Drunk as Cooter Brown

Hello, you have A Way with Words.

Hello, this is Mac Barfield. Who is this?

Who is this? This is Martha Barnette.

And this is Grant Barrett. How are you doing, buddy?

Hey, Martha and Grant, I’m fine. How are y’all today?

I’ve got a question for you.

I listened last month to your show, and you were talking about John Brown.

And I thought it was so great.

So my question is, who is Cooter Brown?

Cooter Brown?

Who is Cooter Brown?

I’ve heard all my life, who is Cooter Brown?

You’re drunk as Cooter Brown.

Where did you hear it? Where part of the country?

Down here in Jefferson County.

I live in Monticello just outside of the capital here in Tallahassee.

Outside we’re in Florida.

We’re about 26 miles east of the capital.

And we’ve always heard it all my life.

So me and the wife, I told her about the show with John Brown, and I told her about Cuda Brown.

And she says, well, let’s look it up.

So we out with our search engine and looked it up.

And it said that Cuda Brown lived on the Mason-Dixon line before the Civil War.

And he had family on the north and the south.

And he did not want to fight against each other or against his family.

So when it was time to join up and they come around to get him, he was always drunk.

So he was drunk as Cooter Brown.

Oh, yeah.

So he was really drunk, huh?

He was really drunk.

He stayed inebriated the whole time.

Is there any truth to that or do you know the story?

No, it’s probably 100% hogwash, unfortunately.

Oh, man.

But it sounds so good, though.

Actually, when we looked it up, there’s a place in Louisiana, a restaurant or a bar.

They call it Cooter Brown.

And that’s where I got that news from.

In New Orleans, right?

Yes, sir.

That’s exactly where we found it.

No, it’s probably related to an older expression, as drunk as a cooter.

Cooter meaning a box turtle.

And the idea is that he’s swimming around in his own drink, you know?

I got you.

I got you.

Well, we’re going to keep saying drunk as Cooter Brown down here in Florida.

Oh, yeah.

He’s mythical at this point, right?

All kinds of legends pop up around him.

The one I love best is from a newspaper in 1936.

I’m talking about a black widow spider.

Her venom will knock a man colder than Cooter Brown.

He’s very good.

I like that one.

That’s very good.

But it’s not as good as, oh, man, you’re drunk as Cooter Brown.

But we really like that one.

That was good.

I really appreciate y’all having me on.

Oh, it’s our pleasure.

Thanks for calling.

I really appreciate it, Mac.

Good deal.

Y’all have a good day.

Take care now.

Bye, Mac.

Bye-bye.

You ever heard drunk is an autumn wasp?

An autumn wasp?

Yeah.

No.

Not quite sure.

Do they fly around crazily or something?

I could see them getting into stuff.

They’re attracted to sweet stuff.

And they’re looking for a place to lay their eggs before they themselves die, right?

So they’re frantic in their final days.

It’s a great life, right?

You drink a lot and lay your eggs.

Drunk as dancing pigs.

Ever heard that one?

No, never heard that.

I love the image, though, right?

Little piggies on their trotters prancing around.

Doing the can-can.

Oh, this is a classic one.

Drunk like wedding guest.

Yes, indeed.

Been there, seen that.

877-929-9673 is our phone number, or you can email us, words@waywordradio.org.