Quiz Guy John Chaneski doctor told him that in addition to adding more whole grains and vegetables to his diet, he should also replace words in his vocabulary with healthier alternatives. For example, she’d prefer that he say That actor was really chewing the scenery. He’s a real hummus! What’s the word that he replaced with seasoned ground chickpeas? This is part of a complete episode.
Transcript of “Cruciferous Brainfood for Your Cruciverbalist Quiz”
You’re listening to A Way with Words, the show about language and how we use it.
I’m Martha Barnette.
And I’m Grant Barrett, and wearing a kilt, playing bagpipes, and smelling lovely of the highlands, it’s our quiz guy, John Chaneski.
Hi, John.
Hi, Grant.
Hi, Martha.
Can you smell the heather?
Yeah, I can.
A lovely smell of the heather.
And your bagpipe music has really improved.
Re, re, re, re, re.
Oh, yeah.
I’ve got to practice.
I know I have to practice, though.
You know, I’m at that age where the doctor is telling me I must make some changes, and not just the kilt.
Most importantly, I have to change my diet.
Now, I don’t mind too much, but why does she make me change the way I talk about food?
For example, she insisted that I say, that actor was chewing the scenery.
He’s a real hummus.
Now, really? Seriously? I can’t call him a ham?
I got to go hummus? Well, I know, I guess I should get used to it.
We all should.
Here are some foods that have taken over my vocabulary.
Slightly healthier foods.
Let’s see if you can figure out what they used to be.
Okay?
Okay.
All right.
Here we go.
You know, I don’t get along with my neighbor.
I have a real tofu with that guy.
I have a real beef with that guy.
Yes.
Oh, oh.
I’m going to cut the beef out.
Real tofu.
I used to be a lot healthier, but, you know, that was back in my kale days.
My salad days, but as long as you leave the cheese in the dressing, our salad is okay.
Yeah, I can’t do the full, I got to go back to the crispy kale.
She may be strict, but my doctor is one smart fig bar.
Cookie.
Cookie, she’s smart cookie.
I can’t even do cookies.
I have fig bars.
Don’t get me wrong.
They taste fine, but still.
Once I got used to it, substituting healthy foods turned out to be a real piece of cauliflower.
A real piece of cake.
Piece of cake.
Oh, nice red velvet, perhaps.
No, no, cauliflower it is.
Red velvet cauliflower.
Red velvet cauliflower.
I love it.
Welcome aboard my boat.
Listen, when that boom swings around, be sure to… tofurkey.
Duck!
Duck.
Yeah.
Be sure to duck.
Duck.
Nice, crispy.
Tofurky.
Tofurky.
Tofurky, everyone.
Everyone tofurky.
Look, the IRS is on my tail.
I need a place to lay low.
Can you help me out of this chia seed paste?
Oh, my goodness.
Out of this jam?
Jam.
Oh, I was going to say this pickle.
Oh, pickle.
Oh, pickle.
Yeah, sure.
We’ll do pickle.
A lot of good alternate answers in this quiz.
Very good.
Finally, I heard he got nabbed by the IRS.
How did it happen?
Come on.
Spill the water.
Spill the beans.
Beans are actually quite healthy, but no, I’m looking for a little more slangy term for this guy.
Spill the tea.
Spill the tea, yeah.
Tea’s kind of healthy, too.
It depends.
Yeah, what kind of tea you’re drinking?
How much sugar do you put in there?
All right, those are my menu substitutions for the day.
Back to your parade, John.
They’re waiting for the bagpipes.
That’s me.
All right, take care of yourself.
Give our best to the family, John.
You too.
I’ll talk to you next time.
Bye, John.
That quiz was delicious and nutritious.
And if you’d like to chew the fat with us, give us a call, 877-929-9673.
Or find lots of ways to contact us on our website, words@waywordradio.org slash contact.
