Standing up at a Wedding Means More Than Being Vertical

Hey there, you have A Way with Words.

Hey, this is Matt from Grand Rapids. I moved here in October.

Okay, from where?

Well, I moved from Montreal, but I’m from Ohio, so that’s where my, you know, language knowledge is based.

Okay, well, what would you like to add to your language knowledge?

Well, apparently there’s a divide between Ohio and Michigan because when I got here,

I was out with somebody and we met one of his friends, and he’s from Big Rapids,

Which is a small town north of Grand Rapids.

And he said, oh, that guy’s brother stood up at my wedding.

And I was like, how dare he stand up during the wedding?

Like, was he standing up to object to the union of the two people up at the front?

And he’s like, no, what are you talking about?

He stood up in the wedding party at the front of the church.

And I said, oh, I’ve never heard that.

You would just say normally they were in the wedding party or they were a groomsman.

And then I thought it was kind of a one-off.

And then it happened again during my team meeting at work where somebody from Michigan said that their son stood up at a wedding last weekend or something.

And I was like, that’s when I kind of interjected during my meeting.

And I was like, never heard that.

And then a few other people from Michigan were like, yeah, that sounds normal to me.

So I guess it’s just the difference between Ohio and Michigan.

I don’t think that’s it.

I just think that you’re in with a group of people who are just involved with weddings a lot.

Like there’s this whole period in your life where everything’s a wedding, like every weekend is a wedding.

Well, yeah, that was my 20s for sure.

But in Ohio, nobody ever said that.

Are you hanging with a younger crowd now in Michigan who are in the earlier getting married years?

No, the first guy that said it was 36, and then the other person that said it in my meeting was 55.

I think it was her son.

And then a 35-year-old said that they say that all the time.

I’m just going to say, though, Matt, it’s just a coincidence.

Maybe you’re just more attuned to it because it’s an Americanism.

It’s used throughout North America, actually.

You’ll find in Canada and the United States.

Nothing particular Michigander about it.

Oh, so you’ve heard it before.

Oh, yeah.

It goes back about 200 years to stand up at a wedding.

Just like you said, it means to be right up there at the front as the groomsman or the bridesmaid or matron or whatever, the best man.

But originally, it was just the idea of standing up as a formal witness.

You didn’t even have to have the official title.

Like somebody can stand up for you at the courthouse.

It means they show up, they’re present to witness it happening, and maybe they’ll sign the paperwork as a witness too.

That’s standing up for a ring.

Like you’re literally standing up to show I’m here to say the yes, this indeed is happened and has happened.

In the future, I’ll be able to talk about it authoritatively and say they are indeed married.

And so in some traditions, by the way, the person who stands up may take the role for both the bride and the groom.

So they’re not a maid or matron of honor or a best man.

They’re just literally there to stand up for both of the people.

So to stand up at the wedding is just a common phrase that I just have never heard.

Yeah, and that’s fine.

You know, it happens all the time.

Everything that we know, all of our knowledge and our language knowledge was new to us at one point.

You just happened to witness the one time you learned something new.

Yeah.

Okay.

Well, I guess I just hadn’t encountered the people that use it before.

I guess my bubble was smaller than I thought.

No, yeah, but it’s just a different bubble.

How about that?

Nothing wrong with this bubble.

Nothing wrong with the old one.

Just a new bubble.

That’s all.

For sure.

For sure.

I guess it just, it kind of evoked the idea of being stood up, which is very negative.

We didn’t address that, did we?

The confusion of being stood up, stood up on a date or somebody standing up and saying,

I protest so they cannot get married.

I’ve been in love with her for a year.

Well, I won’t be adopting it, but I guess I won’t be stopping people when they say it anymore.

Yeah.

You don’t have to say down in front or anything.

All right, Matt.

Thank you so much.

Thank you. Have a great one.

All right. Take care now. Bye.

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