How to Say Sorry

Hello, you have A Way with Words.

Hi, hello.

This is Audra Antrim, and I’m from Bristol, but I’m on site right now with a client in Hartford.

Okay.

And I am dying to know the correct pronunciation of the word, what I say, sorry, when one apologizes.

And people always tease me.

I was born and raised in Connecticut, but they tease me and my sister and say, that’s because your father’s from Brooklyn.

My father’s from Brooklyn, New York, and he has a little of that, you know, sorry and very, and he has the New York accent.

And then other people have teased me because I’m half Italian on my mother’s side, and they’ll say, oh, you’re being emphatic.

That’s the Italian in you saying sorry.

However, my Italian grandmother used to always tease and say, it’s sorry.

What’s the sorry?

Sorry.

It’s sorry.

And then my husband, who is actually a southern black American, his family really says, sorry, sorry.

And my mother insists that it’s actually sorry.

That’s what my mother says.

Oh, my gosh.

I know.

There’s four different variations, and it comes up, and it’s such a good sentiment when one uses it.

So I figured, let me get the deal on this and figure out who’s right, and if there’s any merit to any of these different racial, ethnic, geographical reasons as to why we’re pronouncing it so many different ways.

Oh, my gracious.

I’m picturing this and then somebody says the word and then they feel like they have to apologize for it.

Exactly.

The vowel was wrong.

Say it right.

My son, my oldest son, who is in middle school, who says, sorry, like his mother.

People are like, what’s with the sorry?

So help.

I’ll tell you, you’re not going to resolve this happily unless you all agree that everyone’s right.

That’s the key.

Oh, we might be able to go there after a glass of wine, but go ahead.

Okay.

Let’s just lay it down a little bit.

Yes, there are regional differences in the pronunciation of this word, S-O-R-R-Y.

For some people, sorry and starry rhyme, S-T-A-R-R-Y.

For others, sorry and lorry rhyme, like the British word for truck, L-O-R-R-Y.

And other people say sorry.

I’m kind of exaggerating the pronunciation here in order that it can be really apparent to everyone.

And other people say suri.

I mean, again, exaggerating it.

And there’s different numbers and stuff.

As far as I know, most people say sorry, kind of to rhyme with the Indian garment, the S-A-R-I, the Indian Indian garment.

Yeah, yeah.

But in the Great Lakes region, including Illinois and Wisconsin, people tend to say sorry.

It’s a little different.

And those are the two dominant pronunciations.

But like I said, there are two others.

And then don’t forget about the Canadians.

There’s a Calgary dialect coach who claims that Canadians say sorry, as if it was spelled S-O-E-R-R-Y or something like that.

And that’s what it sounds like to me.

And actually, in my circle of friends in Brooklyn, as a matter of fact, we tend to mimic one of our Canadian friends when she says it because we’ll go sorry, sorry.

And usually when you say it that way, you actually don’t mean it.

So the Canadians always sound like that.

So you’re from Brooklyn, but you say sorry.

Well, I’m not from Brooklyn.

I lived there for 16 years.

I lived in New York for a long time.

But no, I say sorry.

I’m sorry.

I’m sorry.

And I mean it when I say I’m sorry.

I don’t think there’s a racial component.

I think your husband’s family probably is just, they belong to a geographic group that says it that way and not a racial group that says it that way.

So I’m sorry that we can’t give you a definitive answer, but.

You wanted to be right, didn’t you?

I didn’t, you know, I wanted to know the right way.

That’s the thing.

There are dialects in this country.

It’s not a monolithic nation of speakers.

And so the cool thing is we can get into those dialect differences and enjoy them and have a family laugh together about how we’re all a little different.

And that’s kind of nice.

Yeah, dialect means never having to say you’re never mind.

Sorry.

Dialect means never having to say you’re sorry.

Anyway, Audrey, you were great fun.

I’m going to invite you to my next party.

I’m telling you.

Thank you.

Listen by the whole family.

Thank you so much.

Oh, yeah, that’d be fun.

Have a wonderful day.

Sit back and shoot video, right?

The whole family arguing about sorry.

And then we’ll put it on YouTube.

Sorry.

I mean, sorry.

I mean, suri.

Love it.

I know.

I love it.

Such fun.

And I love words.

And you guys are fabulous.

And I’m just thrilled to have been part of this show today.

Thank you so much.

Thank you.

Thank you for calling.

Thank you for taking some time.

Bye-bye.

Bye-bye.

All righty.

Ciao.

If you’ve got a mild family dispute like this, we don’t want to hear about the divorce that’s underway.

But if you have a mild family dispute about language, give us a call, 1-877-929-9673.

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