You Guys

Hello, you have A Way with Words.

Hi, my name is Josh. I hail from Indianapolis.

You hail from Indianapolis.

Hail, Josh.

Hail.

And well met. How can we help you?

I am a server at an undisclosed restaurant here in Indianapolis.

Okay.

At one point I was waiting on a table, and I addressed the table, and I said, can I take your guys’ order?

And the woman at the table looked at me and she said, sir, I do not appreciate being addressed as a guy.

Oh.

So what’s next?

Then what happened?

Was there a scuffle?

I don’t know if this is a feminist issue.

I don’t know if this is a colloquial issue.

Tell us a little bit about the group.

Are we talking what age?

Yeah, they’re in their upper stages of life.

60s, 70s, 80s?

I’d say late 50s.

Late 50s.

For sure.

That’s middle age.

What are you talking about upper stages?

Well, I guess I’m a newly grad.

You’re in the lower stages.

Oh, so you’re in your 20s then.

Right.

I guess I can say I’m in my lower stages and anything thereafter is upper.

Well, sonny boy, I’ve got a thing to tell you about language.

All right.

We can figure this out.

There’s a couple of cool things that happened here.

I think you did the right thing just to move forward and not get into it with her.

So A-plus for you for that because that’s the proper etiquette of that situation.

If someone says they’re offended, you say, oh, I’m sorry, and you call them by the thing that they want to be called by.

Whatever it is, if they want to be called, you know, Chief Fluffernutter of the Ambiguous Brigade, then you call them Chief Fluffernutter of the Ambiguous Brigade.

All right, from now on, Grant.

But the other thing about this that I think went well is she made it plain that she didn’t agree with that usage.

And I think she had the right to say that.

Right.

However, there is clearly an age split there.

And the two of you perfectly represent that age split here because you guys are guys plural, plural, mind you, not singular, does in American English refer to groups of mixed genders?

It absolutely does.

And what kind of tip did you get?

Yeah, 20%.

Okay.

And a piece of language advice.

Yeah, some of that may have been just, again, apologizing and moving on and righting my wrong.

Yeah, yeah, she got to say what she wanted to say.

Sure.

But I think Grant’s point is that you were okay in terms of—

Yeah, I mean, it was a logical usage right out of the gate.

If you run into that woman again, if she comes back, you now know, and you will give her the terminology that she wants because that’s the kind of server that you are, right?

You’re considerate, and now you know.

And you had no way of knowing that she didn’t conform to what is now very common colloquial usage.

I mean, so common that, like, the president does it when he refers to the press, when they’re in the press room at the White House, you know?

He says, you guys.

And he means the room full of men and women of all ages and backgrounds.

Towards the end of their meal, I thankfully stopped myself almost mid-word, and I just about departed saying, thank you, friends, for coming in.

Nice.

Good save.

It’s been a pleasure.

Friends, did you say?

Friends, yes.

Yeah, as Billie Jean King says, champions adjust, and you adjusted.

So good for you.

There we go.

So bravo, Josh.

I hope this helps you feel a little better about the encounter.

Josh, thanks a lot for calling.

Thank you very much for taking my call.

All right, take care now.

Okey-doke.

Bye-bye.

Hey, you too.

Bye-bye.

I like y’all.

Y’all works, but you’re Southern, though.

Yeah, but it’s so functional.

To the Northern ear, maybe it doesn’t sound 100%.

Well, Northern ear needs to get over it.

Y’all give us a call, 877-929-9673, or send an email to words@waywordradio.org.