Trade-Last

Hello, you have A Way with Words.

Hello, it’s Robert Brown from Encinitas.

Hey, Robert, how you doing?

I’m doing great. How are you all doing?

All right. What’s cooking? What’s on your mind? What are you thinking about?

Well, it’s a saying called a told last or a T-L.

Told last? Like T-O-L-D?

Told last. T-O-L-D. Last. L-A-S-T.

And one day my wife came home and said to me, I have a T-L for you.

And I asked, what’s a T-L?

She answered it meant told last and proceeded to tell me that it was a compliment made to her about me from a mutual friend, or it could be anyone.

And that I, therefore, would be the one who was told last.

And I replied, why would I be told last?

And she replied, because if you repeat it, you’re bragging.

I asked her, is this a family mythology type thing, or is it a broader thing?

And she didn’t know.

And so I’m just wondering what’s with a TL.

Well, Robert, let me ask you, where are the two of you from?

Well, she was born in Berkeley, and I was born in the Central Valley, a little town called Hanford.

Okay, so you’re both Californians.

Correct.

Yeah, that actually sounds like a variant of a more common term, which is trade last, which has the same initials, TL.

And it’s exactly as you described it.

Somebody, say, gives Grant a compliment.

And so then I come to Grant and I say, Grant, I have a compliment for you.

But he has to tell me a compliment about me first.

Oh, I see.

So you trade compliments.

Are these real things?

Are these things that you just invent them to make each other feel good?

I mean, it was a real compliment in your case, right, Robert?

Yes, it was.

But I didn’t have to trade it for anything.

Oh, you didn’t?

She just went ahead and told you?

Yeah.

And she called it a told last.

And she said it was just something that they had in their family.

-huh.

Huh.

You know.

Interestingly enough, it’s not just in the family.

It goes back to at least the 1880s, 1890s.

It may have arisen among schoolgirls.

It sounds like a kind of schoolgirl thing to do.

But Rudyard Kipling used this expression.

He used the expression trade last.

And I think told last is a variant of that.

Until last comes up now and again.

Yeah.

It’s pretty widespread, though.

We find it popping up all across the country.

Really, it’s long past its heyday, though.

At this point, it’s a historical curiosity, mostly.

Yeah.

It’s kind of a fun practice, though.

I’m wondering what the compliment was.

Can you share it with us?

It’s been, I mean, this was 40 years ago.

Oh, okay.

So I’ve been waiting 40 years to find out.

Whoa.

What?

I’m a patient person.

Apparently so, Robert.

But Rudyard Kipling’s a pretty good, you know, I mean, that’s a good reference.

I like that.

Yeah.

Yeah, he used it at least a couple of times in his work.

Yeah, so great long tradition.

Thank you, Robert, for the call.

Really appreciate it.

Okay, thank you so much.

Take care now.

Bye-bye.

Okay, bye-bye.

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