A Northern California caller discovers that in Britain, an invitation to share a joint doesn’t mean what it does back home. This is part of a complete episode.
Transcript of “Sharing a Joint in Great Britain”
Hi, you have A Way with Words.
Hi, this is Hilary Mosier. I’m calling from McKinleyville, California.
McKinleyville. What county is that in?
That’s in Humboldt, past the Bong County.
Well, put down the pipe and tell us what’s on your mind.
Well, you know, I, many years ago, in the early 70s, decided to go to college in England.
And I thought that, you know, it would be fine because I speak English and they speak English.
And I got there and discovered, no, no, no, I speak American.
They speak English.
And the first time it hit me was when I went, the first night I was there, and I went into one of my roommates and asked if I could borrow a bobby pin.
And she just looked at me blankly and said, what’s that?
And I said, you know, it’s like a wire clip that holds your hair back.
And she said, you mean a Kirby grip?
And I said, who’s Kirby?
And she said, well, who’s Bobby?
All of a sudden, they’re Kirby.
Yeah, who is Bobby?
What the heck?
And then several months later, I was working as an au pair for a young British family,
And we got up on Sunday morning, and the mother said,
We’re having a joint tonight.
And I thought, what?
I had just moved from San Francisco and hadn’t had any such thing in quite a while since I’d been in England.
But I thought, okay, well, we’ll see how they do joints in England.
And we went throughout the day, and we went gardening,
And then we cooked the roast beef and the potatoes and the green beans.
And we ate our dinner and we bathed the children and put them to bed.
And then they started to say goodnight.
And I said, well, wait a second.
How about the joint?
And they both looked at each other and blinked.
And just in that moment, I remembered reading Shakespeare in high school and coming across a joint of mutton.
And it occurred to me, their joint must be the roast beef.
How disappointed you must have been.
They both said, oh, we didn’t know if you smoked or not.
And it turned out, it all worked out well, but what a confusion.
It all worked out well.
And then on another time, I needed some thumbtacks.
And I went to a place called Portobello Road, which is like a gigantic yard sale.
And they had little booths that people go and sell their things.
And I later found out, actually, if you get burgled, you go there and find your things that weekend.
But I said, do you have any thumbtacks?
And they would say, thumbtacks? No, we ain’t got none of those.
Go down the road.
And I’d go to the next one.
Do you have any thumbtacks?
No, no, go down the road.
And finally I saw on a corner a store that was called the Iron Mongers,
And it had like washboards hanging from the eaves.
So I went inside, and sure enough, it turned out that’s the English version of a hardware store.
And there behind the counter I saw a package of thumbtacks.
And I said, I would like a package of thumbtacks.
And the man said, thumb what?
No, we ain’t got none of those.
Go down the road.
And I said, no, no, they’re hanging right there.
And he pointed and he said, you mean these?
And I said, yeah.
And he said, drawing pins.
I said, yeah, drawing pins.
Yeah, can I have a package of those, please?
Hillary, you’re great fun.
Well, thank you.
Thanks for calling, Hillary.
All right, you’re welcome.
Best of luck to you.
Take care.
Bye-bye.
Bye-bye.
What are your crazy stories about English encounters?
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