Paper to Pixels, Pages to Screens

[Music] You’re listening to A Way with Words.

I’m Grant Barrett.

And I’m Martha Barnette.

Recently I was on a long, long flight.

And I caught myself passing the time by looking around to see what all my seatmates were reading.

And it’s funny how much we know or we think we know about the stranger next to us based on the book he’s reading.

And to some extent, you know, we do judge a person by their book covers.

And the writer Megan Daum has a wonderful essay about this.

She writes about how we do evaluate people to some extent, depending on, for example, whether you see them with the telltale orange spine that denotes a penguin paperback or the foil embossed dead giveaway of a romance novel.

But, you know, Grant, I’m hearing a lot of hype these days about electronic books.

And I keep thinking if everybody’s carrying e-books and laptops, we’re not going to have that same simple pleasure of just looking around a public place to see what other people are up to in terms of what they’re reading.

You could just ask, though, if you see somebody with a pen.

Well, that’s true.

Who says technology is impersonal?

Well, right.

I mean, if you see somebody with one of the Sony products that they have that use the electronic paper or the Amazon Kindle or any of those kinds of — even reading on their palm pile, you could always ask if they’re really engrossed.

Maybe it’s a little nosy.

I don’t know, Martha.

Maybe there are better ways to judge a person.

Well, anyway, if you want to talk about books or reading or writing or you have a question about language, you can send us an electronic message, night or day.

The address is words@waywordradio.org.

You can send us an e-mail about anything related to books or music or prints at words@waywordradio.org.

Hello, you have A Way with Words.

Oh, hello.

Who is this?

This is Lois.

Hello, Lois.

Where are you calling from?

San Diego.

Oh, San Diego.

Hi, Martha.

What’s cooking over there?

What are you doing over there in San Diego?

Well, I’ve been thinking about an expression that my mother used to say to me all the time, and I have never heard it since or even read about it.

Aha, I love these.

Let’s hear this one.

I know.

And I was a very curious little kid probably because I was always saying, “What’s in there?

What’s in that box?

What’s in that closet?”

And she would say, “Layers for meddlers and crutches for lame ducks.”

And that indicated that it was none of my business.

Layers for meddlers and crutches for lame ducks.

Layers like L-A-Y-E-R-S?

Well, you see, I’ve never seen it written.

I only heard her.

So when I was thinking about it, I wondered, did I hear it as layers, L-A-Y-E-R-S?

Or did she say liars?

I don’t know.

I don’t know.

Oh, man.

I love these.

We’re collecting these, Lois.

They’re fabulous expressions.

And you’ve never heard anybody else say anything like this, right?

Never.

Never.

Right.

This falls into the category of things that parents say to, as you said, give an easy answer to an over-inquisitive kid.

And I’ve seen a lot of these.

I have a whole collection of them.

Like, “I’m sewing buttons on ice cream.”

Oh.

Oh, my.

I love that.

I love that.

Or in Britain, sometimes they say, “I’m making a whim wham for a goose’s bridle.”

-huh.

And the idea is, don’t ask me any more questions already, right?

Another one is spectacles for blind bumblebees.

Oh, I love that.

Oh, I never heard that.

But, yeah, they’re all questions to respond to kids.

You know, you basically give them nonsense in response.

And it’s a really befuddling saying, isn’t it?

Because you could muse that over for quite a while and come up with nothing.

Layers for meddlers and crutches for lame ducks.

Why are the ducks lame?

Who made the crutches?

Are they little tiny duck crutches?

What are the meddlers’ people and what are the layers?

Are layers like the chickens that lay eggs?

You know, because you talk about good layers.

Who knows?

Well, there are lots of different versions of this layers for meddlers thing.

I’ve seen lay-ohs for meddlers.

Yeah, I’ve seen as lay-overs instead of layers, right?

Yes, exactly.

And, you know, in one of my favorite reference books, “The Dictionary of Smoky Mountain English,” there’s an entry for layover and it’s a deadfall trap, you know, a kind of trap that you make where you make a hole and then you cover it up so that somebody won’t see it and then they fall into it.

And so the idea may be that a layover is to catch meddlers.

I see.

That makes sense.

So your mother is laying a trap for you when she gives you this.

Yeah, or it’s just something that you want to stay away from.

I do know, though, Lois, that the earliest that I’ve been able to trace this back is to the 1840s.

So it’s got some history.

You’ll find it in various books.

A number of different slang dictionaries will include variations on a theme.

One variation in the 1885 issue of Manchester Notes and Queries in the United Kingdom was making lay house for meddlers and crutches for lame ducks.

Oh, so you actually did see something that said crutches.

I did.

Yep, absolutely.

I found it in print.

I found it in a couple of places in 1906.

I found Eric Partridge, the great English slang lexicographer, and Paul Beale put a guess of 1870 for the origin of the term.

But as you’ve heard, I was able to take it to the 1840s.

Wow.

Well, Lois, I hope we’ve been enlightening.

Yes.

Oh, super.

At least you know that it’s not something that your mom made up, and it’s got a history.

That’s right.

That’s very interesting.

Thank you so much.

All right.

Thanks for bringing that up.

All righty.

Bye.

I love this stuff.

Thank you, Lois.

Okay.

Bye-bye.

Bye-bye.

You know, Grant, I know that there are people out there with other examples, and we love to see them.

Yes, please.

Yes, please.

If you have an expression that you use to keep kids out of your hair, or maybe your grandparents said something like that, why don’t you go to our discussion forum and let us know about it.

The address is waywordradio.org/discussion.

Hello.

You have A Way with Words.

Good afternoon.

This is Spence.

Hiya, Spence.

Where are you calling from?

From Milwaukee, Wisconsin.

Hello, Milwaukee.

What’s going up there?

Well, here at the museum, we’re staying real busy, but I keep having people that are messing up at times, and I have that old expression when they don’t follow what I tell them to do, you know, you give them books and they eat the covers.

You’re in a museum.

What kind of museum is this?

It’s a natural history museum.

Oh, fantastic.

I’m imagining a place with stuffed animals and dinosaur bones and butterfly rooms, that sort of thing, no?

Exactly what we have.

So you’re saying that sometimes you’ve got to talk to your staff or your colleagues and they’re just not getting a lesson, so you pull out the expression, you can buy them books, and all they do is eat the covers?

You give them books and they eat the covers.

And you explain it as much as you can, you put it in writing, you hand it to them, you read it to them, and when you go back to check what they did, you don’t even believe that they read the same thing.

Spence, how long have you been using that phrase?

You know, that goes way back, and again, it’s at least 20 to 25 years.

It’s one of those expressions that I am an expressionful guy, and I keep finding expressions pop up like that on a regular basis.

Do you have any idea where you got it?

Oh, no.

Yeah, I was curious if you knew where you had gotten it, because I have to tell you, I’m baffled.

I’ve been asked this before and I’ve seen different versions of it, like you can give them books and give them books and all they do is eat the covers.

Yes, yes, I’ve heard of that.

Yeah, and I just, I have tried to find the origin of this and I just have not been able to do it.

I mean, the idea is sort of, what, like you can lead a horse to the library but you can’t make him read?

Yes, ma’am.

Or like they’re unappreciative, you know, like they’re just goats or something.

I mean, that’s the image I get.

They’re not treating the books as content, they’re treating the books as fodder.

Right, I mean, you could not have done much more to give a person the basics and after they’re done with being handed that, they go and perform something totally the opposite of what you’ve just requested.

Right.

Well, let me tell you, Spence, this one is a bit of a stumper.

It does come up in a variety of different forms all over the internet.

It shows up in newspaper archives, I see it in a few books, I see it in fiction and non-fiction, but the oldest use I can find actually is kind of recent.

In 1985, in a story from the Los Angeles Times where an assistant secretary of state is explaining how Congress and the media are very difficult to educate about Central America.

And his way of putting it is, you buy them books and you buy them books and all they do is eat the covers.

And so he has his particular way of phrasing it, but it’s more or less the same thing that you’re using, right?

Yes, sir.

Yes, sir, that is exactly…

But that’s kind of recent, but it’s not too far off from about 25 years, which is your guess, right?

Well, that’s what I was thinking, yes.

So, I mean, I don’t know that I listened to The Dear Gentleman when he spoke that, but if he did, maybe it did stick.

Yeah, it’s possible, but you know, the way he’s using it here makes me think that it was from a movie or television show.

It’s possible, right?

Oh, absolutely.

Like, think about any kind of sitcom or any kind of movie that was big in the day, you know, I wonder.

I wonder if it, like, maybe it’s a line in Fast Times at Ridgemont High and I’ve just forgotten about it.

You know, it could be, because, you know, the thing is, I look at all these databases, but they’re woefully short on things like movie scripts and television scripts.

I don’t have a really good way to search this stuff, and that stuff has got such a huge cultural impact on us, sometimes you just never know, you know.

The whole country might have picked this phrase up from one episode of Rhoda that aired in, you know, whatever, 1978.

Right, right, you know, it almost are the smaller versions of The Rocky Horror Picture Show.

Right, exactly.

That everybody remembers, you know, a certain line, but some of these become a little bit more mystic after a while.

Mm-that’s true.

Yes, indeed.

But anyway, I like this expression, though.

I think this is one to use.

This is one to keep.

This is a keeper.

Well, I believe that my fellow staff and workers will supply me with many opportunities to use this again.

Yeah, well, it sounds like you’ve got a great job there.

I’m a little bit envious.

Do you go and eat your lunch in the butterfly room and have a sandwich with the monarch butterflies or the swallowtails?

Well, that is one of the benefits, especially when it’s snowing outside and I get to sit in the tropics there and have them flying around.

That is a delight, to say the least.

It’s beautiful.

Oh, how cool, how cool.

And if you don’t bring enough lunch, you just go chew on a T-Rex bone for a while, right?

Yes, we have a woolly mammoth on the menu today.

Oh, yeah, have some mammoth steaks.

Yes, sir, yes, sir.

Well, Spence, it’s been a delight talking with you today.

Likewise, thank you.

Thank you, take care of yourself.

Bye-bye.

Stay warm, bye-bye.

All right, you too.

Grant, we’ll have to ask around.

I love this expression.

What’s your favorite version of it?

I think the best thing is it’s all about eating the covers.

So no matter how much the rest of it changes, it’s the idea that they’re such savages that they don’t appreciate literature for its words, that they just think, “Well, what can I possibly do with this?”

They act as if they’re goats.

And now I’m wondering if more and more people are reading electronic books, if they’re going to be chewing on the…

You buy them computers and you buy them computers and all they do is eat the keyboard, something like that.

Yeah, exactly.

1-877-929-9673.

And by the way, you can call that number any time of the day, even when the show is not on the air.

We have voicemail and we listen to all of it.

You can also email us at words@waywordradio.org.

Martha and I read every message also.

And you can participate, of course, in the discussion forum at waywordradio.org/discussion.

Grant, there was a mind-boggling piece in the New York Times recently.

It was about the great Japanese cell phone novel.

These are novels that are originally written and meant to be read on cell phones.

And more and more of these “novels” are being republished in book form.

And Grant, it turns out that, get a load of this, last year in Japan, 5 of the top 10 best-selling novels in book form were actually cell phone novels.

OMG!

Where do I start?

Well, get out your cell phone and call us to talk about language, writing, wordplay, whatever.

The number is 1-877-929-9673.

Or you can send us an email, of course, from anywhere in the world.

The address is words@waywordradio.org.

Stay tuned for a word puzzle and more of your calls, right here on “A Way with Words.”

You’re listening to “A Way with Words.”

I’m Grant Barrett.

And I’m Martha Barnette.

And joining us once again is our quiz guy, John Chonesky.

Hiya, John.

Hi, Martha.

Hi, Grant.

How are you?

What’s up, buddy?

What’s cooking over there?

You know, sometimes I have a reason for coming up with a certain quiz, and sometimes it’s just no reason whatsoever.

Well, today, for no good reason, I’ve decided that I’d like you both to act like monkeys this week.

Again?

As opposed to other weeks.

So I’ve created three short quizzes with two-word answers.

Now, the answers to the first clues have the sounds “oo-oo,” as in “pool room.”

The answers to the second clues have the sounds “-” as in “pot shot.”

Oh, no.

And the answers to the third quiz have the sounds “ee-ee,” as in “cheatsheet.”

Oh, no.

I don’t know why I came up with this.

It’s clever, though.

Let’s see how it goes.

At the very least, I’m sure you monkeys will amuse the kiddies out there.

OK, here we go.

Quiz number one. “oo-oo.”

This event occurs about once a month when the Earth’s only natural satellite is positioned between Earth and the Sun.

But that’s not quite right, is it?

Full moon?

No?

What else would it be?

Something moon?

Oh, I was going to say lunar…

New moon.

New moon is correct, yes.

Good.

OK, here’s the next. “oo-oo.”

You’ll hear this phrase in a fairly common sarcastic comment in response to a stupid or crass action.

Usually followed by “ex-lax.”

Smooth move, “ex-lax.”

Very nice.

Every time you do “oo-oo,” I think of “Welcome Back, Cotter.”

Ooh, Mr.

Cotter!

Mr.

Cotter!

Mr.

Cotter!

OK, here we go. “oo-oo.”

This 1979 collection of humorous essays by Steve Martin takes its name from the title of a short story within the book.

It describes some mean, nasty footwear.

Oh, I was going to say “excuse me,” but it’s something shoes.

It’s,

It is.

Cruel, cruel shoes.

“Cruel Shoes” is right.

It was his first book, and it was delightful.

Yes, very nice.

OK, here we go. “oo-oo.”

This two-word phrase refers to a group of famous people, the elite of the elite.

It’s also the name of a number of reference publications, generally consisting of concise biographical information on people who are outstanding in their field.

Who’s who. “oo-oo.”

OK, that’s the… “oo-oo.”

That’s fine.

I’m still working on the giraffe.

Do you want to hear the giraffe?

Sure, how’s the giraffe going?

It’s pretty good.

I don’t want to criticize your peacock, but my daughter actually does real mean peacocking.

Oh, does she?

Oh, nice, nice.

Well, I went and downloaded the audio clips from Animal Planet, so…

There you go.

All right, that’s our “oo-oo” quiz.

Let’s move on to “-“

OK.

This phrase for an electric cooker that maintains a relatively low temperature over a long period of time is actually a trademark.

Crockpot!

Crockpot is right.

I always waited for that to explode.

They never did, though.

They were sure to explode. “-“

In a famous urban legend, life cereal mascot Mikey suffered a grim fate after eating these crackly carbonated pebbly candies.

Oh, pop rocks.

I loved those.

Who ate those by the carton?

They were great.

Mikey, by the way, whose real name is John Gilchrist, is fine, by the way.

Is he?

He’s just great, yes.

He likes it!

This comic actor gained fame in the 1960s as Deputy Barney Fife on The Andy Griffith Show, and in the ’80s as Landlord Mr.

Furley on Three’s Company.

I don’t know, Andy, wait!

Don Knotts.

That’s a pretty good Don Knotts, man.

Way to go.

Love him.

Let’s move on to “ee-ee.”

An activity that most people typically engage in each night is divided into several stages.

The rapid eye movement stage of this activity actually takes place after stages three and four, which feature this intense form of it.

Deep sleep.

Deep sleep is right.

Thank you for sitting through my questions.

I was going to blurt it, but I figured he worked so hard for his money.

Thank you. “ee-ee.”

This two-word phrase is used to describe a group whose members are among the most talented in their particular field.

I have a further clue for you if you need it.

What’s that?

I was going to say “elite,” but…

So they’re the top of their…

The top of their particular field.

I’ll give you more of a clue.

The 1992 U.S.

Olympic basketball team was referred to…

The Dream Team.

I just realized I said the word “team” in the clue.

But you got it.

Basketball was the biggest giveaway, though.

Composed of professionals such as Michael Jordan, Magic Johnson, and Larry Bird.

Dream Team is right.

Let’s go on to the last one.

The last “ee.” “ee-ee.”

There are those that say the antioxidant benefits of this hot beverage that originates from China are substantial.

All I know is, I enjoy a decaf with just a little bit of honey.

And I like the ice cream flavor, actually.

Yeah, that’s the best.

Green tea.

Green tea is right.

You guys, you monkeys did just great.

Fantastic.

For a couple of monkeys.

John, I’m craving bananas.

I know it.

Oh, man.

Well, thanks as always, John.

It’s my pleasure.

Thanks very much.

Thanks, John.

And if you have a question about language, give us a call.

1-877-929-9673.

Or email us.

The address is words@waywordradio.org.

Hello, you have A Way with Words.

This is Flo Sykes, out in Pacific Beach.

Hiya, Flo.

What’s going on out there?

You out in P.B.?

Oh, lovely.

Well, what’s up?

Well, I had been interested in what had happened to the word dramaturge, which used to mean playwright.

And all of a sudden it’s being used all sorts of strange ways, including as a verb.

I got a letter where they said this one had dramaturged the production.

I want to know why the word’s changed or if it has officially or what’s going on.

Okay, dramaturge.

D-R-A-M-A-T-U-R-G.

Do you put the “e” on the end of that or no?

Hey, don’t ask me how to spell.

Well, now, Flo, what has you interested in this?

Well, besides the fact that I spent my life teaching drama, I have a niece now, and she went off to college.

And she came back from a vacation or on a vacation and said she was going to be the dramaturge for a production.

And I said, “You’re going to be the dramaturge?

That play’s already been written.”

And in her case, they were using it as the assistant to the director.

And then I got a letter from the University of Denver where they had this new person joining the faculty who was a wonderful dramaturge and who had dramaturged all kinds of things.

And I went to the dictionary and then I said, “Call A Way with Words!”

Put on the red siren and the flashing lights.

That’s right.

When the dictionary isn’t good enough, call A Way with Words.

Well, let me ask you a question.

So when you’re speaking about this word changing out from underneath you, it’s because you’re in the business and you would know, right?

Well, at least I went through 70-some years thinking I knew.

Wow, well, you should know after all that time.

You should know.

Let me say, though, you’ve identified exactly how this word has diverged.

And it’s not that the old meaning has disappeared.

No, it’s still very common, and all of the dictionaries that I own will tell you that.

But many of them, and not all of them, which is the clue here, many of them also include the second meaning that you’re talking about, where a dramaturge isn’t only a playwright, but a dramaturge can also be a person who does research about a play or adapts a play for use in a particular production.

Well, and that was when I kind of wondered, when did that change start coming in?

Oh, that’s a tough one.

It looks like it’s in the last 20-25 years, and I think it was a slow build.

I think it’s not even that common now.

If you look, for example, for a dramaturge is a verb, you come up with a few thousand hits on Google.

It appears in some journals about theater and various things related to the— they’re filled with the jargon of the business of putting on a show.

So in a sense, this is just our language growing again.

Yeah, and it’s interesting that the letter that you talked about, where they verbed the noun, so to speak, and talked about dramaturging, is really a very typical way in which English changes.

Nouns become verbs, and verbs become nouns, and so forth.

And whether or not it sticks is going to depend upon how much people are accepting of that verb.

So people will try it and float it all the time, but if somebody like you and people like you say, “Yeah, I don’t really care for the verb,” you might actually find that you are successful, because it’s relatively new enough, that you’re successful in pushing it back and making the verb not last.

So you do have some say as a speaker of English on whether or not a word really catches on.

A little bit of say.

Flo, I think you’re right that we’re just watching the language change.

Well, and we don’t want English to stop growing.

It won’t be the biggest language in the world if it stops growing.

Well, it’s not just a matter of pride of size.

When the language stops growing, it means we have stopped growing as a culture.

Yes.

So thank you so much for your call, Flo.

I hope you enjoy the view out there.

I’m actually a little envious.

I only have gray skies and brick walls at my house.

He’s angling for a visit, Flo.

Come out any time and have a glass of wine on the balcony and look out over the water and watch the sun go down.

All right, I’m just a few miles from you.

It’s refreshing just to hear you say that.

Okie doke.

Take care of yourself.

I’m glad you called us.

Well, and thanks for the answer.

Ok, bye bye.

Bye bye.

If you’ve got a question about language, we’d love to hear it.

Martha in particular likes to talk about the Greek roots of words.

Give us a call.

You got it.

1-877-929-9673.

And you can send us an email to words@waywordradio.org.

I just love seeing that fossilized Greek poetry inside the English language.

Hello, you have A Way with Words.

Yes, good morning, Martha.

Good morning.

Who is this?

This is Rod, Rod Parker.

Rod, where are you calling us from?

I’m calling from Queensland, Australia.

I’d like to put something to you.

All right.

Well, let’s hear it.

It’s a phrase that I’ve noticed being used particularly in Australia and may very well be used in your neck of the woods.

When somebody of high office, when they receive a high award or even get a really good result in an election, they like to say, “I’m humbled.”

And my feeling is that they really should be saying the opposite thing because I don’t think humbled is the right expression in that circumstance.

Aha, aha.

What do you think is going on there then?

I think they’re trying to be modest about their award and maybe it’s just an accepted way of accepting a good result these days.

But I think, though, that it appears to be quite the opposite of what they should be saying.

I completely agree with you, Rod.

It actually grates on my nerves a lot.

I think the people who say, “I’m humbled by this award,” they’re protesting too much.

But that’s kind of a social requirement that they say that.

They can’t very well say, “Damn straight, too right.

About time you gave me the award.”

No, I agree.

They don’t have to say that.

But I think they could accept it with grace.

I think there are plenty of other more appropriate terms such as, “I’m deeply honored.”

“I truly appreciate this award.”

It was highlighted in our recent federal elections here in Australia where the incoming Prime Minister, who received a landslide victory, his speech was started off with, “I’m humbled,” which I didn’t think was correct.

But then the outgoing Prime Minister, who suffered a big loss and who personally lost his own electorate, he’s the one who should have been saying, “I’m humbled,” but he didn’t say that.

So I don’t think they can be used in that way.

They should be swapped around.

Yeah, I agree with you, Rod.

I think it smacks of a little bit of false modesty or something, or at least awkwardness.

I like your solution of just saying something like, “Thank you.”

I think “deeply honored” perhaps says it all, that you appreciate what you’ve been given, but you’re not going overboard with any civility.

Exactly.

Well, Rod, I guess I shouldn’t say that we’re humbled that you called, should I?

Well, no, I’m humbled.

You’re humbled!

You’re not humbled, I am.

Well, no, but we’re mightily pleased.

We’re well pleased to take your call, Rod, and we appreciate you getting up in the morning to give us a ring.

Well, thank you very much for hearing my side of the story.

Thank you, sir.

Take care of yourself.

Bye-bye.

See you later, Martha.

Goodbye, Grant.

I’m reminded, Martha, of a scene in the Douglas Adams Hitchhiker Guide to the Galaxy books.

Did you ever read those?

No, I heard some of them on the radio. 42 was the answer to the big question.

The radio plays were excellent, but there’s a scene in there very early, and it’s in the radio play as well, where Arthur Dent, who’s kind of the main character, saves a spaceship and everyone on it by hitting a button in the nick of time.

And then another main character, Zafod Beebelbrock, says, “Ooh, that was very good thinking, you know.”

And Arthur replies, “Well, it was nothing really.”

And Zafod says, “Oh, was it?

Well, forget it then.”

I mean, so he’s actually taken Arthur at his word when Arthur’s using this false humility and responding, “Oh, well, never mind then.

If it really was nothing, then you don’t deserve the praise.”

And that’s kind of what we’re talking about here.

That’s sometimes what you want to do.

“I’m humbled.”

“Well, you are.

Then I’ll take your shoes and your wallet, please.”

I am not worthy.

Your humble hosts are awaiting your call at 1-877-929-9673, or you can e-mail us.

The address is words@waywordradio.org.

Hello, you have A Way with Words.

Yes, this is Florence May.

Hello, Florence May.

Where are you calling from, Florence?

I’m calling from Indianapolis, Indiana, in the heartland.

Hello.

Hello, Indianapolis.

Well, Flori, what’s up?

Well, I’ve got a question about the term “toehead.”

When I was growing up, I had very, very white, white blonde hair, and people would frequently ask me, “Are you an albino, or are you just a toehead?”

And I just always, I guess I kind of have two questions.

I’m curious about the real meaning, which I thought I knew until I threw it around to some of my relatives the other day.

And they actually came up with some variations, I guess, on the meaning, I thought.

But I’m also curious about the origin.

Well, now, are all your relatives toeheaded, too?

Well, actually, we have a very interesting combination.

People are either extremely blonde, extremely fair, very, very Scandinavian-looking, or they’re very dark.

Wow.

Nothing in between, just the two opposite ends of the spectrum.

In the same family.

In the same family.

So your question is just a little bit about the background of “toeheaded,” and that’s T-O-W, right?

Yes.

Right.

And, you know, I’ve mistyped that before.

Have you ever mistyped it as two-headed?

You have to watch that.

There’s a big difference.

Two-headed, yes, a very big difference.

Florie, the answer is actually very simple.

Toe is a very, very old word for flax.

You know, that fiber that comes from the flax plant?

Yeah.

And flax is a soft yellow.

It’s like the color of blonde hair.

Yeah, yeah, really, really light, just like your hair.

So it’s just a comparison.

People say your hair is flaxen.

It means exactly the same as calling it “toe-headed” or “toe-colored.”

Well, and that also makes sense because people will talk about, and you see it a lot of times in books where they talk about flaxen hair.

Exactly, exactly.

Very same thing.

It’s just an old word for flax.

Okay, well, interesting.

All right.

Thank you so much for your call today.

What color is your hair now?

It’s still blonde, and I think I’ll — as my hairdresser said, she said, “Flory, consider yourself lucky.

You’re one of the only people on the planet that will never have to color.”

Well, that’s good news.

That’s great.

That’s great.

Florie, thanks for calling.

Thank you for your call.

Okay, well, thank you.

We enjoy your show.

My daughter’s listened to it with me.

All right.

Great to hear.

Bye-bye.

Thanks.

Bye-bye.

Thanks again.

Well, if a question about language has you tearing your hair out, give us a call.

The number is 1-877-929-9673, or email us.

The address is words@waywordradio.org.

Coming up, test your knowledge of slang and jargon, and we’ll take more of your calls.

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You’re listening to A Way with Words.

I’m Grant Barrett.

And I’m Martha Barnette.

And now it’s time for Slang This, the game where you guess the meaning of some strange slang terms.

Today’s contestant is John Schwaller from Potsdam, New York.

John, welcome.

Hi there.

Well, say hi to Grant.

Hi, Grant.

How are you doing?

Hello, John.

What are you doing there in Potsdam?

I am a college professor, and I’m also president of the college.

Well, hello.

What college is that?

Hello.

State University of New York at Potsdam.

Oh, well, there you go.

Cindy College.

Awesome.

All right.

Groovy.

Wow.

Well, now you said that you’re a professor as well as the college president?

Yes.

What do you profess?

I’m a history and Spanish professor.

History and Spanish.

Wow.

Okay.

Well, do you have a favorite slang term in English or Spanish?

Actually, I have several in Spanish, but the one in English that comes to mind, especially this time of year, is “snow snake.”

I picked that up when I lived in Minnesota.

Ooh, I like that.

I don’t know what it is, but it sounds great.

It’s promising.

What is it?

Well, when you’re driving down the highway in blowing snow, normally at night you see it more, but in the daytime, too, when the snow makes those waves across the road.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

It looks like they’re wiggling across the road.

Oh, that’s great.

A snow snake?

Snow snake.

Love it.

All right.

Well, thank you for that, John.

And now let’s move on to our game.

Grant’s going to give you a slang term, and then he will give you three different sentences that suggest what that term might be.

Now, only one of those will be real, and the other two examples are fake.

So, John, your task is going to be to figure out which one of those three sentences illustrates how this particular slang term is actually used.

And chances are you won’t have heard the word before, so the trick is going to be to puzzle out its meaning, to use that professorial, deductive reasoning, and figure it out.

You got it?

Yes.

I just hope it’s like “quizam” and “snurt,” because those I actually heard.

-oh.

Well, I tend not to repeat, although I’ve been accused of it.

Unfortunately, yeah.

All right.

Well, here we go.

Professor, doctor, what do you like to be called?

Whatever.

All right.

The first word that we’re going to guess today is “donk.”

D-O-N-K.

And the first clue is, “When volcano ash blackens the sky, meteorologists call it donk.

If you wake up right at that moment, you can’t tell if it’s a dark day or a bright night.”

And the second clue for donk, “I spent my teen years cruising in the donk past the Dairy Queen, around behind the Western Auto, and then back again through the Walmart lot.

Must have done that every night in the old Impala for years.”

And then the third clue, “Someone with a big booty has a badonkadonk.

If you have an itty-bitty booty, that’s just a donk.”

So what is a donk?

Is it A, when it’s impossible to tell whether it’s day or night?

Is it B, an old car, especially a big sedan?

Or is it C, a small derriere?

Whoa, John, what do you think?

Whoa, those are tough.

I have lived around volcanoes.

You have?

Well, I lived in Montana and everyone talked about Mount St.

Helens and I don’t remember that in the conversation.

Oh, okay.

I once was young and used to drive cars like that, but I don’t recall that either.

And similarly, one’s posterior.

This is tough.

I’ll go with the posterior.

Unfortunately, the answer is B.

A donk is just another name for an old beater.

For an old car.

For a whip, for all the thousand other names that young men have for the cars they inherit from their parents or their grandparents.

I think it’s actually short for donkey.

Oh, okay, gotcha.

Well, unfortunately, my son’s never used it on me.

Yeah, slow and recalcitrant, not always willing to do what you want it to do.

That’s pretty much an old car.

But anyway, we’ve got one more for you.

Take a listen to this.

This one is an older term.

I know that for certain it dates back at least to the 1930s, so I’m sure you’re not that old, but maybe it’s not so new that you won’t have heard it before.

And the term is Baltimore wrench.

Baltimore as in the city of Maryland and wrench, w-r-e-n-c-h, Baltimore wrench.

And the first clue is, well, when the engine seized up, I hauled out the Baltimore wrench, gave it a few whacks, and the thing started up like a treat.

Now I keep that hammer and chisel in the truck in case I need it again.

And the second clue is, during the heyday of the paddle wheel boats, gamblers without enough money to buy back into a poker match would bet the Baltimore wrench, meaning that if they lost, they’d work in the engine room for the rest of the trip.

And the third clue, the automobile inspectors were always susceptible to what we called the Baltimore wrench.

A couple of hundred dollars in an envelope were enough to get you a passing grade.

So what is a Baltimore wrench?

Is it A, a jocular name for a hammer and a chisel?

Is it B, a way of betting labor instead of money at the poker table?

Or is it C, a bribe given to automobile inspectors?

Given the way that people like to make fun of their neighbors, calling a hammer and chisel a Baltimore wrench, I mean, would make all the sense in the world for somebody either from Washington, D.C. Or maybe from Philadelphia.

I would go with that.

You are absolutely right, and your logic is impeccable.

Indeed, that’s probably what’s happening here.

Another term for it is the Oregon wrench or the canal wrench.

We had something like that when I grew up in Kansas.

It was the Oklahoma monkey wrench.

Yep, there’s tons of these.

And I pulled this term and a bunch like it from the unpublished lexicon of trade jargon, which was collected during the 1930s.

It’s something I’ve been working with for some years now.

There’s another variation.

It’s called the big red wrench.

It’s another name for an assemblyman cutting torch.

So great, you’re one for two, but you did pretty good, and you’ve been supporting about it as well.

Well, thank you.

I wanted to make certain I wasn’t blanked, so I’m glad that I’ve got at least one of them.

All right, thank you for playing, John.

Do I get a prize?

You win a Cadillac, sir.

Or is it just the honor of the appearance?

You get a great big donk.

John, for playing our game today, we’re going to send you a whole book of interesting terms, and I know you’re going to love it.

It’s called Weird and Wonderful Words by Erin McKean, and it’s a book that is truly “ostrobogulous.”

Superb.

Indeed.

Thank you very much.

Thank you, John.

All right, thanks for playing.

If you’ve got a question about language, give us a call, 1-877-929-9673.

Or email us.

The address is words@waywordradio.org.

Hello, you have A Way with Words.

Hi.

Hi, who’s this?

This is Ian from Washington, D.C.

From Washington, D.C.

Hello, Ian.

What’s happening in D.C.?

Well, I was thinking about the word “gray,” the color, and how it can be spelled two ways, G-R-E-Y and G-R-A-Y.

And, you know, I’ve been thinking about this for a while.

The first thing that occurs to me is it’s one of those British-American things, like “curve” and “pire.”

But unlike those words, you pretty much have a choice in America of how you spell the word “gray.”

And no other words really come to mind that you can do that.

There are words you can pronounce two ways, but as far as spelling goes, I think “gray” is sort of unique.

I mean, I guess maybe “mustache” is another word sort of like that.

I just find it a little bit strange.

Boy, so when somebody has a gray mustache, you just sort of…

Go crazy with the spelling.

Ooh, I’m a wacky guy.

Well, you’re right.

You’re absolutely right.

You can, in the United States, choose one or the other.

However, I should say that in the United States, most people probably use the G-R-A-Y spelling.

And in the U.K., most people seem to use the G-R-E-Y.

That’s just the way it’s come down.

This isn’t one of those hard and fast spelling rules like “color” or “favorite” or “tire,” that sort of thing, where you’re immediately going to be called out as a foreigner if you spell it one way or the other in the wrong country.

And what’s really interesting, if you look in the reference works, such as the Oxford English Dictionary, of course, this is often our go-to reference work of choice, they have a really cool note for “gray.”

And they talk about the fact that some people believe that the E-Y spelling and the A-Y spelling indicate a slightly different kind of gray.

I feel that.

I really do.

Do you feel that, Ian?

Not exactly, but I do definitely have my preference.

I prefer to spell it G-R-E-Y.

I guess it’s some kind of a synaesthetic thing because the word looks gray to me.

And the G-R-A-Y spelling, for some reason I get red from that.

Maybe I’m very strange, but I much prefer the G-R-E-Y.

You know, I have always felt like the E-Y is a lighter gray and the A-Y is a darker gray.

And maybe I’m nuts, too.

Well, no, a lot of people say that.

But there is something happening here where we have a tendency to kind of avoid overlap.

And so when we know that a word can be spelled two ways, we seek out a difference between the spellings.

You’ll often see this, for example, with theater, the T-E-R spelling and the T-R-E spelling.

And I do that sometimes.

The T-R-E, for me, is the art of theater.

And the T-E-R is the place where the theater is acted.

But these kinds of things are post hoc.

We do them because we’re looking for a way to rationalize the language and trying to discern rules that will allow us to choose one spelling over the other.

But you mentioned, though, that you felt that this was one of those words that was unusual because we have the choice of going either way and there’s no real baggage there.

There’s no reason why you couldn’t use E-Y or A-Y, except maybe if you were working for a newspaper, the preferred one or the other.

Or Crayola.

Crayola crayons.

They are G-R-A-Y.

Yeah.

There are a few other words, though, words like traveled, the past tense of travel.

Oh, yeah.

And canceled.

Right.

Canceled and traveled.

You can use a double L or a single L in the United States.

Whereas in the U.K., almost always people use the double L.

Right.

Well, Ian, you sent us in a really interesting direction.

I hadn’t really thought about some of that.

I guess it’s kind of a gray area, huh?

Har, har, har, har.

Oh, my gosh.

I walked right into that, Ian.

I totally — I did not see that coming.

She’s got a red face over it.

I had to make the joke before you did, so I knew you weren’t going either way.

I wasn’t going to.

What are you accusing me of?

But anyway, thank you for your call.

It’s fun.

I like these musings on simple things like this.

I just like to ponder the craziness that is — English is so inconsistent.

I love these little potholes like this.

Right.

Me, too.

Ian, thanks a lot for calling.

All right.

Thanks for taking my call.

All right.

Bye-bye.

Bye, guys.

You’re right, Grant.

I do love those nuanced questions like that.

And it is kind of nice, as he put it.

You and I are used to arbitrating these.

Some of these decisions are difficult, and it’s hard to convince ourselves.

They’re hard to convince other people and their sides.

You should think of the fun fight we always have over a website, one word or two, capitalized or not, right?

The gray really doesn’t bring that kind of anger out in people, does it?

No, why is that?

That peevishness.

No, I don’t know.

It’s four simple letters.

If you’ve got a question about colors, we’d love to hear it.

Give us a call, 1-877-929-9673, or send us an e-mail, words@waywordradio.org.

Hi, you have A Way with Words.

Hi, this is Terry from San Diego.

Hi, Terry, welcome.

Hello, Terry.

Hi.

My question is about an expression my mom used to use.

When I was a child, when I asked my mom where we were going, she sometimes would answer me, “Buxtehude,” and she said it in kind of a playful way.

My mom’s parents were fluent in German, so we thought Buxtehude was a German nonsense word or maybe someplace in Germany.

And then years later we found out Buxtehude was not a place, but a musician from the 17th century.

So my question is, was this a common regional expression in Germany, and what was the meaning behind it?

Yeah, Buxtehude was a Danish composer, right?

I believe so.

Yeah, yeah.

So did you ever go visit a Danish composer?

No.

But you have to spell this for me, Buxtehude.

Okay, it’s B-U-X-T-E-H-U-D-A.

All right, because the correct spelling is with an “e” at the end.

You’ll get better results with an “e” at the end.

The cool thing about this is that the Internet is an awesome resource, and if we Google this a little bit we can find pretty quickly that there is a German expression, “aus Buxtehude,” which means in English, if you translate it not literally but colloquially, “from the sticks” or “from nowheresville” or in the United Kingdom you might say “from the back of beyond.”

And so there is a German colloquial expression that uses that word in a way that’s very similar to the way your mother used it.

What do you think about that?

Well, that’s really interesting.

You’ll find a few variants in the spelling because some people have transcribed it differently, but if you Google that you’re going to come across it in just a few places, even in a couple of books about traveling in Germany that’ll talk about it.

Yeah, and actually it was the setting for a story by the Brothers Grimm.

I think it was the bunny and the hare or the hare and the turtle or something like that, but I think a lot of Germans thought of it as a fanciful place when it actually is a place in Germany, and so that may have contributed to the expression.

So it is a place?

Yes, there is a city there.

So maybe you’re going there, maybe you’re still going there.

Okay.

Well, thank you very much.

Okay, Terry, thanks for calling.

Okay, bye.

Take care.

If you’ve got a question about this sort of thing, we’d love to hear stories about language that you learned from your parents and your grandparents, these kind of things that are passed along that are mysteries to you but might not have been mysteries to them.

Love them.

Yep, fantastic stuff.

1-877-9299673.

And you can also send us an e-mail.

Sometimes it’s easier to write this stuff than it is to say it out loud, isn’t it?

The e-mail address is words@waywordradio.org.

[Music] On the subject, Martha, of cell phones and novels and things in the digital realm that have to do with literature, I was thinking about my very first attempt, this was about 10 or 12 years ago, to read books on an electronic device on a regular basis, and it was my PalmPilot.

I could download them off of the — you know, the Project Gutenberg, they have all this stuff that is out of copyright and they reformat it and stuff, and I could download it and read it there, and I would do that every day to and from work.

You mean like the great classics, right?

Yeah, some of the stuff that you always meant to read or some of the stuff that you hadn’t read in 15 years and that sort of thing, and you felt good about it because it was good literature and it fit in my little device.

But, you know, it never really stuck with me, and I think this is the problem that all of those electronic devices have, all of the e-book readers and the Kindle and this sort of thing, is you find yourself fiddling with them, making sure that the cables are plugged in, that you remember to charge them or you remember to sync them.

It’s one more electronic device in your backpack.

You know, it’s one more thing to get stolen.

It’s one more thing to forget in the cab or the hotel.

And, frankly, I still would, even this many years on, I’d rather just throw a couple books in my bag and go.

Just regular paper books.

Well, I don’t know, Grant.

I’m looking forward to the potential of carrying, say, 20 books in my backpack on one electronic device.

On vacation or something.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, or just, you know, when I’m grazing.

Where are you going that you’re going to need 20 books?

That’s a very good point.

As long as I have internet access, I’ll be happy.

I mean, if there’s school books there, that’s fine, but school books tend to be loaded with graphs and charts and color diagrams, and none of the e-book readers, none of these digital book readers, none of them do that well.

Is there some need that they can fill, though?

No, I think that need is already filled by the laptop.

I think the computer is already doing the job that they’re trying to do with the e-book reader, and I think they’re doomed to fail.

We’ll see different size computers make a claim on certain kinds of the book market, but I don’t see why I should buy a device for several hundred dollars that does a fraction of what I can get a laptop to do.

Well, that’s a good point.

I’ve lost more books.

And umbrellas, I could just see me losing one of those, what are they, about 400 bucks?

Well, that’s the other thing.

Some of them, they’re several hundred dollars.

That’s the other thing.

I like to give books away.

When I’m on the road and I finish a book, I hand it to somebody and say, “Here’s a book I think you should read.”

And you’re not going to do that with an electronic device.

No, you’re not.

You should both have it, and you can do some infrared syncing or something.

Well, what about that?

What about that?

What about people sharing their playlists on their iPod?

Maybe people share their book lists from Kindle or whatever other device they’re using.

Maybe.

I think it overcomplicates the simplicity of the personal recommendation.

“Here’s a book.”

That’s so easy.

Well, we’ll see.

Check back in again in five years.

And in the meantime, go to your phone and give us a call.

The number is 1-877-929-9673, or you can e-mail us.

The address is words@waywordradio.org.

That’s our show, but if you’re pondering a point of grammar or are curious about a word, leave us a phone message anytime.

The number is 1-877-929-9673.

Or send an e-mail to words@waywordradio.org.

You can also share your thoughts on our discussion forum.

That’s waywordradio.org/discussion.

Our senior producer is Stefanie Levine.

Tim Felten is our technical director and editor.

We’ve had production help this week from Dana Polakovsky and Michael Bagdasian.

“A Way with Words” is produced at Studio West in San Diego.

I’m Grant Barrett.

And I’m Martha Barnette, inviting you to join us next time.

That’s right here on “A Way with Words.”

Let’s call the whole thing off.

Yes, you like potato, and I like potato.

You like tomato, and I like tomato.

Potato, potato, tomato, tomato.

Let’s call the whole thing off.

But, oh, if we call the whole thing off, then we must part.

And, oh, if we ever part, then that might break my heart.

♪ So if you write to them ♪