Garage-Sailing

Hello, you have A Way with Words.

Hi, this is Aaron West.

I’m calling from Northern California in Crescent City.

I have a question here that perhaps you guys are the only ones who can answer, and it’s been really bugging me for a while now.

You see, here in Crescent City, I review garage sales for the newspaper here.

Oh my gosh, you’re like Yelp for garage sales.

I’m imagining Rotten Tomatoes, but instead of tomatoes, he uses stained mattresses.

Yeah, there’s a lot of stained mattresses out there, actually.

I even got one for free.

So I have this problem, however, and that’s when I’m reviewing the garage sale, post-garage sale, and I’m writing about it.

When I say garage sale out loud and when I’m talking about garage sales, which is basically the only conversations I have, I can say, oh, yeah, we went yard selling, we went garage selling, a garage seller, that sort of thing.

But when I’m writing it in the review, it’s a little more difficult because it’s hard to make the distinction between someone who is garage selling, garage selling.

Like, are they having a garage sale? Are they shopping at garage sales? What are they doing, right?

I mean, and do you distinguish between the ones who are serious about it and the ones who are just, this is a neighbor. I’ll just check out their stuff and learn things about my neighbor.

Oh, I can definitely.

I can smell those guys for sure.

Definitely.

Because I do that.

When there’s garage sales down the street, I go.

I’m not interested in their junk, but I’m like, oh, so that’s what you’re into.

Are you one of those people?

Yeah, you peruse.

And do you go, you know, they say the garage sale starts at 8, but people show up at 6 a.m.

Are you one of those?

Does that happen?

Oh, it’s the early burn.

Does that happen up there where you are, Aaron?

Oh, it happens everywhere, all around us.

Yeah, I even did a special edition of the Garage Sale Review, specifically focused on early birds and their cutthroat tactics.

Really?

Nice.

One guy told me that he was chased out of a church with a broom because he’d arrived too early.

It’s scary out there.

Aaron, is your publication online?

Because this sounds like something I want to read every morning with my coffee.

Thegaragesalereview.com.

All right.

We’re checking it out, dude.

And you know what?

I don’t even know if we have it.

Check it out, man.

But let’s zero on the language thing here.

Your problem is what do you call a person?

What is a person doing when they go to one of these sales, right?

That’s kind of your question?

Right.

Because you can say, oh, yeah, I went garage selling, right?

Selling, S-E-L-L?

I guess so.

But then also when I’m writing it and when I’m talking about it in maybe a chat online or something, people will say garage sailing, like they’re sailing a boat perhaps.

Right.

Or they’ll also say garage selling, garage sailors, garage sellers.

And it’s just really ambiguous.

And in the end, I’ve been relegated to writing garage sale shopping or garage sale proprietor.

I can throw something in here that might add a little bit of clarity to what we’re talking about.

There is a vowel merger taking place in this part of the country that you’re talking about where sale, S-A-L-E, and sell, S-E-L-L, sound a lot alike.

And that’s part of your confusion.

So garage sale.

That definitely plays into it.

Garage sale could be garage sale or garage sell.

As the leader of your field is like the top dog in the garage sale review industry.

Because clearly you are.

I can just tell by talking to you.

You’re the Roger Ebert of garage sales.

Yes.

You’re in a position to create the lingo that everyone else uses.

That’s true.

Use your power.

That’s true.

Just come up with something that works for you.

Yes.

And just stick to it.

Yes.

Be like Walter Winchell.

He used to do this.

I was going to say, just like variety.

Yeah, variety.

Some of the lingo in Hollywood on an 80-year lifespan.

They just invented it on the spur of the moment because their headline was too long, you know?

Yeah.

Yeah.

I like garage sales.

I really appreciate this advice.

I really appreciate it.

I just didn’t want to tread on any toes by just throwing some terms out there.

But now that I’ve been given permission by you guys, I feel like I can move forward.

Oh, man, you own it.

In return, though, Aaron, I only want one thing.

I am on a long-term quest for tablespoon-sized slotted spoons.

Slotted spoons that are the size.

What was the size?

Tablespoons.

So they’re basically a tablespoon, but they’re slotted.

I want these for serving, like, you know, like wet fruit in a bowl.

So the liquid or, you know, vegetables with water.

So the water drains off.

I can’t find them.

So in return for giving you this great advice, because it’s really solid.

I know that it is.

I want slotted spoons if you find them.

Okay.

And if you find a Hello Kitty humidifier, that’s what I want.

Hello Kitty humidifier and a slotted spoon.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But tablespoon size.

Not the big ones.

I will keep my eyes open.

Okay.

Aaron, do me a favor.

Send us a link to your website.

We’ll try to make sure the whole world knows about it.

And let us know if any of the terms you come up with stick, all right?

Definitely I will.

Thank you, guys.

I listen all the time.

It’s a great show.

Thank you.

This is like one of the all-time favorite calls already.

Back at you.

Oh, that’s very exciting.

Guys, I will look for your spoons and your humidifiers for the rest of my life until I find them.

Don’t worry.

Right on.

I’ll contact you when I get them.

All right.

Bye-bye.

Bye-bye.

Take it easy.

Bye-bye.

You too.

Who knew there was a thing?

Who knew?

Who knew?

Now, I have to say, I love the terms garage sailing and yard sailing.

I’ve heard people, yard sailors, use that.

And I just, I love the image of sort of flying along on a magic carpet, you know, down the block.

Yeah, it’s got some of the sunny blue sky aspects of a sloop on the harbor, right, with your lover or something like that, right?

I think it’s no surprise that all this show is ostensibly about words and language.

Words and language are woven into literally everything.

It’s life.

Give us a call, 877-929-9673.

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