Nominative Determinism Quiz — When Names Match Professions

You’re listening to A Way with Words, the show about language and how we use it.

I’m Martha Barnette.

And I’m Grant Barrett.

And there’s a strange man on the other side of the country who keeps calling.

And here he is again, our quiz guy, John Chaneski.

Hi, John.

Hi, Grant.

You keep calling me strange.

I’m not…

Okay, you’re right.

I’m strange.

I admit it.

You’re like eight feet tall, hilarious.

I’m eight feet tall.

You write for TV shows.

Yes.

And us.

And us.

I go crazy around dogs.

Maybe that’s not so strange.

But anyway, I have something very interesting for you today.

Are you guys familiar with the term nominative determinism?

Sure.

Yes.

Somebody has a name like Baker, and then it turns out that they work in a bakery.

Right, exactly.

Their names as words.

The hypothesis that people tend to gravitate towards areas of work that fit their names.

Well, I’m going to give you a description of a famous person and the career they perhaps were destined or nominatively determined to enter.

You tell me who it is, all right?

Now, except for the first two, these are all phonetic.

For example, can you imagine if the handsome Oscar-winning actor who was People’s Sexiest Man Alive twice had followed his last name and become a gravedigger?

That would have been a strange choice.

Yes, it would have been a strange choice for Brad Pitt.

Oh, I thought it was going to be somebody named Doug.

Could have been someone named Doug.

Doug Pitt probably would have been a good job for him.

We’ll start in the past with some no longer living celebrities.

Again, the first two are straightforward, not phonetic.

What would cinema be like if one of the most famous movie comedians had decided to join the clergy?

Or more specifically, join the army and then take an order?

Charlie Chaplin, of course.

Yes, Charlie Chaplin in the army.

Way to go, Padre.

All right.

He only starred in three feature films, but I doubt he would have changed careers and become an administrator in a college or university.

Oh, James Dean.

James Dean.

What did you say, Martha? Harry Bursar?

Aaron Bursar.

Bursar.

I can’t wait for there to be a famous person named Bursar.

All right, we’ll consider you up to speed.

Now, these are phonetic, though they’re still in the past.

Here we go.

Maybe when this glamorous actor was being fitted for one of her many grand costumes, she pined for a time when she herself could have custom-fit clothes for customers.

Oh, Elizabeth Taylor.

Elizabeth Taylor, yes.

Okay, let’s explore what some living celebrities might have done if they’d followed their namesake.

What former president had many careers, but as far as I know, never transported goods on a horse-drawn vehicle?

Gerald Ford.

No, not Gerald Ford.

No, this is, by the way, a living person.

Oh, Jimmy.

Oh, living person.

Jimmy Carter.

Jimmy Carter, right.

A Carter.

He could have helped the Bushes with their landscaping business.

Right.

Finally, what movie and TV actor might have decided to become a jockey?

At 5’3″, she has the height, and I’ve seen Stranger Things.

Winona Ryder.

Winona Ryder is correct.

Anyway, you guys did really great.

I’m glad you guys decided to become radio hosts instead of Grant becoming a nude model and Martha working on a very, very tiny farm.

I would be a great nude model.

You should see my rear.

I’m sure.

John, I don’t think you’re strange.

You do wonderful puzzles.

Thank you very much.

I’ll take your call anytime.

Very good.

As you can see, we do a lot of goofing around on this show, but we also talk about all aspects of language.

So give us a call, 877-929-9673, or send your questions and stories about language to words@waywordradio.org.