Sam from Abilene, Texas, wonders about the phrase lean on your own dinner, which can be used literally to mean “support your own weight rather than leaning against me,” or metaphorically, as in suggesting someone refrain from asking others to carry a burden they should carry themselves. Variants including leaning on your breakfast, lunch, and other meals. This is part of a complete episode.
Transcript of “Lean on Your Own Dinner”
Hello, you have A Way with Words.
Hello, how are you?
Great, who is this?
This is Sam, is this Grant?
Yep, sure, this is Grant. Where are you calling from, Sam?
Nice to meet you, Abilene, Texas.
Well, welcome to the show.
I’ve always wondered, because my mother, when I was little, we’d be in the grocery store, for instance. She’d yank me out of the toy section, and we’d go to the checkouts, and I’d be bored to tears. And leaning up against her, she’d gently push me away, and she’d always tell me, lean on your own dinner.
Well, my thoughts were, Mom, I’m not going to eat you. So what do you mean? I know she didn’t want me to lean on her. But I was just wondering if anyone had ever come across that, if anybody else was told that when they were little to lean on their own dinner. Lean on their own dinner.
So you’re hanging on to your mama, and she says, lean on your own dinner. Right? Is that on hearing?
My grandmother and my mother both said that.
Yeah.
Your grandmother, too.
Okay.
Yeah, Sam, it’s not just their phrase. This goes back to, gosh, at least the 1880s in this country. And it’s really picturesque. I mean, think about it. You’ve had your dinner a little while ago, and you’re digesting and minding your own business, and then maybe somebody rests their head on your shoulder, and now you’re supporting some of their weight as well as your own.
One of the earliest examples I’ve seen is something from a newspaper in the 1880s, 1884, where a couple is on the train, this elderly couple, and the elderly man leans on his wife and she’s overheard to say, you old baby, you can lean on your own dinner.
Okay. There’s a story from later that year in 1884 where there’s a city slicker hitting on a country girl on the train. He’s trying to mash on her, as they would say back then. And he’s kind of like hanging on her, literally hanging on her. And she’s like, lean on your own breakfast. I didn’t eat enough for both of us. All I ate this morning was four biscuits and two pieces of ham, two potatoes and nine slices of fried mush. And I don’t feel like holding you up. So just kind of emphasizing the corn-fed nature of the pretty country girl.
Yeah.
Well, okay. Well, good. I don’t feel so isolated.
Yeah.
No, you’re not, Sam.
All right. Well, Sam, do you have a family of your own that you’re passing that on to?
I do have family of my own, but I don’t know if I’ll pass it on or not.
Oh, yeah. Got to pass that one on. The good thing is you’re passing it on to listeners around the world. So thank you for that.
There you go.
Okay. Thank you, Sam. Take care now.
Bye, Sam.
Bye-bye.
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