Is the term “ladies” an offensive way to refer to a group of women? As a recent discussion on Ask Metafilter revealed, many interpret it as outdated, condescending, or patronizing. The hosts conclude it all depends on context. This is part of a complete episode.
Transcript of “Feelings Towards “Ladies””
You’re listening to A Way with Words. I’m Grant Barrett.
And I’m Martha Barnette.
Ladies. Now, what’s your instant reaction when you hear that word?
Are you fine with the word ladies, or does it bother you?
Because a lot of women find it offensive.
And the question of why was recently the subject of a lively discussion on the website Ask Metafilter.
So, Grant and I asked the same question on our Facebook page, and boy, howdy, Grant, did we get a lot of response.
A lot of people said that the word ladies carries for them a whiff of a time when lady meant, you know, somebody prim and proper, a delicate creature subject to the vapors and the object of subtle or not so subtle condescension, especially if a guy is using the word.
One of our listeners, Deborah Swain, wrote on the Facebook page, I quickly stereotype the speaker as out of date and patronizing, I think.
I should probably be a bit more forbearing.
But, she adds, I’m old enough to remember when it was a very common and patronizing term of address.
Others wrote that even if a woman uses the word ladies, it’s still charged.
One listener said, I was yelled at viciously by a co-worker because I, a woman, addressed her team, all women, as ladies over email.
She also yelled at my boss for allowing me to be so rude.
She asked me if I’d address a group of men as hey men.
No, I said, but I’d address them as gentlemen.
And it got me to thinking, Grant, if a female friend of mine is trying to organize a group of us and says, okay, listen up, ladies, I’m not going to be bothered.
If the singer Beyonce is calling out to all the single ladies, I’m not going to be bothered by that.
But if a male colleague struts into the room and addresses a group of us, says, ladies, we need to do this or that, he does so at his own peril.
And there’s no problem with ladies and gentlemen, as the announcer says at the top of a show, right?
Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you Elvis Presley.
There’s no problem with that, right?
No, no, but you know, if I see the word ladies on a bathroom door, there’s some part of me that thinks, oh, I should be wearing a dress.
So how do you address a group of women? Gals? Hey, females?
Well, I think it does depend on the context and who’s doing the speaking, right?
Because that one listener was saying that she got yelled at viciously by another woman.
Right.
I guess more and more I’m tempted to say something like, hello all, or hey everybody.
Something generic and genderless.
Yeah, have we lost something, though, if we’re doing that?
Maybe we have.
Particularly if you’ve got a message specifically for women who are in the midst of a group of men, right?
Yeah, I wouldn’t say hello.
So we’ve got a room full of employees, half women, half men.
How do you address just the female half and make sure that they know that it’s for them and not for the men?
Great question.
You know, we did have one interesting post from Andrew Evans on the Facebook page.
And he says, if more people had military experience, there would be fewer objections to ladies.
Good morning, ladies and gentlemen, is a common thing I say when just walking down the hall past groups of officers.
If I were to say something like good morning, gentlemen and females, I can only imagine the equal opportunity complaints.
Right.
If not legal charges for disrespect of commissioned officers.
So it really is a problem.
How do we handle that?
Or send your opinions and email to words@waywordradio.org.
