The “Me vs. I” Squabble

Hi, you have A Way with Words.

Hi, this is Troy Hester from Huntsville, Alabama.

Hi, Troy. Welcome to the program.

Hi, Troy.

Hi, Grant. Hi, Martha.

What’s going on in Huntsville?

I don’t know. My wife and I are in New York City today.

Oh, well, we’re in New York City. That’s my old stomping ground.

Oh, great. Yeah, we’re visiting. She’s at Columbia University for a seminar, and I’m carrying her bag.

Good man. Good man. What’d you call us? What’d you call about today?

I recently gave away a daughter.

In front of 400 people, the pastor asked me, who gives this daughter to be married?

And I thought about this quite a bit.

I guess the background’s in order.

I was kind of a grammar Nazi with my two girls, especially when it came to me versus I.

And if I caught them in what I perceived was a mistake, I would correct them mercilessly.

So, the day of the wedding, the pastor asked who gives this woman to be married,

And I said, her mother and me.

Now, I had thought carefully about that,

Because her mother and I didn’t seem to make sense to me,

Especially if I, the trick that I normally use is removing the second person.

And when I do that, it just sounds, it sounds more correct to me.

I don’t have any more justification than that.

Who gives this one a marriage?

Me.

So since I’ve done that, though, my offspring,

That I remember I tortured as they were growing up,

Have kind of turned on me.

They’ll do that.

And they bring up this poppycock about implied verbs.

I think they’re making it up.

But we thought we would lay this controversy at your feet

And let you make judgment.

Oh, now.

I need to know, am I courageous or am I simply foolish?

Or do you have to do the wedding over?

No.

Believe you me, no.

The 400 people have come and gone.

I was going to say, you’re not calling us right now from the wedding aisle, are you?

No.

What am I supposed to say?

It’s burned into our family history, for better or worse.

Well, I hope that’s the least of the problems in your family.

Or the most of the problems in your family.

So the question on the table, Martha, is,

Should he, when the preacher said, who gives this woman in marriage?

Should he have said her mother and me or her mother and I?

Oh, boy.

What’s throwing me off is that you said you really thought about it.

You really thought this through.

I mean, if you were just sort of nervous and sweating there in your suit and tugging at your collar

And they said, who gives this woman in marriage?

And you just kind of blurted, her mother and me.

You know, that might be sort of a natural way to do it.

I think technically there’s an implied verb there.

Her mother and I are giving her away.

You would say, if you were the bride, you would say,

Thanks for giving all these wedding gifts to my husband and me, right?

Because it’s the object of the preposition.

But I think technically…

I think you’re right, Martha.

Troy, I’m sorry to say, but it should have been her mother and I.

Which means that you’ve raised your children really well.

Well, it means I have to leave the country now.

Canada’s nice.

I’m close.

You’re close.

You know, I may…

Yeah, it’s like a nine-hour drive from New York City to Canada.

I can never face my family again, you realize.

Oh, really?

I need the 400 people in the setting.

But let me just…

You don’t understand.

If I had been the least bit generous when I was correcting my children, I may have been forgiven this.

But circumstances, they are.

I don’t think they will ever forgive.

Well, what you need to do then every time they bring this up and say,

Well, you know, your mother and I are working on the will right now.

And so maybe they’ll clam up about it.

I’ll tell you, since you’re in New York City, Saks has some very nice gifts on the Julie aisle, if you have apologies to make.

Or Tiffany’s over on Fifth Avenue.

Connection’s breaking up.

I’m sorry.

I did hear nothing about buying Julie.

Troy, we’re going to thank you for calling us.

Drop us a line.

Let us know how they respond.

I bet they love you so much they’re just going to be good natured.

They’ll rib you once in a while, but it’s all love, right?

Okay. Also, I’m going to start a Facebook group for the abolition of implied verbs.

We’ll join.

Good luck with that.

Okay. Thanks, guys.

Enjoy your trip.

Bye.

Bye-bye.

Take care.

Oh, bless his heart.

Family disputes are something we can help you resolve or at least make fun of.

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