Is your name a conversation piece? A listener by the name of H. Christian Blood shares his story growing up with a colorful name. And for those of you with a comment to make, Christian Blood would remind you that he’s heard plenty of it over the years, so unless it’s really something sharp and original, it’s best not to waste your breath. And yes, his name is for real. This is part of a complete episode.
Transcript of “Christian Blood”
Hello, you have A Way with Words.
Hello, this is H. Christian Blood from Santa Clara, California.
The letter H?
The letter H, it’s for the first name that I don’t talk about.
It’s a family name, Harold.
But when people ask, I usually tell them it stands for holy.
Because your name is H. Christian Blood?
Yes.
Oh my.
I’ve always gone by Christian Blood.
There must be a story behind this name.
You’re the first person named Christian Blood I’ve ever met.
Me too.
Here’s the amazing thing. There isn’t a story behind the name.
My parents had the last name Blood, and they liked the first name Christian.
A friend, another couple they knew, had a son about nine months before I was born, and he was named Christian.
So they liked that name.
And it never occurred to either of them that the combination of Christian Blood had a ring or meant anything until I went to school, started coming home and reporting to them all the things I heard.
Are you kidding?
Really?
It never occurred to them?
They’re still caught off guard by it.
Really?
They’re clearly not from a Catholic background.
They are not.
And they’re lovely people, wonderful parents, but they don’t have a great sense of irony or poetry.
But you sound like you’ve owned this name.
You didn’t try to euphemize it or come up with a nickname or anything.
No, you have to own it.
You talked about what people say.
What do they say when they hear your name?
Oh, I get a full range of responses.
Usually people ask if I am a Christian, and people often don’t believe.
They ask if my parents did it on purpose or if it’s my real name.
Many people suspect that as a teenager I might have changed my name.
This sounds to many people like a name one would pick for oneself.
Yeah, it does.
It does, kind of.
I knew a Christian who called himself Christ.
Not Christ, but Christ.
I’ve never thought of that one.
But I also get asked if I’m a writer, if I’m in a goth band, how I feel about communion.
These are all interesting questions, and I guess everyone doesn’t stop to think that you’ve probably been asked these things a thousand times before.
Not at all.
My mother, who’s not named, her first name’s Connie, but she’s got the blood last name.
And the last name on its own attracts a good deal of attention.
And whenever she can see someone winding up to ask something clever, she’ll stop them and say, you know, I’ve been married to Dr. Blood for 30 years.
And if you think you’ve got something I haven’t heard yet, feel free to proceed.
Oh, I bet most of them clam up fast.
So wait, so your father’s Dr. Blood, how do his patients like that?
My grandfather and father were Dr. Blood and they were in practice together for 40 years.
Dr. Blood and Blood?
Yes.
I hope it was hematology.
Not hematologists.
They’re osteopaths.
Oh, okay.
The patients don’t seem to think much of it.
They can always remember who their appointment’s with.
Clearly.
But all of my father’s kids worked in his office during the summer.
I would stand in for the receptionist while she was on vacation, and we would get calls not from patients but from radio station, like the morning zoo show.
Oh, no.
Or people who sounded like they might have been under the influence and found the name particularly funny would call, see if it was real.
Now, I’m Dr. Blood, although my doctorate’s in comparative literature.
Oh, I see.
It’s a little different, but I’ll tell you, my students absolutely never forget who their instructor is.
I’ll bet.
Christian Blood, you sound like an incredibly well-adjusted person.
I have a conversation about my name once a day.
I bet you do.
I bet you do.
I bet you do.
This is better than a boy named Sue, right?
I don’t have a complex in that direction.
Okay.
Very good.
Christian, thank you so much for sharing your stories with us.
This is great stuff.
Well, thank you so much for providing me many hours of entertainment and edification with your show.
Oh, our pleasure.
Of course.
I don’t know if it’s an equal trade here, though.
We’re having a good time.
All right.
Take care.
All right.
Thank you so much.
Bye-bye.
Bye-bye.
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