Do Sandal Straps Become Handles?

Hello, you have A Way with Words.

Hi, this is Phil Ains from Omaha, Nebraska.

So I’m calling today because my friend and I have been arguing whether or not straps are handles for over a decade.

Whether or not straps are handles.

Yes.

Is this a drunken conversation or a sober conversation?

Maybe a little bit of both.

You know, it’s been 10 years, so there have been many, many arguments.

Okay, gotcha.

All right, tell us how this started.

How did you get to talk about straps and handles?

So about 12 years ago, a couple of buddies and myself went on a vacation.

And while we were on vacation, we were all wearing sandals, right?

And one of us suggested, hey, you know, if we wanted to take our sandals off and pick them up, the straps are the handles for the sandals, to which the other one began to argue.

And it has just never been resolved.

So if you are walking down the beach and you kick off your flip-flops and pick them up by the straps, are those straps handles?

Do your sandal straps become handles?

What side are you on?

I’m not sure if I want to tell you because it’s your opinion.

I don’t want you to make me feel better, you know, just because it’s me.

Wow.

You’ve heard the show enough.

Sometimes we disappoint people.

Martha, are we going to disappoint Phil today?

Gosh, I don’t know.

I mean, I’m thinking about you’re taking off.

Are they sandals?

Are they flip-flops?

What kind of, you know, does it have a strap between the toes?

I mean, let’s get specific here.

Yeah.

See, we were originally talking flip-flops, but I don’t know.

Let’s say you’ve got a gym bag and you pick it up by the shoulder strap.

Is the shoulder strap a handle?

Sometimes they have both a strap and a handle.

That’s true.

I’ve got a backpack like that.

Oh, man.

And you all have been arguing about this for 10 years?

For 10 years.

All right.

So what we’re talking about here is intention, right?

So let’s not get into the semantics.

Semantics are misleading.

And I say this as a dictionary editor because a dictionary just describes how people actually use words.

They’re not commands.

Dictionary definitions aren’t orders.

They’re not directions or instructions on how to use the language.

They’re descriptions of how we use the language.

So let’s not go there.

But what we can talk about is design intention.

How this particular feature was meant to be used.

And then we can talk about the word utilize.

Yeah, that’s where I was going.

Yeah, because we have the words use and utilize, which are a famous grammar bugaboo.

But they’re different in one regard that applies here, which is when you use something, you use it how it was intended.

When you utilize something, you use it in a new way, perhaps how it was not intended to be used.

Okay.

Well, Phil, tell us your side of the argument.

What’s your side?

Okay.

So I believe that straps are never handles under any circumstance.

I think that at best, a handle can be strapped to something.

And if you are holding something by the strap, it’s just strapped to your hand.

And I believe this because I think that the intention by which the thing is built denotes whether or not it’s a handle.

So if it is built with a handle, that handle was put there with the intent to be used as a handle.

But if you were to grab something not intended to be used as a handle and utilizing it as a handle makes it not a handle by definition.

Yeah, but again, Phil, we’re going to disappoint you or I’m going to disappoint you.

I don’t know what Martha’s going to do.

You’re just dwelling too much on semantics of it.

You’re taking refuge in semantic twisty, turny maze of arguments.

And just kind of enjoying the delight of conflicts of intent versus definition here.

And a handle doesn’t have a strict definition and neither does a strap.

Are you using it as a strap?

Then it’s a strap.

Are you using it as a handle?

Then it’s a handle.

But Grant, would you be picking up your sandal by the handle?

I might be picking up the sandal by a handle lit by a candle.

I don’t know.

Yes.

And I might dandle the sandal when lit by a candle by the handle.

All right.

All right.

I’m going to have to – we’re going to have to agree to disagree on this one.

No.

I’m right.

But I’ll listen to you, and the next time I tell him to go grab something, I’ll make sure to call it a handle.

No, but really here.

This is the language thing.

The language thing is what the speaker intends and what the listener receives are not necessarily the same.

And even though they might not be the same, even though they could be in conflict, that doesn’t mean that either party is wrong.

And this is the reason that language is not logical.

And it blows a mathematician’s minds because you cannot – and engineering people’s minds because you cannot apply strict logic to language because of that.

This is why I love your guys’ show.

Why is that, Phil?

Oh, I love thinking deeper about things.

So this is exactly the kind of thing that I’ve always loved.

And when you said math and engineer, you are on the right track there.

Are you an engineer or a mathematician?

I like to think of myself that way, I guess.

Okay, see, I knew it.

I knew it.

You’re looking for a logic where there is none.

Well, it’s a great thing.

My friend will never be hearing this radio program.

Oh, I’ll find him.

I’ll email your friend.

He’ll know.

He’s going to bring it up in your weakest moment and say, by the way, I heard this clip.

Phil, I don’t know if I can handle any more of this.

I feel like I’ve got a handle on the situation.

Okay, well, good, good.

Well, we’re not strapped to our answers, as you can hear, so call us again sometime, all right?

It was a pleasure.

I love your guys’ show.

Keep doing what you’re doing.

All right.

Bye-bye.

You too.

Take care, Phil.

Bye-bye.

Bye-bye.

Kick off your shoes and settle back for a conversation with us, 877-929-9673.