What Do You Call Two “Moose”? Still “Moose,” Though “Meese” as a Joke Is Out There

Hello, you have A Way with Words.

Hello, Grant.

Hiya, who is this?

This is Marty. I’m calling from Denver, Colorado.

What is on your mind, Marty?

A couple weeks ago, I got an email that I was sharing with my cousin, and he said something about a moose, and I sent a reply back. Unfortunately, we’re not the mooses that this is happening to. And my spell check kicked it out and said that mooses is not a proper plural for moose.

Oh.

And it bothered me. And I used to do, when I was in high school, I used to teach English as a second language to Russian immigrants. And so, you know, I’ve always heard, you know, well, if it’s goose, it’s geese. Why isn’t it, you know, if it’s moose, why isn’t it meese and all of that stuff? But I just assumed that the plural was mooses, and it just really bothered me. It didn’t look right when I wrote it. It didn’t sound right when I said it out loud to just say, we aren’t the moose that this is happening to.

Right.

Couldn’t you have just said elk, or is that kind of the same problem?

I don’t know. I think elk would probably sound better to my ear, but mooses just – moose didn’t sound right.

So mooses sounded right to you?

Yes.

It was moosic to your ear?

No, no. I’m sorry.

Oh.

Wait a second. Call a doctor in my heart. That was really tough for you then.

It just bothers me, and I want to know if I can use mooses instead of moose, no matter what my spell check says.

Can he use mooses instead of moose as the plural of moose, Martha?

Yeah.

Can he?

Well, you know. May he. Most style guides and dictionaries that you look at will tell you that the plural of moose is?

Drum roll.

Moose.

Moose.

You sound so disappointed.

I really am.

Well, yes, the plural of moose is moose, as you say. And this happens a lot with fish and game and livestock. I mean, think about these examples. One fish, two fish. Yeah. One deer, two deer. One sheep, two sheep. Fish, game, and livestock. You know, I mean, English is pretty wacky, but it doesn’t form by analogy with goose and geese.

Oh, I knew that.

Well, and it doesn’t form by analogy with noose and nooses either.

Exactly.

Exactly. Now, go figure, but that’s what the authorities will tell you, and that’s probably why Microsoft’s spell checker kicked it out every time.

Hey, Marty, can I give you a bit of jargon that you can go home with? It might make you feel a little better.

Sure.

Jargon always makes you feel better, doesn’t it?

Well, it’s language jargon, so it’s okay.

Oh, okay. These sorts of words are called zero plural words.

Yeah.

And they’re the same in the singular form as they are in the plural. Zero plural words. Now, that makes you feel better, doesn’t it, Marty?

It just doesn’t flow off the tongue right.

No, no.

Yeah, that’s why I was asking. Could you just substitute another animal there?

Well, I could have, but he’s the one who brought up the moose.

Right. Well, Marty, I hope this helps you feel a little better about mooses not really working out.

Well, next time I’ll just suggest another animal.

Thank you.

Thank you both.

All right.

Bye-bye, Marty.

Thanks for coming.

Bye-bye.

Armadillos, maybe.

So, Grant, what’s the plural of mongoose?

Mongoose?

Cis?

Peace?

I don’t know. Let me check one of my 40 dictionaries that I have on my computer and see.

All right.

Get back to me.

Gooses.

Mongooses.

Mongooses.

Yes, all the dictionaries that I have say so.

Really? You have them all up on your screen at once?

Well, yeah. They search them all at one time.

You’re scary.

Well, if you are troubled by a language question, give us a call. The number is 1-877-929-9673. That’s 1-877-WAYWORD. Or send an email to words@waywordradio.org.