Listeners weigh in on a call about what language to use with a co-worker who continually apologizes for being late, but doesn’t change their behavior. This is part of a complete episode.
Transcript of “More Things To Say To A Late Coworker”
Here’s another response from a listener about our call about the co-worker who was habitually late to work and always apologizing.
But the apologies weren’t really apologies.
They were more like excuses.
We heard from Muriel Vasconcelos, who’s a translator here in San Diego with a background in sociolinguistics.
And I liked her response so much, I just wanted to read the whole thing, talking about how to relate to people in the workplace under those circumstances.
She says,
Candor can be highly effective. People always want to know what others think about them.
The late woman’s repeated apologies are an effort to get feedback.
She wants an answer, especially the answer she wants to hear, and candor instills respect.
In the office, the first rule of radical candor is that it has to become part of the workplace climate.
Otherwise, a single comment will stand out as hurtful.
The boss is responsible for establishing this climate and for correcting the woman who’s out of line.
The second rule is that a criticism should be tempered with compliments, with a ratio of more compliments to criticism.
Always start with a compliment.
In the meantime, your co-worker might say,
You know, it’s hard on the rest of us when you come in late.
Is there something we could do to make it easier for you to get here on time?
Or just the last sentence by itself, even though it might not be realistic.
It shifts the burden of the attack away from the offender, and also asking questions helps to break up bad habits.
I thought all of that advice was really terrific.
That’s wonderful, yeah.
She’s really summarized a lot of human interaction books that I’ve read about how to get things out of people without making them feel like you’re attacking them.
Yeah, certainly the compliments.
But I think the one that stood out most for me was the setting the office culture as a place of candor, right?
It can’t just be that one time.
It’s got to be consistent.
So they know that they’re not being singled out.
Right, exactly.
Yeah, consistency.
That’s a great point.
877-929-9673.
