Mommy and Mama

Hello, you have A Way with Words.

Hi, this is Colleen calling from Bowling Green, Ohio.

Hi, Colleen. How are you doing?

I have a question for you about my partner and I, we’re both women, and we’re thinking about having a baby.

And I’m okay with mom. I want to go by mom. But she’s looking for something else, something that a baby will be able to distinguish me from her.

Because you can’t both be mom, right?

I mean, we could. I know that some people have done, like, Mama Colleen and Mama Sheena would be the two of us, but she doesn’t like that.

Yeah, the lesbian couples that I know, that’s the way that some of them do it.

Yeah.

Yeah, around the L word. Mama T and Mama B.

Right.

Around the L word, yeah. But she doesn’t like Mama S. She doesn’t think it sounds good.

Mama S. What’s her name?

Sheena.

Sheena. What about, and did she try on all the different other words for mama or mother or mommy?

Well, she speaks Russian and Spanish, but both of those sound similar to mom, mama. So she’s looking for something that is easily distinguishable.

Well, Colleen, yeah, it’s tricky because one of you will be the biological mother, and the other one will be the non-biological parent.

Well, unless they adopt.

Well, yeah, what are you going to do?

She’s going to be the biological mother.

Oh, she’s going to be the biological mother.

Right.

Yeah, a lot of friends in my circle go by mommy and mama or something very similar, but the kids seem to understand that.

Yeah.

Russian, Spanish, English. There’s so many options to choose from in all three languages, right?

Yeah, well, we saw a bunch of people in the online community that are using baba, which I guess means father in a lot of different languages.

I think it actually means mother in one or two as well, but yeah.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah, because the sounds tend to occasionally switch roles. B is often, B’s and P’s are often with the father, but not always. And M is often with the mother, but not always.

Yeah, you know, Colleen, the friends that I’ve talked to about this say, you know, don’t sweat it too much because the kids probably will come up with something.

So that, you know, I have friends whose kids call their parents Mama and Gigi or Mama and Didi. And it just sort of evolves, sort of like the names for grandparents do.

I mean, I called my grandparents on one side, Grandmother and Grandfather, and on the other side it was Mama and Papaw.

Well, this is a bit of a puzzle. How would you feel if we threw this out to our community to see if they could come up with something for you?

Oh, I would love to hear back from anybody.

Oh, great. We have at least nine months, right?

Yes, more than that.

Okay. Because you’re still talking about possibly having a baby, right?

Right, yes.

Okay, well, let’s see what people say because I’m sure more and more couples are grappling with this, and it’d be good to hear what they have to say about that.

So, community, here we are. Listeners, what should two mothers of the same child call themselves? Or, for that matter, two fathers. It’s interesting either way.

And also we’d be interested to hear how you decided, whether you’re homosexual or heterosexual, what your child should call you.

You can send us an email to words@waywordradio.org or give us a call, 1-877-929-9673.

Colleen, best of luck to you and Sheena.

Thank you very much.

Okay.

Thank you.

Take care of yourself.

Thanks.

Bye-bye.

Bye.