A Barn for Barnette, a Bar for Barrett, and Quiz for You

You’re listening to A Way with Words, the show about language and how we use it.

I’m Martha Barnette.

I’m Grant Barrett, and marching in the door in his seven league boots, it’s our quiz guy, John Chaneski.

Hi, John.

Hello, everybody. Please make way I take large steps.

You know, right now I’m in the middle of buying presents for people, you know, and when I’m searching for a gift for a friend or family member, I really like to get them something that means something special to that person. And of course, nothing is more special to someone than their own name.

Now, I’m not talking about monogrammed items. I’m talking about getting an almanac for Al or some patchouli for Pat. I’ll describe some items I found, and you tell me to whom I should gift them. What do you think?

Okay, yeah, I think I get this. Giving is good. Give. Okay. All right, here we go.

My nephew fancies himself quite the pool shark, but his felt on the old thing he’s got is getting worn. I should shell out some big bucks for a new one.

Straight to the hard ones.

Yeah.

So the felt on…

His billiard table?

Yes, my nephew Bill.

There we go. Bill is going to get a billiard table.

I didn’t know if they called him Snooki.

Not when anybody else is around, but yeah, in private we call him Snooki.

Is it too obvious that I just stopped by Tim Hortons on my way to my brother’s house and picked up a dozen glaze and a dozen Boston cream?

Is his last name Joe?

No, but his first name is…

Don.

Do you win?

That works.

Donut?

It works.

Well, you know, they’re twins. Doug and Don.

Oh, nice. So two sprints of donut get two names. Very good.

Oh, Doug. A dozen for Doug and a dozen for Don.

Sure.

Now, my auntie is a tea connoisseur and a Russophile to boot. So I traveled to Moscow to get her an expensive teapot.

You got her a Samovar because her name is Sam.

My auntie Sam, my auntie Samantha, we got her a Samovar.

Now, my grandson isn’t in all that supernatural stuff. He’s the only one I got an experience for. I rented a medium to contact him to the spirit world.

Wow.

Oh, his name is Sean.

It was a seance.

Yes, his name is Sean. I got him a seance.

Maybe he went by Claire.

Yeah, Claire Vongant.

There we go. Pretty good.

My butler got a present for my butler. He’s always late. I don’t even know why I keep him around. Maybe he’ll be more punctual when I’ve given him his Boxing Day gift.

His Boxing Day gift.

Your butler.

Not a watch.

More general than a watch.

Is his name Tim?

Is it Timepiece?

Yes, I got Tim a Timepiece. Hopefully he’ll show up.

I was thinking that he had a criminal past and you got him a scarf.

His name is Scar.

Scarface.

I know Scarf will keep him more punctual, but yeah, maybe whatever, sure.

And then I have to have him wrap all the other presents. So, you know, yeah, I want my butler to get here right away.

John, thanks so much. Watch where you step with those seven-league boots.

Boom, boom, boom, boom. Here I go.

All right, bye-bye.

Take care now. Good night.

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