Don’t Get Swindled

Hello, you have A Way with Words.

Hello, this is Tim.

Hi, Tim. Where are you calling from?

Calling from Dallas, Texas.

Welcome to the program, Tim. How can we help you?

You bet. I listened to your program a little while ago with my son, and he wanted me to call in with something. And the one thing we thought of was my father served in Vietnam, and he was unfortunately killed in Vietnam. And my mother saved all his letters that he wrote home from the field.

And in those letters, he would frequently sign off with a phrase that said, and don’t take any wood and nickels. I’ve always wondered really what that meant, what the origin was, and whether he was meaning it in a humorous way or what. So I was curious if you had any insight into that.

Did you know him when you were a boy?

No, he passed away when I was about nine months old.

Okay.

Oh, wow.

I just wonder if through your mother, if you learned that he was a funny guy. Did he often say jokes and have laughs and just kind of goof around a little bit?

Yeah, he had a wry sense of humor that way. He did.

Oh.

I would expect somebody who used that phrase as the sign off to letters home from a war, I would expect him to be a funny guy.

Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, if you read his letters, you clearly see that he was protecting my mother from the bad parts and the nasty parts, so he was certainly trying to keep them lighter for her.

Oh, wow.

And at the same time, telling someone not to take a wooden nickel is kind of a joking way just to basically say, you know, be aware of yourself, right? To make sure that you know what you’re doing and don’t let somebody pull one over on you.

Yeah, it goes back to a long tradition of joking advice. In the late 19th century, early 20th century, when sort of country bumpkins were moving to the city and people were giving them advice to not be taken in by the city slickers. And so people might say, don’t take any wooden nickels or don’t take any wooden hams or don’t take any wooden cucumber seeds. And the idea was that you shouldn’t be snookered or hornswoggled, you know, that you shouldn’t let the more sophisticated people take advantage of you.

And so it was a joke, right?

Yeah, it was just a joke.

But there were such things as fake nickels. I don’t know if they were made out of wood, but there were such things that make them out of cheaper metals than the ones in the real coins. And there’s even a long history of wooden nutmegs. Nutmegs were expensive per the pound, and so it was cheaper just to spend some time carving fake ones out of wood and sell those. Or even better, to salt a real load of nutmegs with fake ones. So there were some genuine ones in the bag, but there were some fake ones too.

These injunctions against taking wooden fakes go back to the 1820s, maybe even earlier. So it’s a long history.

But Tim, I’m so interested that your dad used that expression because it’s kind of a brave kind of joking, isn’t it? To just kind of allay people’s fears and be tough and humorous.

Yeah, I think so.

It’s interesting you mentioned wooden nutmegs too because that’s a phrase that my grandfather, his dad, used. I didn’t know there was a connection at all. But when you mentioned that, that rang a bell.

So it sounds like it’s something he picked up from his father that he kind of carried over.

That’s interesting.

Wow.

So there you go. It’s got a long history. Generally means don’t trust anyone or be careful about your business.

Yeah.

Thanks for sharing your story, Tim. I hope it was worth a plugged nickel. Thanks for sharing those memories. We appreciate it.

All right.

Bye-bye.

You bet.

Thank you very much.

Bye-bye.

Share your stories with us about language. What did your father say or your grandfather, 877-929-9673, or send an email to words@waywordradio.org.