A Lawrenceville, Georgia, woman wonders: If chalkboards go the way of the buggy whip, what simile will replace the expression “nails on a chalkboard”? This is part of a complete episode.
Transcript of “Nails on a Chalkboard”
Hello, you have A Way with Words.
Hi.
Hi, who’s this?
This is Carol.
Hi, Carol. Welcome to the program.
Thank you.
Where are you calling?
I’m calling from Lawrenceville, Georgia.
What can we do for you?
Well, I was watching, I was kind of channel surfing a couple weekends ago, and I came across one of the old Pink Panther movies with Peter Sellers.
And there was a scene where the maniacal supervisor, the one that he drives crazy, I can’t think of what his name is.
He’s torturing the scientist’s beautiful daughter.
And you can see her sitting there. She’s all tied up on a chair.
And what he does is he drags some metallic fingernails down a blackboard.
Yeah.
And then I’m watching another program a couple of days later, and it takes place in a classroom, but they don’t have blackboards or chalkboards.
They have whiteboards.
My question is, you know, will that shuddering image that you get when you think about fingernails on a blackboard, will that kind of just go by the wayside, or will there be something else that takes its place?
Interesting question.
Yeah, we grew up with blackboards, and there’s nothing worse, right?
No.
I mean, all you have to do is say it to somebody, and they shudder.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You can get the sensation.
Yeah.
So you’re saying if we don’t have chalkboards or blackboards, then what will people say when they want to evoke the idea that something is really unsettling and kind of makes your skin crawl and the hair is going up in the back of your neck?
Well, for me, it would just be irregardless. Hopefully that won’t be a problem.
Well, I want to argue with your basic premise, Carol, but I think it’s a great question. And here’s why.
As I understand it from my friends who are teachers in grade school, is that even though whiteboards are far more common, they still rely on chalk because it’s the least messy thing that they can use.
Whiteboards, even with erasable markers, are really messy.
And you soon end up with a bunch of little people with red splotches and speckles all over their hands and their clothes and their faces and stuff.
Again, even though it’s washable, it still takes some time.
And chalk, on the other hand, you just brush it and you walk away.
You’ve never been an eraser clapper then, Grant.
Yeah.
I was an eraser clapper for sure.
You were probably a hall monitor too and a snitch.
I know your type.
I was always in a razor clapper.
That was an honor.
You’re like Hermione Granger.
I am Hermione Granger with chalk all over me.
Absolutely.
A note monitor, right?
So at least we can hope that until they start using whiteboards at a later date.
The younger kids do know what a blackboard or a chalkboard is.
I’m pretty sure.
I mean, my son’s preschool has tons of this stuff.
I’ve seen it in other preschools and daycares and a variety of other places at least the youngest age.
And even on some of my son’s television shows, he watches a lot of PBS stuff, they use blackboards and chalkboards in the classrooms that they show in like the live action sequences.
Well, and what about Glenn Beck? I mean, think about Glenn Beck. He’s always up there with a blackboard.
And, you know, maybe the expression will evolve into that sounds like Glenn Beck on a chalkboard.
There you go.
But if we were to come up with something that sounded kind of like, you know, to describe that kind of creepy feeling that you get when somebody scrapes their fingernails down a blackboard, what would it be?
I don’t know.
Water dripping in a pail.
I don’t know.
The sound of Lady Gaga on a broken iPod.
I don’t know what it would be.
Something like that.
How about brakes on a train?
No, that sounds too much like brakes on a plane.
You know, like a phonograph needle on a record.
Well, they’re not going to know what that is.
They’re not going to know what that sound is either.
No, no.
And I suspect you’re right that we’re evolving away from the blackboard.
I mean, it may be that the term stays and it just becomes one of those things, like some other phrases, where you know what it means, but you don’t actually see it.
Right, right.
Dial a phone and turn on a light and so forth.
Right, or you see somebody in email, well, I mean, when’s the last time you made a carbon copy of anything, you know?
Right, right, exactly.
Very good, yeah.
Yeah.
You know, but I think this is a good one, Carol, to throw out to the rest of our listeners.
Just chime in if you’ve got something.
What is the modern equivalent of scratching your fingers on a blackboard?
Yeah, I can’t even, even just hearing that.
I have the feeling Grant’s going to go out and find himself a chalkboard.
Oh, no.
I want you to know that I less than three your show.
Oh, fantastic.
Glad to hear it.
We less than two.
But we heart you, too.
That’s great.
Thank you very much.
Carol, it’s been a pleasure.
Thank you.
Drop us a line sometime.
Bye.
Take care.
Bye-bye.
Well, drop us a line if you can help Carol out.
What is the modern equivalent of the scratching of fingers on a blackboard?
What evokes that same kind of sensation?
What’s a really nice little phrase or a way to put that?
Or send it in email to words@waywordradio.org
That’s w-a-y-w-o-r-d.
