A professional auctioneer shares some techniques for creating his mesmerizing, melodious patter. He explains that auctioneers are known as colonels, because colonels in the civil war were assigned with auctioning off captured property. And he warns to beware of so-called chandelier bidding. His final tip: Remember, at an auction, it’s cheaper to kiss somebody than to wave at them! This is part of a complete episode.
Transcript of “Auctioneer Lingo”
Hello, you have A Way with Words.
Yes, my name is Josh from Indianapolis, Indiana.
Hi, Josh.
Hey, Josh, what’s up?
Howdy.
Just kind of following up about your program the other week about auctioneers and speaking so quickly.
Mm—
Yeah.
One of the interesting things, I mean, I grew up in kind of the auction world. My father was an auctioneer for a little over 20 years, and actually this year he sold his auction barn that he had his business at.
You guys touched on some really great facts last week. One of the things that, Marty, you were talking about the idea of it starting in the Civil War, the history behind with the Civil War when the different armies would basically capture property and land. The only individuals in the armies that were allowed to sell all of the property and the goods were those of the rank of colonel. And that’s how actually today auctioneers get their title, very unofficial, of course, but they’re actually known by the title of Colonel.
Right. Interesting.
You may hear that at an auction where a ring person will call the auctioneer Colonel.
Right. Huh. I did not know that.
It’s an interesting, you know, bit of fact, like the difference like you guys were talking about between here and other countries. And a lot of individuals think that auctioneers are actually talking very fast, when in truth most of it is contraction, just like we would contract would not into wouldn’t.
What auctioneers tend to do as we’re learning the technique of doing the auctioneer’s chant, or the roll as they call it, what they do is they start kind of chopping out syllables and kind of bringing words together to create almost like a euphonic sound, something that’s pleasing to the ear. So they’re not really as much talking fast as they are making something that’s, in a sense, rhythmic, like almost as if a rapper or like a slam poet would make it sound really, really good in the ear.
And it’s actually a fun process. That’s one of the big practices as an auctioneer that we have to go through, is learning our numbers and those filler phrases, which is anything but the numbers.
Josh, you said we, so you’re an auctioneer yourself?
I actually did it alongside my father for about 15 years or so.
Oh, how cool.
Well, we’ve got to hear some. Grant’s going to come to your house and be witty and charming at a dinner party. How would you auction him off to people across the world?
After you go through that description and kind of tell all the high points and avoid the low points, you usually start by kind of getting the audience to really know what the first bit is, which would be like, here do I hit a $100 bit, $100 bit, not two, $100 bit, not two, not two. $200 bid now, $3. Put them at $3, put them at $3, put them at $3. $200, $200 bid now, $3, now $2.5. You try to know what your crowd’s going to bid and then get them kind of motivated and sometimes slip in some filler phrases like, got to be the bidder to be the buyer. That’s another one a lot of auctioneers use.
I’ve heard that one.
Get them motivated, go, oh, got to be the bidder to be the buyer. You’re not going to get it unless you put your hand up in the air.
So, Josh, if you were going to tell us one thing that no one knows about auctioneering, what would it be?
One thing that nobody knows about auctioneering. Maybe the thing that they should know.
Well, okay, the thing that they should know is that depending upon the state in which you live, there are certain states that are what are known as absolute auctions, which means that no matter what, everything at that auction must transfer ownership from an owner to a new buyer or a new owner. Those are dangerous states to go to auctions because that’s where you see a lot of what’s known as chandelier bidding.
Chandelier bids basically is raising a price even though there’s no bid. You know, I’m bid 75, what do you give 80? 75, what do you give 80? 80, now 90. Well, there was no $80 bid. The auction here made it up, and that’s called a chandelier bid. And that’s dangerous because as the bidder, you don’t know. You know, you’re looking around the crowd like, I didn’t see anybody raise their hand.
I was just going to say, Josh, I’m standing here hugging myself, and I’m realizing that I’m afraid that you’re going to call on me, that you’re going to think that I’ve made a bid and I haven’t.
That is kind of another big fear that people have when they go to an auction, is that the auctioneer is going to take every little hand twitch and eye wink and that kind of thing. And, I mean, one of the things that my father always used at his auction was, it’s cheaper to kiss somebody than wave at them at an auction. But most auctioneers aren’t really going to take your bid unless you mean it. I mean, they might take it accidentally, but they’re going to correct it. For the most part, you have to really definitively bid with a card or nodding of your head or waving your hand.
Yeah, it is cheaper to kiss somebody than wave at them and nod. I’m stealing that. Love it.
Josh, this was fantastic. I’m enlightened and I’m informed.
Glad to hear it.
Glad to hear it. It’s been a pleasure.
Thank you so much.
Thank you.
All right.
Bye-bye.
All right.
Bye-bye.
