Trailer Queen and Soup Spitter

You’re listening to A Way with Words. I’m Grant Barrett.

And I’m Martha Barnette, and it’s time for another round of Slang This.

Today’s contestant is Fred Valenzano from Bakersfield, California.

Fred, are you with us?

Yes, I am.

All right. Say hi to Grant.

Hi, Grant.

Hello, Fred. What’s going on in Bakersfield?

You know, it’s basically the same old thing here.

We are hanging out on a lovely day and listening to A Way with Words.

You ready to play a quiz?

Absolutely.

Do you have a favorite slang term you’d like to share with us first?

I would say my favorite slang term and the thing I’m most likely to use on a recurring basis is a word, cheeseball.

I would say the meaning behind that is emanates from something being cheesy or maybe just a little off, or kind of like that cheeseball that’s still sitting on the counter there after everybody else has had the hors d’oeuvres and all the good stuff is gone, you know, the chocolate-covered strawberries are gone.

The cheese ball with one little slice out of it is still sitting there.

Right.

The one with the nuts on the outside, right?

Yeah, that big hunk.

Yes.

Well, how about if we see how good you are at guessing the meaning of some other slang terms?

Well, I would love to take a shot at that.

All right.

Well, here’s how we play, Fred.

Grant’s going to give you a slang term, and then he’s going to present you with three possible examples of how it might be used.

Only one of them is real, and the other two are bogus.

So your job is going to be to tell us which example is the real thing.

Three choices, one answer. You got it?

Yep.

Okay, cheese ball, take it away.

All right, here we go.

The first term in today’s quiz is soup spitter.

That’s two words with a hyphen, S-O-U-P-S-P-I-T-T-E-R, soup spitter.

And the first usage clue is some zoo chimps are feces flingers. Others are soup spitters.

The soup spitters are the ones you see taking big gulps of water and then spraying the windows.

The second one.

The judge dismissed the charges saying that although the obnoxious boy was sure to come to no good, at this point he was merely a soup spitter and no threat to the community.

And the third one.

At the end of the dry season, the long-legged flock of soup spitters joined the other water birds in flight and headed north to their breeding grounds.

So, there are your three clues.

So, Fred, is it A, a chimpanzee in the zoo that spits water at zoo goers, B, a troublemaking young man, or C, a type of waterfowl?

Wow, it’s terrible because when you said that, I had another whole idea in my mind.

What was it?

Well, I was imagining somebody telling a joke at the dinner table that was such a good joke, it was a soup spitter.

That’s good.

So Grandma Marge down at the end of the table, like, blah, you know.

She did a spit take then.

I like that.

That’s too bad that that’s not in my group there.

Well, we could pencil in D, but you’d still be wrong.

You are, absolutely.

It’s kind of hard because A seems to have more credibility, B sounds reasonable, and C sounds like a stretch, like we just had to throw a third one in there.

Oh, now, come now.

Wow, deductive reasoning here.

Oh, you’re in trouble, Grant.

Did you say defective reasoning?

No, deductive.

I said defective reasoning.

No, these are brilliant.

I take great pains with these, and even the fake ones.

Yes, absolutely, I agree with that.

A sounds pretty hairy to me.

It sounds like it’s got some legs.

So you’re saying a soup spitter is a chimp in the zoo that spits water at zoo goers.

I’ve seen those.

I think that that has more credibility in my mind than the kid, the bad kid, you know, who’s a soup spitter.

Do you have kids?

The thing is, Fred, it actually is the kid.

Oh.

Wow, really?

Yeah, no, it’s soup spitter.

Because think about it.

Spitting your soup at your parents or at the dinner table is kind of a minor infraction.

So it’s somebody who’s not quite beyond all hope, and there’s a chance they might grow up to be a responsible adult.

Yes. Okay.

So the answer, unfortunately, is B, a troublemaking young man.

B.

So are you ready for the next one?

Sure.

The next one is trailer queen.

That’s two words, T-R-A-I-L-E-R-Q-U-E-E-N, trailer queen.

And the first clue, there are trailer queens attached to every section of the federal budget.

Those small paragraphs ride along in a piece of legislation sucking money away for pork and boondoggles and special interests.

Wow, so political.

The second clue.

Don LaFontaine is one of the most famous announcers in the world.

He’s the trailer queen who says things like, in a world where nothing is for certain, in movie previews.

I know Don LaFontaine, not personally, but I know exactly who you’re talking about.

And then the third clue, he eased the trailer queen down the ramp, being careful not to scratch it, or, for that matter, to even get a fingerprint on it.

That vintage roadster was a thing of beauty, and he couldn’t even stand to drive it for fear it would get dirty.

So there are your three clues, Fred.

Which one is it?

Is it A, the name of the parts of bills that spend government money on pet projects?

Is it B, a man who does the voiceovers for movie trailers?

Or is it C, a mint-conditioned automobile that is never driven?

Wow, that is really tough because now all of those sound really good.

You know, I’ve been to car shows and seen those cars that never come off the trailer.

And, you know, I’ve seen the commercials with Don LaFontaine in A Man Barely Alive and something like that.

Oh, dude, let’s hear it, Fred.

Come on.

In a world where nothing is for certain.

Oh, my gosh.

There we go.

Hello.

The real radio announcer voice there, you know.

Wow.

So you think that’s the one?

We should write in some copy.

Do you think it’s the second one?

Yeah, there you go.

I’ll phone it in.

Yeah.

Do you think Trailer Queen is a man who does movies?

I really think that it’s, again, I think that it’s A.

It really does sound like the sort of, especially because of all the detail that you put into that clue, if it’s really a red herring or whatever.

Unfortunately, Trailer Queen is a mint-conditioned automobile that is never driven.

That makes sense.

Who knew?

And you’re right.

You go to these automobile shows, and these things are beautiful.

There’s not a fleck of dust.

Well, they tip them up on their sides.

They jack them up at a 30-degree or 45-degree angle and put mirrors under the car so you can see how beautiful the underside of the car is, too.

I’m sorry, Fred, but you’re 0 for 2.

That doesn’t mean you’re not a good person.

Oh, well, thanks.

I was worried that my whole self-worth was going to be hanging on my quality on the show here.

It is.

Oh, no.

We’re going to read about him in the paper tomorrow.

He’s going to have thrown his recycling in the street instead of putting it nicely in a can.

Yeah, in the canal.

Oh, wow.

That was fun.

I really do love what you guys do and appreciate the show.

Well, thank you very much, and thank you for playing with us today, Fred. Great. Thanks a lot, Grant.

Hey, and by the way, Fred, before you get away, I want to let you know that we’re going to send you a copy of Grant’s book, The Oxford Dictionary of American Political Slang.

Oh, that sounds really rich and juicy.

It is. Yes, sir. That’s wonderful.

Yeah, you should wait for the movie. In a world where political slang… It’ll be epic.

Yes. In a world where political slang can be baffling.

Yes, more, more, more. What would you say, Grant, in a world where…

I would say, and listeners, if you’d like to join our quiz on the air, the number is 1-877-929-WORD, or email us at words@waywordradio.org. Be sure to include all your phone numbers and your favorite slang word.