Step into a traditional English pub, it’ll be a while before everyone knows your name. A long while, in fact. The rules of conversational engagement are different in the UK from what you’d find in a place like Cheers. Kate Fox’s Passport to the Pub: The Tourist’s Guide to Pub Etiquette spells out many of the customs. For example, at English pubs, it’s better not to go for a handshake. Lynne Murphy, an American linguist living in the UK, addresses these differences in her blog Separated By a Common Language. This is part of a complete episode.
Transcript of “How British and American First Meetings Differ”
You’re listening to A Way with Words, the show about language and how we use it. I’m Grant Barrett.
And I’m Martha Burnett.
Imagine, you’ve just wandered into an English pub and the person next to you looks interesting.
You’d like to start up a conversation.
So, how do you begin?
Well, whatever you do, don’t introduce yourself.
Here’s some advice from a British book on pub etiquette.
The, hi, I’m Chuck from Alabama approach does not go down well in British pubs.
Natives will cringe and squirm with embarrassment at such brashness.
If your introduction is accompanied by a beaming smile and an outstretched hand, they will probably find an excuse to get away from you as quickly as possible.
The British, quite frankly, do not want to know your name or shake your hand, or at least not until a proper degree of mutual interest has been well established, like maybe when you marry their daughter.
It’s a bit of an exaggeration, but not much, according to Lynn Murphy.
She’s the American linguist living in the U.K. who has a great blog about the differences between American English and British English.
It’s called Separated by a Common Language.
And she writes that the British just have a different concept of personal privacy.
When she takes her own daughter to the playground, the British parents will strike up conversations and might ask about each other’s children’s names.
But they don’t introduce themselves, not the first time they meet and maybe not the second.
And Grant, what’s really interesting is that now there’s some new data confirming these kinds of differences in small talk and conversational openers.
A linguist recently surveyed teenagers in England, Ireland, and the U.S. about how they start conversations at parties.
And it’s really interesting.
Sure enough, most English teens say they’d start with just hi or something like that, a greeting.
The American teenagers prefer greeting and identifying themselves and sometimes asking the other person’s name.
And the Irish teens take a different tack altogether.
They’ll refer to the context somehow and evaluate it, which usually amounts to something like great party, isn’t it?
But it’s really interesting to me that there are all these different ways.
We get so used to conversational openers in this country.
But say in Finland, if you talk about the weather, you know, nice weather we’re having, which is perfectly legitimate here.
People look at you like, well, yeah, duh, thank you, Captain Obvious.
That’s interesting.
Very interesting stuff.
We’ll link to the study on the website.
Email words@waywordradio.org
