In an earlier episode, we talked about whether it’s condescending to say you’re “proud of someone,” and the majority of you who responded agreed that it’s best to say something that doesn’t make it about you. This is part of a complete episode.
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When my children were growing up and they distinguished themselves in school or sports, I always said something along the lines of “I am so happy for you! You must be very proud of yourself!” I said this for the same reason your caller expressed, that is, I didn’t feel I should be proud because it was not MY accomplishment. They should feel proud. Of course, other parents were telling their kids they were proud of them. I learned later, when my kids were grown, that they would have like to hear “I’m proud of you” from me – I guess the subtle distinction was lost on the youngsters – my bad (as they say, and I don’t, though I just did).