Gaslighting

Hello, you have A Way with Words.

Hi, this is Alice calling from Tampa.

Hi, Alice, how are you doing?

I’m doing well, sir. How are you?

Excellent.

What can we help you with?

I had a question about the term gaslighting. I had heard it a couple of times in the past few weeks. It came across in a book that I was reading, and I actually said it in conversation to someone when we were talking about something, and she was like, gaslighting, what is that? So I explained to her what I thought it was, and it got me thinking about where the term came from. And if there was a term for gaslighting before we had gaslights, I feel like the term kind of dates itself. So I was wondering what we would say before and kind of where it came from.

So, Alice, how were you using it when you were talking with your friends?

So we were kind of discussing some of the election things that were happening. And I said, and this is before we had actually gone through the election, and I said, I just kind of feel like I’m being gaslighted, like the things that I thought were true people are telling me aren’t true. So it kind of felt like I was crazy, even though I was absolutely certain that something had happened. Everyone else was kind of denying that it happened.

Right.

So that was kind of how I was using it. I understood one thing to be true based on something that had happened, and everyone looked at me like, that’s not a thing. That didn’t happen.

Gaslighting. So G-A-S-L-I-G-H-T, right? Gaslight? Gaslighting?

Correct.

Yeah, and you’re right that gaslighting is a form of psychological abuse in which abusers manipulate their victims into doubting their own perceptions, right? Just like you were describing. And it comes from a play that was eventually made into a movie starring Charles Boyer and Ingrid Bergman in 1944. In that movie, this creepy husband manipulates his wife into doubting her own perceptions. And among the things he does is he secretly dims and brightens the gas lights that are on the wall.

Have you seen that movie?

I have seen that movie a long time ago, but yes, I have seen it.

Okay, so you know. I mean, she’s seeing the gas lights flickering and going down and then going back up. And he tells her that that’s not happening. And it’s just one of the many things that he does to really mess with her mind. And, yeah, so that’s where we get the term gaslighting from that play and movie.

But before that, I guess what? Manipulation?

Yeah, probably just psychological manipulation.

Yeah.

But some people are really adept at it. And once you get that name for the practice, you’re like, wait a second, that explains that boss that I had. Or, wow, that’s why I really dislike that politician. Or, oh, that’s why I fell away with that friend, because they just were always denying things that I knew to be true.

Perfect.

So I wasn’t sure if it actually started with the play. I wasn’t actually familiar that it came from a play. I had seen the movie, but I wasn’t sure that’s where it came from.

So, yeah. And even though we don’t have gas lights anymore, I kind of feel like that’s just going to stick around. That’s just, there is no new kind of slangy term for what it is. And not only is it sticking around, but it seems to have new life. I’d say over the last five to ten years, I’ve seen gaslight again and again and again pop up when I’m reading for new words. And I think it’s here to stay. And it’s so distanced from its movie that I think it’s showing that it is a really successful term. And probably it reminds me of gold bricking in a way in that it’s going to stick around as a really solid compound that’s easy to say and easy to understand.

Well, this is great. Thank you so much, you guys.

Thanks for coming, Alice.

Yeah, sure. Appreciate it.

Take care.

Thanks.

Take care.

Bye-bye.

Bye-bye.

877-929-9673.