And I guess volleyball players have a relationship.

I mean, I love the whole notion that he was raising of the kind of language that develops when you’re on planet us.

Right.

Just between two people.

That’s all that’s required is whatever they understand between them, right?

Exactly.

Yeah.

Well, it’s a good one, Matt.

Thanks for sharing that.

And we’d love to hear all of your stories about language.

So call us, 877-929-9673, or send them an email to words@waywordradio.org.