The Etiquette of Correcting Someone’s Pronunciation

Hello, you have A Way with Words.

Hi, Martha and Grant. This is Christine Ruffner calling from Denver, Colorado.

Hi, Christine. Welcome to the show.

Hey, Christine.

Hi. I have actually a language etiquette question that I was hoping to get y’all’s thoughts on today.

Okay.

Sure.

Yeah, fire away.

Okay. I’m wondering how you approach it when there’s a word, often a proper noun, and there’s a difference between the correct pronunciation and the common pronunciation.

And I guess you have an example.

Yeah, sure. So for example, there’s a Japanese clothing store found across the U.S. And for years I thought the English pronunciation was Uniqlo. And then I overheard a friend who has a very keen ear for pronouncing words and she pronounced it slightly differently with Uniqlo. And so I went online and found that that second pronunciation is actually the more correct pronunciation. But now when I mention the store around others, they are using the common pronunciation. And when I use what I believe to be correct, sometimes there’s an awkward pause or a strange look. And, you know, I want to be kind. Correcting other people’s pronunciation doesn’t always feel really necessary or it can come off as sort of haughty. Yet it also feels awkward to pronounce a word I know to be inaccurate. So I’m wondering how you all manage that, and if you have any advice for all of us language lovers who have encountered this.

So, Christine, you’re saying that you now pronounce it the common but incorrect way?

Sometimes, yes. Sometimes, no. It kind of depends who I’m with and how well I know them.

Yeah, I think those are good factors to consider. I mean, what are the stakes and what’s the purpose of correcting them? But that’s a really good, tricky question because, yeah, I’m thinking of things where you know the correct pronunciation, but it’s not that widely known. I mean, there’s a mountain here in San Diego called Coles Mountain. And for years, I called it Cowles because that’s what everybody said. But then I did some digging and it’s called Coals, but I’m always feeling awkward when I talk about going hiking on that mountain. I just kind of mumble. And also, if somebody pronounces something that I know to be incorrect, I don’t know. You know, I’m an Enneagram 5, so I’m always wondering if there’s something that I don’t know. So I often ask them a question like, oh, is that the way you pronounce it? I’ve always heard it this way.

Yeah, I like the manners and etiquette part of this, Christine. The manners of keeping one’s mouth shut are often better observed than possibly being helpful by correcting someone, right? Sometimes it’s just better to be quiet than to be right.

Right, right. And yet I can really relate to Martha’s feeling that there’s this sort of awkward, like, you pause before the word comes out of your mouth. And yeah, sometimes they say it one way, sometimes they say it the other way. And I’m not sure, yeah, if I should stick with one, if that would make me feel more comfortable. But I guess you’re right. It kind of depends who you’re speaking with.

I would personally, but that’s my personality. I would just keep saying it the way that I knew to be correct. But sometimes when this happens and I’m around people who might not know better, I’ll say both. I’ll say it my way and then I’ll like kind of exaggeratedly or even sarcastically say it the incorrect way.

Yeah, I feel humor is always a good option.

Yeah, so I’m not really telling them how to say it. I’m just demonstrating that I know that both exist. And, Christine, I’m wondering if you’ve ever been in a situation where everybody is pronouncing a word incorrectly and you know that they’re wrong and then they get confronted with the actual pronunciation of the word. You know, like if you go to that store, for example.

Yeah, I can’t think that I have, but that would actually be a good way. Bring everybody I meet to that store and ask the employees to pronounce it in front of them. Maybe that would solve it.

Well, that reminds me when I was trying to get to the bottom of the G-Y-R-O pronunciation, and I went to four different places that make G-Y-R-O, and I got four different pronunciations from the staff.

Y-Y-R-O, G-Y-R-O. It was just ridiculous.

Yeah.

But generally, we try not to correct people in public. If we have to, we do it privately and quietly. And it’s in very limited circumstances. And it’s about being helpful, not making yourself look smart. So obviously your kids or your grandkids, I think it’s your place definitely to gently and politely correct them privately. And people who work for you and particularly if they also work for the public or produce public-facing materials, those are good people that I think it’s fair to find a nice way to correct them or people that you hire. And there isn’t one exceptional case, and this requires a lot of judgment. It’s when people are in danger of making a very bad permanent mistake, like saying something truly embarrassing when they’re about to meet the in-laws for the first time or put something on tape that’s going to be seen by millions across the country. I mean, you really have to save them from themselves. But those are rare circumstances.

Yeah, I kind of think of it as the linguistic equivalent of spinach between your teeth, you know, like I would want to know.

Yeah, and I think especially when it’s a proper noun that you might not have ever heard pronounced before, that feels a little bit better. Maybe gently correcting someone’s pronunciation or demonstrating what you are confident the correct pronunciation is versus, you know, just a regular word.

Yeah, and you better be correct because the corrections, and I put that in quotes that Martha and I get all the time, most of them are incorrect. So miscorrections are more common than accurate corrections, at least in our world.

Yeah, yeah, we get those you of all people emails. You want to reply back and go, no, we got it right. You’re just not correct.

Christine, have we helped you at all or just muddied the waters?

No, this is very helpful. It’s helpful just to get another perspective on it, and especially from you of all people.

Well, we’re happy to help. Let us know if one of these comes up again, and we’ll hash it out one more time, all right?

Thanks, Martha and Graham. Big fan, and happy to speak with you today.

Yay.

Take care of yourself, Christine.

Thanks for calling, Christine.

Bye-bye.

Bye-bye.

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