Honored vs. Humbled

Hello, you have A Way with Words.

Hello, this is Anne.

Hi, Anne. Welcome to the program.

Hello, Anne. What can we help you with?

Where are you calling from?

Well, right now I’m calling from Warren, Vermont, but I live in Burlington, Vermont.

Okay.

What can we do for you?

Well, I have a question that is partially a word question and partly, I’d say, a psychological question.

I am curious about why it is that people often, when they are accepting some great honor or award, will often say that they’re humbled.

Because it seems to me that it’s the opposite, that actually they’re honored.

And that you’re humbled when you’ve worked for 30 years and you never got the award.

That’s humbling.

And I completely agree.

What is up with that?

It drives me crazy.

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

Let’s explore this.

You too.

What do they follow it with?

If they are saying, I’m humbled to receive this award when I’m surrounded by all these other people who made this happen,

I’d like to thank Joe and Jane and Jill and John and all the others.

So there’s a kind of humbling where you’re surrounded by greatness and you’re admitting that it wasn’t you, it was other people.

That’s being truly humble.

I think when somebody says, oh, I’m so humbled by this, what it sounds like to me is, well, you know, thank you for coming back down to my level.

They say I’m humbled, you know.

But, I mean, I think it’s calling attention to the award, whether they mean to or not.

It bugs me like it bugs you.

If they didn’t say that, you would say that they should say that they are honored.

Yes.

I think they should say, I’m honored and I need to honor these other people who also made it possible.

But to say you’re humbled, I don’t get that.

It seems either, it kind of implies that, in fact, I’m really excited, I’m proud as can be, and I don’t want to admit it.

I agree completely.

And you should be proud.

But doesn’t it also seem like it’s sort of a recent thing in the last few years?

I don’t remember anyone ever saying that.

Not at all.

It’s not decades long.

This complaint has been around for decades as well.

Oh, really?

And I have to say that I think that you two are being unfair, actually, because you have to take it on a case-by-case basis.

Because sometimes when people say they’re humbled, they are genuinely brought down low,

And they find themselves leveled by the emotion of the greatness and the effect of the people around them,

And they’re not up there preening.

Here’s the thing is it’s part of the social glue that’s necessary to express your doubt that you’re worthy of the honor.

Okay, well, I mean, that’s great if that’s what it means.

It always just seemed a little opposite to me, but I’ll accept that.

I’m not sure I will, Anne.

Okay, I’ll go with that, too.

Anne, is the word you’re looking for disingenuous, maybe?

Perhaps.

Sometimes it feels disingenuous to me, or maybe it’s that, you know, the people who say it, I don’t think they deserve the honor or something.

It’s more gracious to accept the honor in the spirit that was given.

Thank you.

You have A Way with Words.

That’s exactly what I’m trying to say.

But honor kind of has its own problems.

If you say, I’m honored, instead of I’m humbled, basically you’re saying—

I’m grateful.

Grateful.

Grateful is good.

There’s a lot of ways.

It depends on the award.

It depends on the circumstances, right?

Well, yeah.

I think I’m honored and grateful.

Too many times.

To make a blanket statement to say I’m humbled is wrong is not something that I could ever go along with.

Well, I guess I’m not saying it’s wrong.

I’m just saying it seems curious to me.

And it would be maybe more accurate to say I’m honored and I’m deeply grateful

And I need to share this with all these other people that made it possible.

I think that’s very eloquent, Anne.

But don’t they also say that?

I mean, the substance…

Let’s throw it out to our listeners.

Let’s see what people think.

That sounds good to me.

Okay.

Well, we’re honored that you called, Anne.

Thanks for calling, Anne.

I’m humbled. I’m humbled that you took my call.

Yeah, really.

All right.

Okay. Bye.

Thanks. Bye-bye.

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