The Subjunctive Tense

Hello, you have A Way with Words.

Hi, this is Jessica in Fort Worth.

Hiya, Jessica, what’s up?

Well, I was calling with a question about the subjunctive tense.

Okay.

I very seldom hear it used anymore, and actually even in print I’m seeing that it’s not really used.

And I’m wondering, is the subjunctive tense dead, or is it just not that commonly used any longer?

Is it moribund?

About it. Let me ask you where you’re not seeing it, where you expect to see it. A lot of times,

Even in print, I just hear people say, I wish I was, as opposed to, I wish I were.

Okay, well, a couple of things to say about this subjunctive. First of all, it’s a mood,

Not a tense. A tense is like past, present, and future, that kind of thing. And English verbs also

Have mood. Like there’s indicative mood, which indicates inaction. Jessica is calling away with

Words. There’s the imperative mood, which is, Jessica, call A Way with Words. And then there’s

The subjunctive. And I can tell that you’re sensitive to what the subjunctive does, which is

That it can do a lot of different things like express a wish or talk about something that’s

Not really true, right? Right. Like I wish I were an Oscar Mayer Wiener or something, right? Right.

Right. Here’s the thing about it. Most of the time, the subjunctive is invisible. You’re using

As subjunctive and you don’t even know it. For example, if I say every week you call away with

Words, that’s indicative. But if I say, Jessica, it is important that you call A Way with Words.

The word call is the same in both of those sentences, but in that second sentence,

It’s functioning as a subjunctive. And so there are lots of verbs that get used all the time,

And we don’t realize that they’re subjunctive. But as you said, it starts to rear its subjunctive

Head, it pops up with the verb to be just as you indicated. And so it’s a lot more obvious there.

And you use it usually when you’re talking about something that’s quote unquote contrary to fact.

Have you heard that expression used in English class? Yeah, I believe so. So for example, I might

Say, if Jessica were here, we would all go out for burritos or something. Right. But I know that

You’re not here.

So I’m saying if Jessica were here, that’s a subjunctive.

I have a special place in my heart for the subjunctive.

Like you, you would like to see it more, right?

I always, when I hear, like if I hear someone say, I wish I was a millionaire,

That jumps out to me almost like a double negative and it just screams of poor grammar.

You, me, and Beyonce.

Do you know her song, I Wish I Were a Boy?

I don’t think I’ve heard that one, but I always think of the

If I were a wealthy man from The Fiddler on the Roof.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So major props to Fiddler on the Roof and Beyoncé.

They’ve got it right.

That’s subjunctive.

Let me counter all this poppycock by saying that the subjunctive is dead.

Your producer told me that.

You would say that.

Of course.

Put a fork in it.

Seriously, put a fork in it.

It’s been dying for 200 years.

And in very isolated cases, is it necessary?

And in most of those cases, they are artificial constructions

Invented by grammarians in order to prove a point

That some part of the language needs to be sustained

Because it can’t sustain itself.

This is life support that you’re putting the subjunctive on.

And the language doesn’t require it.

Most of the weight is carried by words like may and should anyway.

If does a remarkable job.

And as you said, the reason the subjunctive is invisible

Is because the subjunctive is almost unnecessary.

Well, is it necessary in other languages?

Yes, very much so.

Because they’re different languages.

Languages don’t map tense to tense, mood to mood, word to word.

Well, no, no, no.

But I think, I mean, fine art isn’t absolutely necessary, but it’s beautiful.

And I think there’s something really beautiful.

Once I finally mastered the subjunctive in Spanish, and it took me a long time,

I felt like I had subjunctivitis because I just couldn’t do it.

And then I thought, man, we have this weak subjunctive in English.

I see what’s happening here.

It nearly is as flexible and robust and beautiful.

I see what’s happening here.

If this were 150 years ago and the cotton gin were invented,

You’d say, no, thank you.

I prefer it to do the old way, by hand,

Because it took me so much effort to learn how to sort this cotton by hand.

Jessica.

Yes.

What do you have to say to that?

You must let the skill die.

If you were here.

It sounds awkward to me to say, I wish I was a millionaire.

And I’m going to stick with using I Wish I Were a Millionaire,

And I’m going to go back and see if I can learn some Spanish that I seem to have missed out on.

Excelente. Well, I wish you were a millionaire, too.

And dollars, not pesos.

Exactly.

Well, Jessica, thanks for a stimulating discussion here.

Thank you, Jessica.

Thank you so much for speaking to me today.

All right. You’re right. Bye-bye.

Bye-bye.

Okay, well, how about the rest of you?

What do you feel about the subjunctive?

Should it live or should it die?

In English. Let us know. The number is 1-877-929-9673, or you can email us.

The address is words@waywordradio.org.