To Have a Come Apart

Hi, you have A Way with Words.

Hey there, this is Jacob calling from Dallas.

Hi, Jacob. What’s going on?

I’ve been interested in a phrase that my grandfather used to say when I was a kid.

And it’s one that, I mean, just on the outset, it explains itself, but I’ve always been interested in where it comes from.

And the specific phrase is having a come apart, or specifically the way he used to say it is having a come apart.

Having a come apart.

In the cases where I’d say it is, you know, if either myself or a cousin or a little brother or something just started to freak out or, you know, had a breakdown, essentially, you were having to come apart.

After a handful of years, I started saying it outside of my family, especially when I moved from Odessa, Texas to Dallas.

And no one knew what the heck I was saying.

No one had heard of it before at all.

I would just get blank stares or questioning looks.

I was wondering if you guys could help me with that.

I’m not surprised.

It’s not that common.

It’s rare enough that it’s not in any of my specialty dictionaries at all.

But it’s common enough that if you look in digital archives of newspapers and books,

You will find enough uses of it to find that it’s not particularly regional either.

So it doesn’t belong only to Texas or the South or anything like that.

The earliest that I can find it is 1984.

I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s much older than that.

But your description of a come apart as being the same as a breakdown is a good one.

So it’s a falling to pieces, right, or losing your cool or losing the plot.

It’s the opposite of a come together.

Yeah, and I’ve said that a couple of times, but that even sounded stranger.

So out of curiosity, when you’ve seen it written or documented, how exactly is it spelled out?

Well, it is a noun phrase, which is one of the things that’s odd about it,

Because everyone can think of the verb phrase to come apart.

That’s really common, right?

Oh, she’s coming apart, meaning she’s having a nervous breakdown.

But to say someone is having a come apart is a space, C-O-M-E space, one word, A-P-A-R-T, a come apart.

And you might, sometimes I’ve seen a come apart hyphenated, C-O-M-E hyphen A-P-A-R-T.

Oh, really?

Yeah.

That’s interesting.

But usually, usually not.

So it’s a noun phrase, a come apart, a come apart.

I’m picturing a two-year-old, you know, having a meltdown.

But I like a come apart.

Yeah, a come apart.

And so I’ve seen this.

That’s 100% when it was used.

I can remember specific examples of my little brother having a come apart.

So I’ve seen it in newspapers and books from across the country, from coast to coast, north to south, from newspaper colonists and sports reporters and in political context as well, where people are talking about their own political party or an opposing political party having to come apart because they didn’t get their way or couldn’t get their way.

Well, I’m wondering if that’s probably where my grandfather picked it up, was reading some sports article about a football team or otherwise.

Given that you mentioned it was in the mid-’80s, that would make sense because I was coming up in the late-’80s.

Yeah.

So it probably would have been in his parlance at the time.

It’s a good one.

Jacob, thank you for calling.

Yeah, thank you so much.

I really appreciate it.

All right.

Take care now.

All right.

Cheers.

Bye-bye.

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