If a Frog Had a Pouch

Hello, you have A Way with Words.

Hi, this is Allison. I’m actually calling from San Diego, California.

You’re nearby. What’s on your mind?

So I have this phrase that my husband says every now and then, that I have no clue where it came from or exactly what it means. And I’ve been searching everywhere, and the only thing I could find was sort of a similar version of the phrase as a Dan Ratherism.

Oh, boy. That’s a deep category. What’s this one?

Okay, so what he says sometimes is, sure, if a frog had a pouch, he’d carry a gun.

What does he mean by it? If a frog had a pouch, he’d carry a gun.

What he tells me is that it’s sort of sarcastic saying, I would if I could, but I can’t, so I won’t. It’s a version of that. And I think it’s from the South. His family, all of his family is from the South, and no one in my family is from the South. So, you know, sometimes there’s other things that I’m not quite sure what he’s saying, but that’s a whole other thing.

And what made you connected to Dan Rather?

Well, I just honestly did a Google search, and it came up as something he supposedly said on air once as well.

Yeah, he did. It was during the brouhaha after the 2000 presidential election, right?

Oh. He was on the air constantly, and everyone was watching, and people kept remarking on his folksy language.

Yeah, that sounds like him, yeah.

And so what he said, I’m looking at an article from the LA Times, if a frog had side pockets, he’d carry a handgun. It may have existed before that election, but boy, even looking for a wide variety of variations, it looks like Dan Rather, at the minimum, was the popularizer of it, that he spread the word.

There’s no understating how many people watched the television news after that election just to keep up with things. And so he had maybe had a lot of influence. And then articles were written about Dan Rather’s speech. And he’s a Texan. And he does have that. He has a rich appreciation for clever phrasing and a real knack for it.

Yeah, it reminds me of that Texanism. That’s as handy as hip pockets on a hog.

Oh, nice. That’s good. What does that sound like?

You know, my husband’s family is from Texas.

Oh, there we go. A couple other variations. If a frog had pockets, he’d wear pistols so he could shoot snakes. And if a frog had hip pockets, he’d carry a gun. But they’re all basically the idea of it is just ridiculous to think of a frog having pockets, much less having a weapon. And so whatever you’re asking for is just not going to take place.

So sort of like if wishes were horses, beggars would ride.

Beggars would ride. That’s quite interesting.

I know, right? If you want to just Google Dan Rather, I don’t know, metaphors, Dan Rather, Texanisms, and you’ll find a whole bunch more of these things.

Maybe we’ll share some later in the show.

Yeah, that sounds fun.

All right. Thank you. Take care.

Bye.

All right. Bye-bye.

Bye. Those mixed cultural marriages, sometimes things just come up, don’t they?

Yeah. One language here, another language there. It’s both supposedly English. It’s great. Diversity is the great strength of the English language, right?

I agree, yeah. Mix and match.

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