Kathy from Huntsville, Alabama, remembers that her father would entice guests to stay awhile longer with the puzzling phrase We’re fixing to open up a keg of nails. Actually, the keg of nails in this case is a jocular euphemism referencing a different kind of keg — that is, one full of beer — the idea being that if the guests linger, he’ll crack open some more alcoholic beverages for them to enjoy. This is part of a complete episode.
Transcript of “Stay a While and We’ll Open a Keg of Nails”
Hello, you have A Way with Words.
Hi, this is Kathy Birch, and I’m calling from the Rocket City, Huntsville, Alabama.
Oh, we love Huntsville.
We had a good time there.
Oh, awesome.
Yeah.
I called in about a saying that my dad used to say, and he was kind of a, you know, long, tall Texan, you know, full of tall tales and colorful language.
And I can’t remember a lot of the things, but the one that I was always curious about was whenever we had guests over, when it was time for them to leave, that, you know, everybody would stand up and start saying goodbye.
And my dad would say, don’t leave now.
We’re fixing to open up a keg of nails.
And I always wondered about that.
Like, I didn’t know that nails ever came in kegs and what would be so great about opening one of those kegs.
It didn’t make people want to stick around?
Did they stick around, do a little light carpentry, something like that?
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah, I always wondered if it was maybe like an Amish thing, you know, where they would all get together and build a barn or something.
But he was from Texas.
That’s not a bad guess, but it’s a different direction.
A keg of nails looks a lot like a keg of alcohol.
Yes.
And so the suggestion is, when you say, stick around, we’re going to open a keg of nails, is that you’re actually going to get out another keg of beer or keg of liquor.
Oh, my gosh.
Yeah.
Well, that would be the reason that he said it, I would say.
This expression goes back to at least the 1860s.
You can find it just throughout all the places.
I had a heck of a fun time digging this one out of old newspapers.
In the old newspapers, they often talk about also cutting into melon, like a watermelon or some other kind of melon, and opening a keg of nails.
You’ll find it in newspaper ads, for example.
They’ll lure customers in.
Well, what they’ll say is, I love this, come by and have a lemonade.
And they’ll also say, we’ll open a keg of nails.
And so both of these, when they’re in a newspaper ad, are euphemisms for come by and have a drink of alcohol.
Because they couldn’t say, come by and get schnozzled.
They couldn’t say really, come by and have a whiskey with us.
So what they said was, come by to our hardware store, take a look at our lumber and tools, and have some whiskey.
So come by and have a lemonade, wink, wink.
Wink, wink.
Yeah, come by and we’ll open a keg of nails, wink, wink.
And so you’ll often find this mentioned again and again and again when people want to say we’re going to have some alcohol.
It’s just a kind of way of saying we’re going to have a drink.
During these times and places where alcohol was just a little more disreputable than it is now.
Okay.
Kathy, does that sound like your dad?
It does. It absolutely does.
This is a question that we have, for some reason, we have never talked about on the show before.
This is the first time we’ve answered it, Kathy, so thank you.
Oh, fantastic. Well, thanks for taking it from me.
Yeah, pleasure.
Take care now.
And next time you open a keg of nails, give us a call.
I sure will.
Thanks, Kathy. Bye-bye.
Bye-bye.
