The Differences Between Compassion, Empathy, and Sympathy

Hello, you have A Way with Words.

Hi, this is Mariana from Argentina.

From Argentina.

Where in Argentina?

Well, right now I’m in Buenos Aires in a town or a part of town called El Tigre.

I have a question.

Actually, I started to take some mindfulness classes and courses.

And in some of the readings that I’ve been doing, you know, of course, a lot of what mindfulness talks about in the practice is loving kindness.

And one of the words that comes regularly is compassion.

So I am usually very curious about etymology, about words.

And I wanted to understand, and, you know, it comes that when you search compassion, it comes from to suffer with.

Now, when I, or to suffer with somebody.

So when I was looking for the words, I also came to sympathy, which comes with the same etymology.

And when I tried to figure out what’s the difference between compassion and sympathy, I really could not find the right, you know, they sort of, it seems to be shades of the different things.

But I’m not sure about that, so I figured I’d call you guys and you let me know.

Oh, what a good question.

Well, you have similar words in Spanish, right?

Compassion and simpatia.

Simpatia.

Yeah, there’s one more, it’s empathy, empatia.

Right.

It comes up, too.

So I wasn’t sure.

Right.

And what’s your sense of the difference between those two words in Spanish?

Or is there a difference?

Well, when I think about sympathy and compassion, it seems almost that from sympathy, you’re coming from the outside, looking in.

Like, you’re not really a co-sufferer, almost.

And then when I think about compassion, I almost think that I am actually sharing the the feeling much more with the person.

But it might be just subjective.

I’m not sure.

That’s what I think about.

In my mind, they’re very, very similar.

And as you suggested, they both come from roots that have to do with suffering.

They’re related to the word patient, for example.

Very, very old roots that mean to suffer.

Like the passion of Christ is the suffering of Christ.

They’re all connected.

And the calm in compassion and the sim in sympathy both mean with.

But I do have a sense of those two being different.

And I think differently from the way that you’re describing them, at least in my mind, compassion is more for somebody who’s at a different level.

And I mean, I’m almost picturing this visually, that sympathy is when you’re side by side with somebody.

You’re sitting down with them.

You’re being present there for them.

And compassion to me is something that you feel for someone maybe less fortunate than you or maybe even more fortunate than you, but not on an equal level.

And that’s just kind of my gut feeling.

You know, for me, I guess when I think of compassion, it seems to connote a little bit more agency or potential agency.

If you have compassion for somebody, then you’re going to act on it, whereas if you have sympathy, you’re going to sit down with them by the waters of Babylon and weep with them or whatever.

I see. Yeah. You mean like you’re less willing to actually act on it and compassion would be more like you’re feeling it at a deeper level?

That’s an interesting way to put it.

Or not willing to be involved?

Yeah. Or you don’t have to act on it, I think, with sympathy. You’re just there beside the person.

Had a friend who died a few years ago who always said, love shows up.

And I think that showing up in that way is sort of what I’m thinking about when I think of sympathy.

You’re just there.

You’re alongside somebody.

There’s a couple things that I would throw in here.

One is not to get too hung up on the origins of these words because they have hundreds of years of history in both Spanish and English.

And they’ve taken different paths in both English and Spanish.

We really need to be looking at these in context because like so many words, they cannot really stand alone.

These are complex ideas that require a situation to give them their full meaning.

They require the company of other words to give them their full meaning.

I would say that I generally agree with what Martha was saying.

I think of compassion as being about helping somebody because you were sharing their feelings.

I think about empathy as sharing their feelings.

And I think about sympathy, having a little bit of pity in it, actually, because you were feeling their feelings as well.

But all of three of these words really require, we really need to be talking about a specific case or a passage in a book or a particular environment we’re encountering to really understand what they mean in that particular circumstance.

Because in another circumstance, at another time and place, they may have different nuances and different flavors.

Yeah, there’s some overlap and some difference there.

And I bet we’re going to have a lot of people who also want to join this discussion and weigh in on this, Mariana.

Thank you for a really thoughtful call and a very thoughtful question, Mariana.

We really appreciate it.

Well, thank you for everything you do.

I’ve been listening to you for ages.

And I’m so thankful about podcasts because even in Argentina, I can still listen to you.

Terrific.

Bye-bye.

Thank you.

Bye.

Have a great day.