Curing Verbal Crutches

Hello, you have A Way with Words.

Hi.

Hi, who’s this?

This is Mary Kay, and I’m calling from Plano, Texas.

Hi, Mary Kay. Welcome to the program.

Hi, Mary Kay.

Thank you. Hi.

What’s cooking? What can we do for you?

So listen, I was on a business trip with my boss recently, and she overheard me use the expression and whatnot.

Later on, she mentioned that she had heard me use it occasionally and that she hated the expression.

She thought it was unprofessional to use in a business setting.

So here are my questions.

First, what is the origin of the expression?

Secondly, should it be considered unprofessional, assuming it’s not used repetitively?

And last, what’s the best way to train yourself to stop using a certain expression, particularly in the presence of someone who doesn’t like it?

Wow, these are all great questions, but I have one for you.

What, if you pardon an expression, is the bug up her butt about the term what not?

What is her complaint? What is her peeve about?

Did she give you any evidence for it?

I’m not sure. I’m not sure. I think she just doesn’t like it.

Which, you know, that happens to all of us.

Yeah.

Can you give us an idea of what kind of business it is?

Yes.

I’m a retail store manager for Eddie Bauer, and I was doing some sales leadership workshops at some stores.

Okay.

-huh.

What would she prefer you use in those circumstances?

Well, that’s a good question.

I suppose, I don’t know.

I guess I should have asked her that.

Well, give us the whole sentence that you might have used, what she overheard you saying.

Perhaps I said something like, you might ask your customer how they’ll be using the clothing, whether it would be travel or business or whatnot.

Okay, very good.

Wow.

I don’t have a problem with that.

I don’t have a problem with it either.

There are some dictionaries that will describe whatnot as informal.

Yeah.

But, you know, some of the most educated speakers I’ve heard say, what have you? Or something like that.

Yeah, which is just a slightly more highfalutin way, right?

Yeah.

And you asked about the origin.

The idea is what would not be included.

It’s sort of a shortening of that notion.

So et cetera is kind of what we’re talking about here.

Yeah.

Right.

Yeah.

And I’ve been criticized for using et cetera by teachers who say, just say what you mean.

Don’t say et cetera.

That’s lazy.

Right.

But she’s talking specifically about that word, whatnot.

And I guess she associates it with, I don’t know, maybe was she traumatized as a child?

I’m not sure.

Maybe a nun with a ruler in her history.

That’s possible. I’ll have to ask her about that.

So assuming you don’t use the term repetitively, which is, I think, an issue,

How would you train yourself to stop using a particular word or phrase in someone’s presence?

Well, there’s a couple ways to do it.

First, don’t train yourself in their presence.

Train yourself in the presence of people that you trust.

So somebody at home.

A spouse or a child or another adult, somebody that will, every time you say it, they’ll do like a game show buzzer.

They’ll go, so you’ll know.

And pretty soon you’ll get tired of hearing that noise and you’ll hate your friend, but you also stop saying what not.

That’s exactly right.

I once interviewed a dialect coach to the stars, and he was trying to cure me of saying,

And it worked as long as I was thinking about the fact that he was going to press the buzzer if I said the word.

If you really concentrate on it and you have somebody there following you and ready to hit the buzzer, you really do change.

So you need to train yourself in circumstances where it doesn’t matter that you’re throwing out this repetitive word.

Right, right.

So it’s sort of a behavior modification technique.

Exactly.

It works.

You’re basically a pooch who’s being taught not to stray beyond the grass.

Okay, I’ll have my husband get a newspaper then.

Well, you know, the thing is, I said somebody at home, I don’t always recommend a spouse for this because it actually can sow discord that it might not go away.

Oh, that’s interesting.

So a friend who you have a very frank relationship with who knows all of your secrets, that’s the kind of person you want.

Okay.

And the other thing is you can also substitute a pause.

This is another thing they teach you, not just to stop saying it, but when you’re going to like, well, when you’ve got your accessories and your skirts and your blouses and you feel yourself about to say whatnot, you just stop.

Okay, great.

Well, thank you so much.

I appreciate your time.

Our pleasure.

Thank you so much.

Bye-bye.

Bye-bye.

Bye.

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