Dr. Quizguy and the Multiverse of Pun-ness

You’re listening to A Way with Words, the show about language and how we use it.

I’m Martha Barnette.

And I’m Grant Pear, and here he is, blowing the doors off the joint.

It’s our quiz guy, John Chaneski.

Hey, Grant. Hey, Martha. I’m sorry about the doors, by the way.

I promise I’ll fix those.

I recently saw a movie that took place in an alternate universe, and that’s one where one or two things have changed, resulting in a world similar to ours, but with just a few differences.

And that got me thinking about that one day years ago when I learned there was a radio show about language looking for a puzzle guy.

And I wondered, where would I be now if, instead of joining the wonderful folks at A Way with Words, I’d answered a phone message from, say, the Audubon Society and lit upon a radio show creating quizzes about nuthatches and northern flickers and ospreys?

In that alternate universe, I could have ended up on a show called?

Away with Turns.

Away with Birds.

Away with Birds is good.

Away with Turns, a little more focused, but yeah, I like it.

Away with Birds, we’ll go with.

Okay.

So I’ll posit a life-changing event in which my timeline skews off into another universe.

You just have to tell me, Away with what?

Here we go.

All right.

All right.

It’s 20 years ago, and I’m contacted by the U.S. Department of the Interior.

They want to produce a show about how they care and maintain the many buffalo and bison roaming America’s national parks.

What show is that?

Away with Herds.

Away with Herds. Yes, perfect.

I might even listen to that show.

Now, I’d have to cross the pond and live in London if I were recruited by the Upper House of Parliament for a show about the wackiness that they get up to.

What would that be?

Away with Lerds.

Away with Lerds. No, sometimes orthographically it’s similar.

And this pronunciation is different.

But in this case, it is…

Away with lords.

Away with lords, yes.

Sometimes, yeah.

I like this pronunciation.

Away with lords.

Sometimes I just change one letter, and it just makes something different.

Jerry of Jerry’s Bait and Tackle Shop in Charlotte, North Carolina, they decided he could fill an hour discussing nightcrawlers and red wigglers, but he needs a puzzle guy.

And that’s how I ended up on what show?

Away with worms.

Away with worms, yes.

Again, almost all of these I would probably listen to.

You guys know George R.R. Martin, the Game of Thrones guy?

He and I both grew up in New Jersey, and who knows?

If our paths had crossed, we might have worked together on a show about medieval weaponry.

What would that have been?

Away with swords.

Away with swords, indeed.

Say halberds.

Away with halberds.

I like that, too.

Now, finally, this one is somewhat different from the others.

This one’s a very different universe.

Instead of a descriptive show that illustrates the many different variations in how language is used, what if this were a prescriptive show that definitively stated rules for using English?

Instead of A Way with Words, we would be on…

The way with words.

The way with words, yes.

Some sort of terrible, horrible timeline where you guys tell people exactly how they’re supposed to talk.

We would never do that, of course.

Instead, I like the timeline that we’re in.

Just one of the ways with words.

Just one of the ways with words.

A possible way with words.

Anyway, you guys were fantastic.

Good job, A Way with Words.

Oh, man, John, that was great fun.

Thank you so much.

Thanks.

And we know you have A Way with Words, and we’d love to talk with you about it.

So call us, 877-929-9673, or send your thoughts about language to words@waywordradio.org.